• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Weird thoughts

  • Thread starter YellowButterfly
  • Start date
Y

YellowButterfly

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
19
Location
Marseilles, IL
Has anyone else ever felt like there were cameras in their eyes? Or somehow can read your mind?
 
E

Emmy

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
12
Location
USA
Yeah, I’ve always felt like I was being watched (by god(????)) through screens in the air and would just look directly at them wondering how awkward it would feel to have that happen.
 
C

CaptainFlint

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 1, 2019
Messages
96
Location
West Coast U.S.
I have.. unfortunately mine was a real experience of being hacked and stalked. However, I imagine the feeling is similar. It's very hard and weird to deal with the prospect that someone else is watching you. So I can and do relate

Are you on meds that help you with that at all?
 
E

Emmy

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
12
Location
USA
I have.. unfortunately mine was a real experience of being hacked and stalked. However, I imagine the feeling is similar. It's very hard and weird to deal with the prospect that someone else is watching you. So I can and do relate

Are you on meds that help you with that at all?
Oh god... I hope you’re physically safe from whatever traumatized you. Most of my own problems I guess are just caused by themselves being problems? I don’t have any sort of traumatizing experience like the rest of you on here, luckily. I’m just a teenager whose life has been a series of coincidences and mild inconveniences that never allowed her even the thought that there was something to open up about until now, I guess? So the answer for that would be no. But I’m mainly here to relate to people. I think very abstractly, and have a lot of a harder time than normal coming up with my own words when it’s not something I’ve heard someone else express, especially since my fam is of the mentality ‘nothing’s wrong with you! (Denial) / ‘it’s all in your head, if you tell yourself nothing is wrong you’ll heal!’ (Keep in mind this was referring to my own physical asthma and allergies that often in turn triggered my asthma I grew up extremely uninformed about but still experiencing and humiliated with myself about) so it took a very long time to get over taking everything I was told like a brainwashed person and begin to learn how to start questioning things and thinking for myself...still hard though. I also have a test tomorrow and want to try and find some sort of little pipe connector in my mind to ward off this anxiety. It usually gives me an elated feeling that should help a lot...

I apologize for the long rambling on your post. I’m afraid if I go back and edit this, I’ll sound apathetic or disinterested to you, and I’m at that phase of just kinda throwing everything out there in case someone comes along who can relate it back. ;-; And yeah, stay safe. You definitely have a real problem and a real excuse to feel the way you do. Sending stranger love and safe vibes your way.
 
C

CaptainFlint

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 1, 2019
Messages
96
Location
West Coast U.S.
Hahaha I love your long rambling post. Made my day actually. I'm usually the one to talk too much, so I always like to hear other people's thoughts

I'm glad you aren't going through anything seriously traumatizing, but hey. I know what it's like to be a teenager, and practically every day is mildly traumatizing in it's own way. I'm just now in my 20s, and adulthood does get a little easier I think, so don't worry. More responsibility of course, but you learn along the way, and once you get old enough, you realize that nobody knows what they're doing, even fully grown adults! Everyone just takes it one day at a time.

And you're already a step ahead of most people, because you're willing to talk about the things that bother you, which is the quickest way to learn.

I understand how frustrating it is to have people tell you there's "nothing wrong" when you feel that there is. Nobody can tell you how to feel! And if you do feel frustrated, having someone to listen to you works wonders. I know my parents weren't very supportive in that way..

Not only did they tell me I didn't need help when I had clinical depression.. they even said "no you don't need glasses" when my eyesight wasn't perfect!! So believe me I know haha

And hey you don't sound apathetic or disinterested at all. I'm glad to have someone to talk to that talks as much as me :cool:

And regarding my own personal traumatizing experience that happened recently. I've found it hard to post about on the forum, because I just can't talk about it. Freaks me out to even think about what happened. But I think I'm gonna be okay

Please post more rambling essays in the future
C:
 
