What Are Dissociations?

U

Unsure101

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2018
Messages
1
#1
Hi,

I am in college and am currently taking a class on anthropology of public health, and it's made me start to question whether I have PTSD. I was severely emotionally bullied from ages 9-18, and now that I'm 20 and have been able to distance myself from the people who were hurting me, I am realizing the major impact the experience had on my life. For example, I am still having regular nightmares about the events - I probably dream about it at least once every week. I also leave almost every social situation feeling like crap, focusing on little things that I feel I should have done differently in order to not seem like a freak. This could be as small as feeling like I left too big of a pause in between conversations, or that my hair was out of place. Not only will these haunt me for weeks, but random things even years later can remind me of what I did "wrong".

But my purpose here is to talk about dissociation. I can't seem to find anything online describing it any better than just an "out-of-body experience", and I was wondering if something I occasionally feel could be classified as such. Every once in a while, I'll have a period of several hours where I almost feel drugged - I might go an entire day feeling sort of trapped in my mind. I can't escape my thoughts and everything going on around me feels like a movie, and if people try to hold any conversation with me that's more than small talk, I get extremely anxious and snap at them until they leave me alone. However, I can sometimes "snap out" of the feeling by forcing myself to be around friends (which is hit-or-miss because it can also make me feel considerably worse) or by watching fun YouTube videos. I think YouTube helps because if I watch unscripted videos, it kind of feels like an intermediary between the "screen world" I'm feeling around me (where it feels as if everyone is an actor) and the "real world" that I'm normally a part of (where, like the videos, social interactions occur without planning).

I know that PTSD can't be diagnosed without a psychiatrist. I'm just here to be able to anonymously receive some opinions on my suspicions before talking to someone in person.

Thank you so much for reading this long post!

Taylor
 
R

Roseessa

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
57
Location
Nottingham
#2
Hi,
I think the best thing to do is talk to a doctor or psychiatrist about this and see what they say.
There are many different types of dissociation.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
1,240
Location
USA
#3
I agree with the above post.

It's best to see a professional and find out what's going on with you.

Hugs
 
A

AntipsychoticREFUGEE

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 17, 2018
Messages
107
Location
London, Westmister
#4
By my rendition there is 4 categories for the phenomena. 1st the biggest evil is the dissociative amnesia. You just suddenly find your body on other place than where the film got cutten, warp-drive and it's followed by motoric difficulties and zombiness (emotions totally gone). Then 2nd depersonalisation during which, you just feel to be someone else. And again no emotions at all and the memory of it starts to rumble very fast and after some days after can't recall practicly anything. I can't say much about the 3rd one, the derealization because i'm not sure have i really experienced it or not. One might be close some time ago. 4th the squit out of your own body parts like feeling that your legs are not yours. This is mental killer. I've learnt to block it out from my mind, until point something, and then various reactions starts to occur. "Only" from anti-social but stable to fully-blown rage fits. Espicially if the dissociative sensation of some body part is on consecutive hours 2-3-4, get tuff!
 
tragicpink

tragicpink

Active member
Joined
Nov 22, 2018
Messages
42
Location
Canada
#5
dissociation comes in many forms and in different levels of intensity. what you have described could definitely be categorized as dissociation.
 
M

McGrath

New member
Joined
Jan 15, 2019
Messages
2
#6
Hi I'm not sure whether they are disassociations as such. I have had them for a few years now and when they come on they're pretty sudden and there is no knowing of what I did for a few hours! Do you know what you are doing during this time? I suggest talking to a psychiatrist that specialises in trauma and asking if the do EMDR or IRRT which are made for trauma victims
 
C

change

Member
Joined
Jan 15, 2019
Messages
14
#7
Wow, unsure, I feel like I went through this same thing.

I feel like I literally grieved my PTSD diagnosis. There are 5 stages of grief. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. But the fact is is that you do not know. You have a strong suspicion, but it's almost like you're bargaining. I feel that, anyhow. It's going to be okay, though, Really It Is.

Here's how I know: ultimately, healing is a possibility, but only for those who start out - as you have - seeking answers and direction. A doctor's diagnosis is necessary, yes, but before you do all that it is best to join some sort of support group. If this works for you as one, that's great.

You don't have to do this alone.