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What a week

Ladyhawk418

Ladyhawk418

Active member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
27
Location
Adrian, Mi.
Hi everyone,
Well life keeps getting worse & worse. My 18 year old daughter stole my Xanax and tried to commit suicide Sunday night. She is in holding till Monday and was diagnose with borderline personality disorder. I told my boss she was in the hospital but did not give out all the info and kept going to work long enough to get most of my work done. One of the workers said we were getting low on chicken wings but I knew I could not make it to go get them till Saturday without totally getting behind on my work. Well we ran out last night and the boss wanted to know why. I wrote an email to her that I didn't see anything wrong with but explained the situation and she came in and told me what a slap in the face it was and that I was on a 30 day mandatory leave of absence and took my keys and at the end of the 30 days I will be evaluated to come back. Here is the email:

Good Morning,

I apologize for running out of wings. I was hoping the amount we had would make it till Saturday when I could have time between the hospital, moving Andi out of her apartment, and my work to make it to Toledo. We went through more wings than expected with the Fantasy groups. Bob is going down to pick some up from Gordon's. I have to have a minimum of $250.00 for Gordon's for delivery and $500.00 for Sysco so I could not have them delivered and have to go there to pick them up.

Rob, I did get everything set up for Russ Fenner for the kegs of beer for his son's wedding.

I apologize again for running out.With the circumstances this week I think I've held on pretty well. I have not really said what happened but Andrea tried to commit suicide and if one of her friends hadn't called her when he did she would have succeeded. I would have been going to my daughters funeral and not just going to the hospital. I have a lot of emotions running wild right now and I am sorry if you think it has affected my work. I have been here every day and getting my work done & trying to keep business as usual along with juggling all that is going on and I am exhausted. But I am trying to get through all of it. I did not want anyone to know as I am devastated by all of it and did not want anyone thinking bad of her. She is in therapy at Herrick right now and I hope they make sure they keep her long enough to get all of this worked out. I am scared of her coming home. I am scared of what caused it. I am scared that it could happen again. I hate that I did not see the signs and wonder why I didn't. I wonder how long these feelings will last and if I will ever get over worrying about these things. I hope you understand and if you don't, well you never will. If you have never come close to losing a child you probably won't but this is about my 4th close call with my children (John almost died 3 times) and it really is hard to deal with. This is the first self inflicted and that one bothers me more than anything. So I hope you understand and will not hold it against me. I had to get this off my chest and let you know how I feel. I do not want your pity or anything from you, I just want you to understand where I am right now.

Sincerely,

Please tell me if you think this is bad. I can't see where she thinks this is such a slap in the face. I was just trying to convey that I had a lot on my mind and chicken wings was not a top priority. Places run out of things all the time and it's not like I knew it was going to happen. Am I wrong for feeling that she is being really a B**ch about this? I mean I was at work every single day and the only thing I missed was some wings. Please give me your input as I am totally upset and depressed about this. Although it will give me some time to look for another job as if you have read any of my posts you might remember that my job has gotten to be a real drudge and her & I don't exactly see eye to eye on things.

Well thanks for listening.
:confused: :mad: :unsure: :(
 
D

Dollit

Guest
What would it be like for you to have a supportive boss? I think I would have been tempted to deck her to be quite honest.

You don't need someone else's attitude on top of what's went on. Get a new job sweetie.

I hope all works out well with your daughter - like you're going to pick chicken wings over your daughter, right. xxxx
 
Aahbut

Aahbut

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
277
Location
Midlands
You're right Ladyhawk, she is a bitch. And an uncaring one at that, I hope she chokes on the chicken wings.
 
Ladyhawk418

Ladyhawk418

Active member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
27
Location
Adrian, Mi.
Thanks guys, Yes I am going to get some things done to get ready for fall and winter and update my resume and get going on seeing what I can find for a job. I think I want to check into something a little less stressful. I think I might check into housecleaning at a hospital or nursing home job. I like people and I am very good at cleaning. (just not my own house lately). I just needed a really unbiased opinion on if I was being nasty in the email. I didn't think it was but I am kind of clouded right now.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
That's what we're here for sweetheart, look after yourself, life's too short to put up with that kind of trash. xx
 
Ladyhawk418

Ladyhawk418

Active member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
27
Location
Adrian, Mi.
My daughter comes home from the hospital tomorrow. They diagnosed her as bipolar and borderline personality disorder. It makes me wonder what am I? I have always had panic disorder and ocd, did she get this all from me or maybe that's what is wrong with me? No one ever really tested me for anything. My panic attacks were hereditary and they were quite evident. I am trying to think of this time off as a positive thing to get things done around my house as I have let things go because I work so many hours and do have depression that I tend to just go into my computer for all my release. I want a punching bag and gloves with my bosses picture on it to work off some of this anxiety. Ok that came out of left field but my head keeps bouncing around with where to start with everything. I just feel so lost & I want out of this lousy town where we just exist. We have no friends and even our son does not really give us any support emotionally or physically. I mean he knows his dad can't go out in the snow in the winter to shovel the snow but he has never once offered to help me and I have trouble keeping up with everything on my own. I feel like a lost soul just treading through the deepest sands of life that are just never ending. I am 53 and getting another job is not going to be easy. We live in an area with the largest unemployment rate in the nation so houses aren't selling and things are just bad here all the way around. I sometimes find myself feeling like I could lapse back to my agoraphobic years. I don't care if I ever leave the house but I know if I don't we will lose everything. I don't know how much more I can stand emotionally and we can't move back to where our family that is supportive can help us. California is too expensive for us to even think about. No way I could ever make enough money with no degrees to pay the bills. I am just so lost.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
With being in separate countries it's harder to suggest things to help. All I can say is I'm here and I'll always listen. xx
 