Y

YellowButterfly

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
19
Location
Marseilles, IL
Yeah, I’ve always felt like I was being watched (by god(????)) through screens in the air and would just look directly at them wondering how awkward it would feel to have that happen.
That's actually a really interesting way of putting it, and I can only imagine how intense that would be. Mine is more like I believe someone others are able to see into my mind and see all the bad things I've done or bad thoughts I think, or I see things on social media and think they're meant for me, like communicating to me. Also I know your reply was to Captain Flint but wanted to say that I ramble a lot myself lol. And I felt your response was really interesting and not just mere rambling but more of a free thought kind of thing. I'm a bit older than both of you and I just wanted to say too how right it is that one of the best things to continue to do is talk with people and express those the things that worry you. I keep going through periods of isolation because I think it helps but in reality it doesn't, and I think has obviously contributed to the loss of connection I feel with my friends and family. I hope you can feel better soon and also get more support on your journey for both your mental and physical well being. Thank you so much for helping me feel less alone in my thoughts of being watched. 💛
 
Y

YellowButterfly

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
19
Location
Marseilles, IL
I have.. unfortunately mine was a real experience of being hacked and stalked. However, I imagine the feeling is similar. It's very hard and weird to deal with the prospect that someone else is watching you. So I can and do relate

Are you on meds that help you with that at all?
I can't even imagine what that would feel like, as Emmy said, sending safe vibes your way. I hope everything got resolved from that and that the person that did that to you was charged. I struggle a lot with feeling safe, so I relate to that feeling, of hardly being able to talk about it. 💛 I think the hardest part of my thoughts is just the feeling of being judged, or that even though I'm trying to change I don't deserve to. And not sure if your question was for me or not, but in case it was, I'm not currently taking anything for it and am too nervous to take anything like that at this point in time because I am a stay at home mom and take care of my almost 2 yr old son all day.
 
E

Emmy

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
12
Location
USA
Hahaha I love your long rambling post. Made my day actually. I'm usually the one to talk too much, so I always like to hear other people's thoughts

I'm glad you aren't going through anything seriously traumatizing, but hey. I know what it's like to be a teenager, and practically every day is mildly traumatizing in it's own way. I'm just now in my 20s, and adulthood does get a little easier I think, so don't worry. More responsibility of course, but you learn along the way, and once you get old enough, you realize that nobody knows what they're doing, even fully grown adults! Everyone just takes it one day at a time.

And you're already a step ahead of most people, because you're willing to talk about the things that bother you, which is the quickest way to learn.

I understand how frustrating it is to have people tell you there's "nothing wrong" when you feel that there is. Nobody can tell you how to feel! And if you do feel frustrated, having someone to listen to you works wonders. I know my parents weren't very supportive in that way..

Not only did they tell me I didn't need help when I had clinical depression.. they even said "no you don't need glasses" when my eyesight wasn't perfect!! So believe me I know haha

And hey you don't sound apathetic or disinterested at all. I'm glad to have someone to talk to that talks as much as me :cool:

And regarding my own personal traumatizing experience that happened recently. I've found it hard to post about on the forum, because I just can't talk about it. Freaks me out to even think about what happened. But I think I'm gonna be okay

Please post more rambling essays in the future
C:
I actually had the glasses thing too! It’s so trippy when you grow up with something slightly wrong, there’s no way for you to borrow someone else’s life to realize what it’s supposed to actually be like: “huh, is this what they mean by the blackboard being blurry from far away? I mean I can’t see it but it’s not like when they blur out censors in the tv” Or “wait, is my throat supposed to feel scratchy and metallic when I eat turmeric?” And it’s not really until you try glasses or find a medication that one’s like “holy moly It’s possible to run until your legs literally can’t push you any further what on earth my lungs usually hurt by now”

I was actually sitting in my advanced math class and decided to try and work at the same pace as my friend when I realized other children could just sit down and do math without drawing on the side of their notes, and then again in school when we were practicing together and other students could just read something over and over and just remember it, whereas for me I had to put myself into a variety of emotional states so I wouldn’t forget it if I happened to be feeling a different emotion on test day and create a little story and research the origins of every little word I didn’t know to get it in there? So that’s now I noticed that.


Thank you for being tolerant of my rambling.

I’ve found growing up that I couldn’t keep a diary because I couldn’t function with a record of every small thing that bothered me because then they would pile up and I wouldn’t be okay... so I don’t find it weird at all that you would need to do that for something so recent and serious. Sometimes putting stuff in stone by talking about them or writing them somewhere they’ll be permanent makes things worse, and it’s better to just tackle small portions of them, like the emotions or the surface level stuff in a way we can just brush off quickly and won’t be bothered over.

