- May 23, 2020
Crippling over sensitivity. Sometimes I feel so fragile and everyone around me is so thick skinned. Feels so unfair and such cross to bear. One look or comment can send into a negative tail-spin. I really don't show this as I have developed a mask but my God it's created a private hell at times. I Use DBT tools that help but sometimes I'm just so tired from having to cope - I don't have infinite energy and sometimes people can really push my buttons. I can also be my own worst enemy by hating myself with such passion. I recently learned this was viewing myself, others, and life through a BPD lens. I found this to be most insightful. I now try to catch myself, when having BPD/traits thoughts and remind myself of how useful listening to my negativity is and, remind myself that my 'lens' can be adjusted! I have a choice! It's work in progress - such as living life - but little 'tools' such as viewing my thinking (old bpd pattern of thinking) helps me to readjust, reset, and try.