• We have just changed our forum software and are still tweaking things. You can log in using your existing user name and password. If you spot any problems please let us know by posting in the Feedback and suggestions section of the forum.

    Watch this short film to find out how to use the new forum!

What a traumatic year

B

Bbygrl1079

New member
Joined
Dec 31, 2018
Messages
2
#1
I'm new here. So far this year my marriage of 19 years almost fell apart, I had to reconsider my career and not only change jobs but change sectors completely for my mental health. My moodiness got so bad I considered suicide for a short time. I wake up every day feeling inadequate. I feel like I'm failing my family. My husband is trying to be supportive as of lately. I hid from my family for 4 years because I was so miserable. I didn't want to spread the miserable around. I often feel like I'm an insignificant piece of crap. The only thing that helps is my husband being nice to me. I know he can't be my everything and codependency is unhealthy. That's why I'm on here.
I can't be trusted to make friends irl. I have wounded bird syndrome. I attract the most wretched and broken people and then befriend them. These people have no boundaries and insert themselves into my most intimate relationships like my marriage and children. At least on line you control how deep the friendship can go. No one knows where you live. They can't just drop in when you'd rather they go away.
I'm trying therapy for the first time this year. We're trying marriage counseling for the first time as well. He's going to try therapy as well. We've bonded over our mutual sickness our entire marriage so now we're going to spice it up with getting wellish. I say wellish because you can feel better but you'll never be okay. It always lurks. Like a storm cloud in the distance.
 
B

Bbygrl1079

New member
Joined
Dec 31, 2018
Messages
2
#4
Thanks for the support. This is the first time I'm going for help and it's scary. My sister went and wound up being held in a mental facility for 6 months. I don't hear voices like she does but I'm scared anyway. I'm the breadwinner here so being locked away is not a good move.