- Jun 5, 2010
Boss hates me for no reason it is very bizarre.
Maybe she thinks you'd be good at it? I would take it as a compliment that she's asked you.I have been asked to house sit but the person who asked me has friends she likes much more than me and she has family so is she saying that her closer friends and family won’t help her?
Imagine how bad it would be to be on the streets at this time of year. So cold!Right now, I'm thinking fuck it! Maybe I should just go back to the smoke, live on the streets and go back on the drink and drugs. I mean what has a diagnosis and being sober ever done for me? Got me written off by society, twenty years on the sick and a crappy tiny flat that I'm too monged on medication to look after properly. Since I came off the drink I spend all day in here plugged into the internet playing games, at least when I was a drunk it killed off my anxiety to the point where I could go down the pub and interact with people without the internet. I also had Steph who was one of the most beautiful, sexy, kind and funny women I've ever met.
I had the best part of 17 years free from drugs apart from averaging a spliff once every five years at a party until this year and did it realy make me happy? No can't say it did. And long periods of sobriety from alcohol in that 17 years. Buddhism brought me some moments of peace but no real lasting satisfaction.
I used to think my Psychiatrist cared about me until that dumb nurse didn't order my orphenadrine and I refused my depot as a result and when I asked him for an orphenadrine prescription he refused, despite knowing that without it the side effects of the depot are so strong they prevent me from functioning. Now I realise he's just another power tripping professional.
Fuck it! Fuck the CMHT! Fuck the Lord Buddha! And fuck sobriety, I'm gonna buzz and enjoy my life before I'm too old. Fuck it! Here comes the meat, time to give in and roll with it. So long folks and thanks for all the fish!
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