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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

What are you thinking about right now? (mental health related)

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DD040894

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Apr 30, 2015
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819
I feel that insecure that even walking alone is stressful for me.
 
TooMuchPain

TooMuchPain

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Feb 6, 2019
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682
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\_(ツ)_/
I'm thinking Alberta because I'm tired of Qc taxes and I kind of view it as a rebirth. Almost like the colonists who left Europe in search of the free world, going to the untamed frontier. I realize it's not the 1500s and that I'd still be a wagie but just going the distance would feel like a grand adventure. I've never been tested before and what bigger challenge seeing how I can manage on my own away from my family. I would start afresh leaving my gaming PC behind making my commitment to being free from video games once and for all + buying a cheap property. Moreover AB's gun friendly and I'd want to grow a collection of firearms + learn to hunt and fish.

Mind you I can do all this in QC too or any other province West or East but not all provinces are equal and I think I have the Western Canadian mentality of hard work, determination and grit. Trouble is I'm thinking I may want to go back to study in further sciences but Alberta's mainly oil and that would mean a focus on geology which isn't really my passion of science, although writing about it now, it maybe interesting to research it further and see if I would like it.

But i'm still am unsure if I even want to go back studying or go into geology or astronomy since I also have an interest in military tech which would probably mean moving more to Ottawa with all the defense firms...But then their's other things that make me unsure of that...

TLDR lots of things to consider
It sounds like you have a plan. Albertans seem to be consolidated with their views. I think you should give that consideration and possibly choose an education that would be valuable there. I guess its a tradeoff between what you want to do and where you want to do it. It’s important to be happy. I hope you find your happiness.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Apr 20, 2019
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England
I learned that there have been two more suicides in my area, both a little too close to home but in different ways. I didn't know either of them although I knew who one of them was. The other lived on the same street as a family member. I don't know what that one left behind with regards to hurt but the other you can see clearly. I knew one of his relatives.
So what am I thinking right now? Please, if you're in that place, contemplating this, planning it, intent on doing it...think again about the hurt you'd be leaving behind and don't go through with it. Live to fight another day and then just take every day as it comes from there.
 
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DD040894

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Apr 30, 2015
Messages
819
Thinking about all my insecurities leading to depending on people leading to being more insecure leading to searching for something I should do, learn or do something else which makes me feel even more insecure because I cant do it properly...and so on..
 
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DD040894

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Apr 30, 2015
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About...how will I get out of this worrying state that lasts over 7 years. This morning I am in big fear, not sure is there a way out. And I take meds, and I go to psychotherapy, but all those things are helping me just somewhat.
 
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DD040894

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Apr 30, 2015
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AGAIN problem with pharmacotherapy.
Risperidone is not strong enough for my agitation and fears.
Olanzapine is, but side effects are huge. Huge weight gain and confidence is even worse with it.
Quetiapine is not strong anough.

I am really not sure what to do. Maybe to try combination of haloperidole with risperidone or something like that. I feel really, really bad and it is tough for me. My weight gain with olanzapine was over 30%.
 
TooMuchPain

TooMuchPain

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\_(ツ)_/
I really hate dragging my ass through every minute of every day. I can’t handle being around people anymore. Life sucks. Why must I endure this. I’m being forced to live a life I don’t want by people that don’t help.
 
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DD040894

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Joined
Apr 30, 2015
Messages
819
I really hate dragging my ass through every minute of every day. I can’t handle being around people anymore. Life sucks. Why must I endure this. I’m being forced to live a life I don’t want by people that don’t help.
Feel like your first sentence.
 
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DD040894

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Apr 30, 2015
Messages
819
I slept well, considering last 6 months or so.
I am feeling scared, deeply scared.
On plus side made a breakfast, went to bank to take some money, and now I am sitting in coffee bar, drinking tea.
Still feeling scared and depressed. It is hard to realize that you are definitely psychotic. It is hard to handle.
 
Gershwin

Gershwin

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Braggadocio
If I dont value this life how can I expect to get another chance when I'm dead. I could be fucked for eternity
 
D

DD040894

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Apr 30, 2015
Messages
819
I actually have good potential for recovery. Yesterday I was semi-psychotic in deep regression that I feared sitting in coffee bar. Today I woke up, made a breakfast, went to tennis for an hour, saw a friends in coffee bar, bought some fruits, had a lunch and put laundry into machine and washed dishes. Did a lot of stuff today really.
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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Mar 1, 2021
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California
I actually have good potential for recovery. Yesterday I was semi-psychotic in deep regression that I feared sitting in coffee bar. Today I woke up, made a breakfast, went to tennis for an hour, saw a friends in coffee bar, bought some fruits, had a lunch and put laundry into machine and washed dishes. Did a lot of stuff today really.
Glad you are feeling better today. 💗
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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Mar 1, 2021
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1,236
Location
California
Not feeling well,
I have to go to work.
I am going back to sleep after work.
 
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