What can i expect from DBT therapy?

[NorthernBC]

I was diagnosed 2.5 years ago. Saw a physiatrist every 3months until covid 19 ended in person visits . Attending 1 yr personal counseling as I live in rural Northern Britsh Columbia. I was referred to mental health local support group at the hospital, but decided not to attend as I live in a small town and work with vulnerable clients professionally. This weekend I drove 4hr to a hotel my husband was at for work. I was convinced he was having an affair. I think about it now and ... think omg. WTF! He is not having an affair, my rage and anger took over my whole body. I have always looked for validation from others, I am definitely black or white in my thinking, I suffer from extreme emotions of abandonment issues. I will end a relationship or friendship at times and think ong what did I just do?? I am intelligent, have a professional career and yet I think I am nothing one minute and the next I think our office would operate without me. I just turned 50 with 2 adult children. I have been married 4times. I have no parents my mom was killed in a drinking driving accident my dad left me at 6...back in my life a few times . Once my 2 children born our relationship ship ended due to his alcoholism. I asked him to call when he was sober...that was over 25years ago. I still to this day wonder why I was not good enough...for my Dad to call me? Or has he not had a sober day in the past 25yrs... I have been told that I am resilient and strong willed stubborn the list is long. I am passionate, loving and fun. I am truly a kind, loving generous person. Then... it happens the rage over the smallest thing happens. I rant and rage hurting only the ones I love the most. Hurting my husband the most... after I am so sorry and wish I could take it back. I have had and extremely bad week ...nightly arguing with my husband o phone.

 

[AliceinWonderland]

Thanks for posting and to the forum.

I hope you get some useful replies, I can certainly relate to a lot of what you describe, and I'm sorry you're experiencing these difficulties. I'll try and come back and say more if I can. I did a brief version of DBT, but I'm sure a lot of our members have done it, and can hopefully answer your question better than I can.

Good to have you here, I hope you find the forum helpful

 

[Nukelavee]

Don't expect instant results. It's taken a lifetime to reach where you are, allow it will take time to unravel a lot of your issues/behaviours.

I've taken DBT and CBT, and I can say that, for me, they helped a lot. but it wasn't fast. And it took work/effort.

I say this because I've seen a lot of people give up because it didn't instantly fix their problems, and they give up too soon. Be patient.

Which, oddly, is one of the things you'll learn - how to be patient, and how to think calming, rather than emotionally.

for me - DBT was a group setting, which I found very helpful. It taught me that, no matter how uniquely messed up I was, I wasn't alone. So many behaviours and traits I was scared of or ashamed of... turned out to be common.

My therapist used the classes to teach Mindfulness, and to explain how things like depression and anxiety worked.

 

[Girl interupted]

Don’t let someone else’s terrible behaviour define who you are. You own you, nobody else.

DBT was a life changer for me, but like Nuke said, it’s not easy and you have to be invested in wanting to make a change, of being tired of living the way you currently are. It needs to be paired with one on one individual therapy for it to work. And you have to be prepared to do a lot of often painful hard work.

The good news is the moment you start living in reality, and not allowing your mind to come up with excuses to shield you, there is freedom. And stability.

But accepting reality as it is, as it was, is very challenging.

You can do it.