• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Were you able to save your relationship?

T

TheCarlough

Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
21
Location
Anchorage, Alaska
I posted a few weeks ago about my current situation.

tldr: wife put a protective order on me after 13 years together. I wasn’t physically abusive but emotionally for years. She says she wants a divorce and I don’t blame her. She needs to get out of our current relationship.

Over the last few weeks there have been countless ups and downs. Right now I’m doing “ ok”. I’ve been able to see and focus on my kid.

I’ve been working on myself, trying really, really hard and knowing it’s going to take time. But, can we actually get better?

Has anyone been able to improve themselves to the point where their relationships feel like “new” relationships? If so, can you share? What was your situation? What did you do to work on yourself? How long did it take before you started feeling real change? What happened with the relationship? If reconciled, how does it feel now?

I’m just curious on other people’s stories. Right now, I feel like I did SO MANY bad things that my wife will never give us another chance, regardless of the improvement I make.

Thanks!
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
1,064
Location
Norfolk
I posted a few weeks ago about my current situation.

tldr: wife put a protective order on me after 13 years together. I wasn’t physically abusive but emotionally for years. She says she wants a divorce and I don’t blame her. She needs to get out of our current relationship.

Over the last few weeks there have been countless ups and downs. Right now I’m doing “ ok”. I’ve been able to see and focus on my kid.

I’ve been working on myself, trying really, really hard and knowing it’s going to take time. But, can we actually get better?

Has anyone been able to improve themselves to the point where their relationships feel like “new” relationships? If so, can you share? What was your situation? What did you do to work on yourself? How long did it take before you started feeling real change? What happened with the relationship? If reconciled, how does it feel now?

I’m just curious on other people’s stories. Right now, I feel like I did SO MANY bad things that my wife will never give us another chance, regardless of the improvement I make.

Thanks!
My wife has had a rough thirty years dealing with my self destructive traits. I’m not in a dissimilar situation to yourself where my wife had enough.
However we are trying to become friends again and the only way to achieve that was becoming mindful and giving up all my coping mechanisms.
The journey continues.
 
Top