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Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Jan 18, 2013
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I know I've only been online and not posted and I'm sorry. I've only checked and seen if I have any PMs. I've been a bit busy with support groups (two of them!) and new therapist who I see twice a week. He's a male but we are not talking about the sexual abuse at the moment. I dont feel comfortable yet. I've also seen a psychiatrist that agrees I'm on way too many drugs and we are going to do a long withdrawal process. I see her again on Wednesday. I'm also in a day program where I go there and do a couple groups a day. Since the shooting though I haven't been there.

What shooting you may ask? Someone shot up a detox Center in town on Saturday. It has scared me. I don't like guns but I live in a state that is a hunting state and we have an open carry law. I don't really want to get into a conversation about outlawing guns because it wont happen in my state.

Then the shooting in Chatanooga and Louisiana has scared me really bad also.

But I'm actually not suicidal. As well as stable.

I'm sorry I haven't been there for anyone. I'm just trying to find my feet but I'm doing it!!! I'm actually sleeping and the voices aren't too bad a lot of the time. I do switch a lot still but that's to be expected.

I'm relieved about this. I'm still on all of the meds but won't be for long :D
 
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MarlieeB

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I am so glad that everything seems to be coming and that you have got what sounds like great plans.

Never be sorry about putting yourself first :D

xxx
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Thanks Marliee!! I hate that I worried people but I didn't have time.
 
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MarlieeB

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I've missed you and been worried but it was worth it to see what you have posted xxx
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Oh, and my disability got extended so I don't have to worry about that for a bit. I can focus on myself and my support groups and my therapy without having to get a job.
 
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MarlieeB

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Even better!!!!!!!

:D

You have seriously made my month.

:hug1: xxx
 
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mumdownunder

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I'm so glad that you are now getting lots of support. A new therapist, does that mean you've stopped seeing S?

Like others I've been worried about you and wondered how you were travelling
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Yes I stopped seeing her. She wasn't doing what she was supposed to be. Plus Ive been hospitalized four times since seeing her. I'm relieved to be not seeing her anymore.

I'm going to get a soda with my group leader on Tuesday. I'm kind of excited about that. Then group soon after that.

I really like J. He is really nice and doesn't treat me like I'm stupid like S did. I'm actually treated smart. He doesn't know some of my abuse but he says all the time that I have a lot to deal with.

I hate that there was a shooting here in my less than 10,000 population community. Then the other two mass shootings.

I also that I've worried people. I'm sorry.

How are you doing MDU? You are never far from my thoughts. Lots of people on here are my friends and I appreciate them.
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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It sounds like you are getting lots of support right now, and I am so glad. I know things were pretty rough between you and Sue for awhile, so maybe it's good that you are seeing a different therapist now. I hope eventually you will feel comfortable enough to talk with your therapist about the SA, but I know right now it's probably way too scary. You can talk about it when you feel safe enough to do it. Even with my therapist, who is female, it took a long time for me to trust her and be able to talk about being abused by a babysitter. You have to just gain trust little bit by little bit before you can talk about the really big stuff.

I am sorry to hear about the shooting. I can well imagine how frightening that must be. My cousin was shot to death, and actually today is the anniversary of his death. I hope that your fear about this shooting won't stop you permanently from going to the day program. Did it occur near there?
 
Nikita

Nikita

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Glad to hear you are getting everything sorted Lincoln,especially the medications,I am glad you are with a new therapist too and also that your disability got extended so you don't have to worry about the finances for a while longer.I was asking about you the other day,wondering if you were in hospital.Sounds like you are sorted for now and that you are a lot better and calmer,and didn't need to go into hospital.I am pleased for you.:hug:Nikitax
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Thank you Valleygirl and Nikita.

Yes unfortunately the shooting happened close to the place we go for my support groups. It scares me. But this was an isolated incident and he wasn't targeting mental illness. He has confessed to the crime and they have the federal police investigating it as a hate crime. I live near a Native American Reservation. And the two shot were Native Americans.

We are not a very big town so this really has rocked our community. People making threats to other races. Police having to vamp up their patrols. I'm scared for those with guns to "snap" like this man did. Nobody saw this coming. Now people are making horrible comments about mental health. Saying everyone with mental illness should be shot. Which upset me. But I do my thing. I have yet to go to the store since this but I will have to soon. It only happened Saturday.

Yes thank you Nikita. I appreciate you asking about me. No I didn't go into the hospital. But I did call for an appt with the therapist and I saw him within a week. Then the psychiatrist within a week of that. Then J every for twice a week for three in a row. The support groups and day Center occupy a lot of my daytime hours. And the best part is that I can leave if I don't want to share or don't want to be there, unlike the hospital. When I was in the hospital, I was made to go to every group they had. They would revoke my ability to walk outside (that happened literally 4 times the entire 5 weeks I was in there).

I hope he stays awhile. He's not expecting to leave for awhile but I hope he doesn't leave until I'm done with therapy. We are just talking about little things right now. Like my job history and schooling. The SA will come later. He knows some of it because of the records. But not all.

Again thank you!
 
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