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What Are Your Symptoms? --take caution--

A

AboveAllOthers

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Founding Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2008
Messages
4
Woo, first post (aside from intros)! I'm not sure on my diagnosis as the doctors are unsure, however, most believe it is schizophrenia with something else. For now, they call it something along the lines of undetermined psychosis or psychosis to be determined. Some of what is below may be disturbing to others, even the doctors get uncomfortable for some of it.



For those who have it, or are relatives of those who have it, I'll list my symptoms, and could others say what theirs are? I've read information, however, that can only go so far, so, what ones do you have? Here are mine:

- At times, it's felt like I'm not really in my body. It's felt like I'm viewing from somewhere else down onto my body yet still in it. This doesn't make much sense to me but hopefully others can understand it. Things tend to move slower and some sounds seem to be slower in my perception.
- When I hear voices or see things, usually, I get twitches in my arms or legs. They can happen quite frequently and a few times my leg or arm has uncontrollably shot out (broken a few toes). Other times, it'll be so frequent, I'll be shaking endlessly that I'll start stuttering. Only a few times, parts of my body have randomly contorted and I couldn't get out of it. It only ever lasted a few seconds then I could move again.
- This isn't exactly like seeing things or the daydreams (see below), but these are trances. I've snapped into this dream-like world, unaware of what is going on around me but apparently doing this, I do certain things I'm completely unaware of. Others have talked to me and from their accounts, I don't respond to my real name and talk with a different attitude, sometimes childish, other times very hostile. I don't remember a single thing, only brief parts of what I saw in this trance-like state. Once I get out, which can be a while as this has lasted hours, I'll need someone else to tell me what has happened.
- Hearing multiple voices, either commanding me to do something, commenting on something, occasionally arguing (I'm not always involved) or insulting me.
- Seeing various things others don't, such as a shadow forming into something then coming straight at me, objects or people deforming then coming back to what they once were.
- Occasionally, tasting something like blood or metal in my mouth even when I'm not bleeding and not chewing on metal. With this, my mouth and tongue area tends to go numb, sort of like when at a dentist, they give you the painkillers that numb your mouth.
- In addition to seeing things, these are kind of like thoughts or sometimes manifest into things I see, sort of as a day-dream. They are always extremely violent, usually involving someone I see around me, even if I am unaware of who they are.
- I have an undescribable "need" for control of others. I think this may be due to my father striving for control over most others. When I cant get control, I get quite annoyed and these ideas of how to gain control or hurt the person tend to flash in my head.
- I love pain, mainly of others. If someone is in pain, I cant help but laugh because I find it funny. I don't understand what other emotion or behavoir I should exhibit. My mother tends to chuckle at some things that cause some pain, as long as there is no blood (she gets queasy).
- As for blood, I don't know why but I love it. I don't like to cut myself, however, if I see it, I don't know how to describe it. It's like something takes over and I just want more of it.
- I'm on medications (insulin diabetic), but even for medications such as anti-psychotic medications, I tend to either take too little but more commonly, I take too much. I know how much to take and I'll take that dose but then it's as though something commands me to take more and more of it.
- I don't understand people's emotions. I'm unsure if this is due to me being 18 (as my parents say but doctors say otherwise), but, it's like I can show an emotion (i.e. mimic) but not feel it, except for anger. I always feel irritated, even if everything is going perfectly. Others tell me I'm always on edge, however, my father seems to be somewhat insensitive to emotions and gets angry very easily, then gets abusive verbally. He's been abusive physically to me but has never laid a hand on my mother.
- I'm not sure if this is worth posting, however, I've tended to be manipulative of people. I see people more like an object that I can use. My father says he's the same. I use people for something then ditch them afterwards. I get very attached or clingy to people. I'll watch some people before making any moves to see if they're "right".
- Last, is fire. I absolutely love it. I don't know why as my parents get panicky when they see fire but I'm not only captivated, I want to see more, have it more intense.
 
M

maudikie

Guest
Have you ever seen a specialist and talked lke this to him/her? I presuem you have as you talk of medications. I can only say that you should keep taking the medication (prscibed) and see you G.P. at regular intervals (3-6 months) Report back to him any changes you may feel in your condition, and if your parents (with whom I presme you live) notice any difference in you or your behviour, then go to see the doctor again. Perhpas he will refer you to a Mental health group, or a C.P.N. and you can have reguar visits and talk things through.
Best wishes, and take care.
 
K

kano1544

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Joined
Jun 9, 2008
Messages
20
Location
Evans Head
symptoms or personality

I think most of the symptoms you listed are schizophrenic symptons. While some others probably have more to do with your personality, your upbringing and the environment you are in. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2001 and have also experienced most of the symptons you listed. I was immediately prescribed medication. After years of psychiatrist visits, medication changes, good and bad runs, suicide attempts, hospital visits and applying coping strategies, I am now well enough to work part time, study full time and raise my daughter. Although I'm not cured and probably never will be, I now enjoy a decent quality of life. At the time of my diagnosis and the time i was hospitalised, i never dreamed i would be as happy and healthy as i am now. So I am living proof that there is hope for people with serious mental illness.
 
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