Ladyhawk418

Ladyhawk418

Active member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
27
Location
Adrian, Mi.
Thank you all for your support. My daughter is home and going to therapy. She has been good about being more respectful to me and her dad and our feelings. Now if I could just get over all of it. I am still having trouble sleeping and when I do my boss seems to be in every dream. Some of the things she said to me were just so hurtful and she is a workplace bully that does not practice what she preaches. She is always telling everyone that they should treat people the way they themselves would want to be treated and I often wonder how she would feel having someone talk down to them the way she does me. I have been working on my resume this week and the bad thing is I have no degrees to put down, just practical experience. I have taught myself all my skills as a bookkeeper and some accounting skills. I mean really the only thing our accountant does is the year end check and the yearly income tax. I do all the payroll, monthlies and quarterlies throughout the year and yes I use Quickbooks that does most of it for me but I used to do it manually for years at my old job in Ca. If I didn't know how to do something I pulled out an old copy of what I needed to know and studied how the accountants did it until I had it down. But in todays work arena you are just a piece of paper and I don't look that great even though I am sure I could do the work. I just know at the end of these 30 days I don't want to go back. I wish I could just be the housekeeper I want to be and fix my house that needs so much work and practice living my life the way I would like to live but since hubby can't work I have no choices in my life. I have to work and I have to make a certain amount to survive. We are barely making it on what I make now so if I can't find anything that pays what I make we will lose everything so I will have to go back. The human resources board is no help for me. The one person I thought I could go to, according to the "boss" was disgusted by my email explanation. That I was dumping all my problems on them. I didn't mean it that way but oh well it's done now and I know I have no friends there at all and no one to trust or go to for anything.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Don't forget the skills you've accumulated over the years in raising your family and running your home. You're organized and efficient. You can plan and put the plans into practice. You're compassionate and caring. You have patience and recognize that people need time.

Get all that on your resume!
 
Ladyhawk418

Ladyhawk418

Active member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
27
Location
Adrian, Mi.
My boss called today and want to meet with me tomorrow over all this. I am so nervous and I feel so betrayed. On of my coworkers that I have respected and always liked so much I think has betrayed me. I may be jumping the gun but I can access my work emails online and had it set up so that they stay on the server so I have been looking in every once in a while since I haven't even gotten the weekly happenings mailings that go out to everyone and found emails to my office with my coworkers name on them. My actual 30 days of being relieved of duty would be up on the 28th but and I expected to meet with her next week but our work picnic is Saturday and we are meeting tomorrow. Like I said I may be putting the cart before the horse but it seems a little convenient that we are meeting so soon and just before the picnic. I think that I am either going to be let go or be demoted and they are going to give Gina my job. Maybe I am being paranoid but it all just seems too weird. I do have a tiny tape recorder so I can tape what she says to me as she always seems to twist what I say and I get so flustered that I can't always remember when she starts to put me down and demean me. I just sit there and take it. It just puzzles me that Gina just emailed me a couple of days ago about some of her personal problems and how were we doing but did not mention that she is working in the office. A "good" friend would have told me on the sly so that I would not be blindsided. Maybe I am just being paranoid. I meet with the "boss lady" at 2 tomorrow and hope I can maintain some sanity till then to be professional at this meeting. I am so scared if I lose this job I lose my house and everything. I have been looking for jobs but they are quite scarce around here. I should have done more with my time off like getting rid of things I don't need just in case as I knew it could and might be a possibility. Please let my Xanax kick in quick as I think I will lose my mind soon. :cry: :( :mad:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
It's hard not to project but do try not to. If they do let you go it will be a huge thing be try not to cope with it before the event.

Be calm and cool and consider all your replies before you give them.

And let us know how you get on. xx
 
Ladyhawk418

Ladyhawk418

Active member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
27
Location
Adrian, Mi.
Thank you Dollit, even though I knew in my heart it was coming I kept hoping I was just imagining it. It really hurt cuz I didn't think Gina would go behind my back as a friend and I wasn't too surprised by the wenches tactics. She was all nice about it yet when I asked her what I did that was so wrong to get me fired she really didn't have an answer for me except for a receipt of stuff I bought for a gift basket that I did not label what it was for. She said it was those kind of little things. Why would I label a receipt that I myself normally enter when I know what it was for and I put it in the computer as what it was for? I just wasn't there to put it in the computer cuz she put me on leave of absence. I have never been let go from a job before and it feels so humiliating. Anyone reading this please don't take the following as a racial slur...even her husband said one day in chatting with another person about his wife getting mad " you have no idea when she gets going about the wrath of a black woman, you know the wrath don't you Em? " I just shook my head as they laughed about it. Then she says I'm fired but plays all sweetsy nice and says it's all her fault as she was just acting with her heart for my mistakes (protecting me) and not as a good business woman. Because I ran low on hot dogs once and ran out or wings the week my daughter tried to commit suicide? Have you never been to a restaurant or store when they were out of something? OMG Shoot me! I have commited the cardinal sin! Tomorrow is the company picnic and the place I workED is a veterans members club and I am still a member........I wonder how people would act if they saw me coming up the drive and proceeded to pound a few back like nothing happened? Of course they would look at me weird since I don't drink and they all know it. LOL Well I am still trying to process this so will go and think some more or maybe just go to bed. I am so mixed up right now that I don't know which way to turn. Nite everyone. :cry:
 
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