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What causes a man to become a exhibitionist?

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Tony12Max

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Jan 23, 2020
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Hello everyone!

NOTE: Whatever I’m going to write may be disturbing or for some people a criminal’s Literature, so if you feel disturbed by it please contact moderators for deleting it, flag this post if you feel something is wrong but please avoid using coloured langauge for me and rants about this post.

What causes a person to become an exhibitionist? Can you please refer some scientific papers, links? Because I must say I was not born like this, I was a shy kid, and my home was like typical Indian home where things like sex and all were kept very far. What could have happened to me?

My first encounter with pornography was when I was in 3rd Grade, but I must tell you that it was traumatic for me and I felt bad because I knew I did something which my father doesn’t approve of and what will happen if my father (who means so much to me) get to know of it, but the magical thing was that I (don’t know how) stopped watching it and didn’t watch porn again till 5th Grade, it had traumatic affect but not addictive.

But as I have become a fresh adult now, things have become addictive, and I know this is changing of my clothes in front of my maid would affect me like a biggest sin one day. It is to be clear here that I don’t masturbate or do anything like that, I with plans change my clothes at a time when I know my maid is about to come.

I need help, something is wrong with me. And please suggest me: do I need a psychiatrist or a religious guru? Because I don’t want to be on medication for all my life, medicines didn’t destroy me therefore they cannot heal me too.

Stay safe, hoping you all to be in best of health.
 
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bpd2020

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I think therapy could be really helpful. It will get to the root of why you need to do that.
 
Ramson mash

Ramson mash

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Maybe you had trouble in your past dealing with 'embarassment'. Bullying or trauma can do this. Make you lose your morals for a bit. However try to remember that this action is totally within your control and taking responsibility for your actions is a step in the right direction.
Keep practicing discipline and you will feel empowered by yourself rather than embarrassed by yourself.
 
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Tony12Max

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I think therapy could be really helpful. It will get to the root of why you need to do that.
Okay, how can I seek a doctor? I cannot disclose much on internet but if colleges will open I have to go to another state for the start of my undergraduation and there I will be free to reach a psychiatrist, here with my parents I cannot let them know that I have sexual addiction.
 
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Tony12Max

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Maybe you had trouble in your past dealing with 'embarassment'.
Can we talk a little more about that? What ‘embarrassment’ events could be it?

However try to remember that this action is totally within your control and taking responsibility for your actions is a step in the right direction.
Thank you so much for reminding me that, I’m feeling empowered now, but I don’t think I shall be able to battle the arousal-causing things. Please help me.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I would talk with your regular doctor about it just to have someone there you could talk with and see what he recommends.
 
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Tony12Max

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I would talk with your regular doctor about it just to have someone there you could talk with and see what he recommends.
Regular doctor ? I don’t have any.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Could you tell your parents that you need to speak with a counselor for some worries that you have?
 
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Tony12Max

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Could you tell your parents that you need to speak with a counselor for some worries that you have?
No Jessie I cannot. After moving to my college this year I might be able to search for some counselors.
 
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bpd2020

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Okay, how can I seek a doctor? I cannot disclose much on internet but if colleges will open I have to go to another state for the start of my undergraduation and there I will be free to reach a psychiatrist, here with my parents I cannot let them know that I have sexual addiction.
It sounds like you may have to wait until then. I can understand you do not want your parents to know your reason for seeking therapy.
 
Argon

Argon

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Can we talk a little more about that? What ‘embarrassment’ events could be it?


Thank you so much for reminding me that, I’m feeling empowered now, but I don’t think I shall be able to battle the arousal-causing things. Please help me.
Have you had sex? Does it help? I've never had your problem, but I know I always feel better after having sex.
 
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Tony12Max

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Have you had sex? Does it help? I've never had your problem, but I know I always feel better after having sex.
No I never have. I cannot do it and I don’t want to do it, I hate sex it’s very very momentarily and then all guilt... guilt... just guilt...
 
Argon

Argon

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No I never have. I cannot do it and I don’t want to do it, I hate sex it’s very very momentarily and then all guilt... guilt... just guilt...
There's your problem. You should have sex. When men get deprived of sex it can drive them nuts. If you can't get over guilt then it's something you need to talk to a therapist about.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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Hello @Tony12Max

I don't really think wanting your maid to see you when you're changing clothes is considered being an exhibitionist. Or anything that you need help for it should beat yourself up for.

You're an adult and have never had sex,it seems pretty natural that you would want to be sexual with someone that's around you so often like that. Are you attracted to your maid,would you like to have sex with her?

To me it sounds more like being exposed to porn at such a young age is the root of your problem.You already said it was traumatic, that's what you should be exploring,why it was traumatic and the effects it has had on you.

A counselor would be beneficial. There's a reason you are saying this about sex when you have never had it yet to be making these statements in the first place

. No I never have. I cannot do it and I don’t want to do it, I hate sex it’s very very momentarily and then all guilt... guilt... just guilt.
I suggest you don't put off talking to someone. Your parents don't need to know why, you're an adult. Or you could say you need to see someone for anxiety.

I'm not a doctor but wanting your maid to see you doesn't seem to be the problem to me. Your distorted thoughts and feelings about yourself and sex seems to be. And that's worth seeking help for.

Hugs
 
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