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Rainyy

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Hello all :)

So I've been thinking for a long time, where to talk, who to talk to etc. Each time I talk to my friends I get this feeling that I start regretting it right away. I'm starting to be quite much for my partner although he supports me as much as possible. I don't have friends in the place I live in because I left my home country.

Sometimes it just this complete loneliness. And my thoughts turn to be so dark and depressing. I have been seeing a psychologist for a couple of times now, I was lucky enough to find a psychologist who speaks English as I don't speak the language of this country. I don't have a diagnosis, I talked to my psychologist for a moment and she asked do you know what is bipolar? I said yes.

I'm not sure how to get this official diagnosis, like black and white. My psychologist says diagnosis is not the most important thing, but if I want medication I should see a psychiatrist. Yes... Any advice how to bring up this diagnosis thing with her? I feel kind of stupid saying "hey I want a diagnosis." I'm seeing her next time 20.01.

I'm so scared most of the time, I'm scared my life will be ruined one way or another. Going to work is the greatest struggle and it's pulling me down. I get so anxious, depressed and angry because of work. I feel like I'm chained to it forever, I want to study, I want to do the things that I WANT. I'm just going to work because it is my only chance here because of the language. If I quit I will lose my money = life will be ruined. If I stay I feel like I will just slowly go insane, ruin my relationship and everything else. I already got such angry outburst couple of days ago and it felt so horrible I cried because I hated myself so much. I'm lost and scared.

This was just a small piece of "me". Just wanted to say hi all and get some support. :mrgreen:
 
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Rose19602

Guest
Hi Rainyy,

Welcome to the forum and so sorry to hear that you are experiencing these difficulties, particularly when away from home and family....that must be so hard for you.

I realise that you just gave us a snapshot here....and that your psychologist will have a better, more rounded view of you and how you are affected by your difficulties....however, don't be too much in a hurry to get a diagnosis.

Over weeks of therapy / counselling you may change and your therapists view of you may also change. Give therapy a good go and let him/her really get to know you perhaps.

Psychiatrists generally prescribe and diagnose....little else....although they are the gatekeepers in the UK to further treatments. Not sure how they work in the country you are in?

If you are bipolar, medication is the treatment of choice, but other treatments like therapy, could be worthwhile pursuing first to be entirely sure that you will not respond to this, less invasive, form of treatment.

You could ask your psychologist to write a letter to the psychiatrist - with your permission and with sight of it ideally - to describe why she thinks you may be bipolar. Keep in mind, that she is not qualified to diagnose though....even if she does have professional insight after speaking to you.

We will support you through all of this online if you like. Please keep posting and use us as your support system perhaps whilst away from home.

take care
x
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi Rainyy and welcome to the forum.

It must be difficult when feeling so bad and lonely and away from your home country. I think your psychologist is right about a diagnosis not being important but I can also understand why you would want to know. You don't have to officially ask; they might not be able to diagnose that quickly anyway; just ask what they think is wrong with you. The psychiatrist, if good, will medicate according to your symptoms not diagnosis.

I wish you well.
 

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