So yeah!
 
E

Emmy

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
12
Location
USA
That's actually a really interesting way of putting it, and I can only imagine how intense that would be. Mine is more like I believe someone others are able to see into my mind and see all the bad things I've done or bad thoughts I think, or I see things on social media and think they're meant for me, like communicating to me. Also I know your reply was to Captain Flint but wanted to say that I ramble a lot myself lol. And I felt your response was really interesting and not just mere rambling but more of a free thought kind of thing. I'm a bit older than both of you and I just wanted to say too how right it is that one of the best things to continue to do is talk with people and express those the things that worry you. I keep going through periods of isolation because I think it helps but in reality it doesn't, and I think has obviously contributed to the loss of connection I feel with my friends and family. I hope you can feel better soon and also get more support on your journey for both your mental and physical well being. Thank you so much for helping me feel less alone in my thoughts of being watched. 💛
Ah yes, I’m definitely very flighty with my friends and family. I grew up being told I’m clingy and bossy and looking back i was actually quite reserved and extremely shy, so that doesn’t help at all. I grew up thinking it was selfish to try and make friends because I could be taking advantage of people to be nice to me when they didn’t want to, and was scared to try too hard to invite people over or confront them about problems I had with them because I was convinced I would lose them and was afraid of failure. So I didn’t explain myself a lot, and would sometimes just leave a chat and cry on my own and expect someone to understand how they were being cruel? Idk. It’s hard for me to make the first move and it still feels like nobody actually likes me since they don’t text me first as many times as I do or have shorter replies. Though that wouldn’t be just growing up, it’s just that i don’t have much of an adulthood to talk about so bunching them all together seems more efficient.

As for isolation...there are times i just can’t make the first move to invite someone to go to Starbucks together or something. It’s hard for me to keep a schedule in general, and I’m terrible at long deadlines so something as abstract as friendship is just a giant white abyss to me. Do occasionally have that one acquaintance who hugs me all emotional when we met over summer and I was mentally like ‘I thought you had like a bazillion friends when on earth did you start remotely caring about me?’ Supposedly it gets better with age... but I’m the kind of person who kind of needs to have close friends, so if I don’t find one I’m going to be one of those Japanese neet stereotypes that just stay inside trying to distract themselves on the net. I can do things alone but even so I need to have music on or work on my stories or something to feel alone together with somehow?

Agh, I haven’t heard many other people describe this so i don’t really know what I’m feeling myself.
 
elliepaige20

elliepaige20

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
153
Location
Kent
Has anyone else ever felt like there were cameras in their eyes? Or somehow can read your mind?
Hi there,

I've definitely had this feeling before, but normally I worry that there are cameras in inanimate objects and sometimes I even feel the need to turn them around. I'm the same with photographs on my bedroom wall. I think the fear of being watched exists in a lot of people, especially if they've had a bad experience. I think mine probably relate back to childhood, having pictures taken of me and being shared around without my knowledge etc. Believe it or not, a teacher even took a picture of me sleeping while away on a school trip and then proceeded to share it around the whole class. So needless to say I've always been a bit paranoid.

Have you spoken to your GP or a counsellor before about this? It might be worth bringing up to figure out the root of the problem and try to combat it. I often try telling myself that the fear is very irrational, which calms me down for a moment, but it's only short-lived. Just know that you're not alone in this, I think it's just a form of anxiety some of us have, nothing more. I truly hope you start to feel better and that this post has helped in some way xx
 
Y

YellowButterfly

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
19
Location
Marseilles, IL
Hi there,

I've definitely had this feeling before, but normally I worry that there are cameras in inanimate objects and sometimes I even feel the need to turn them around. I'm the same with photographs on my bedroom wall. I think the fear of being watched exists in a lot of people, especially if they've had a bad experience. I think mine probably relate back to childhood, having pictures taken of me and being shared around without my knowledge etc. Believe it or not, a teacher even took a picture of me sleeping while away on a school trip and then proceeded to share it around the whole class. So needless to say I've always been a bit paranoid.

Have you spoken to your GP or a counsellor before about this? It might be worth bringing up to figure out the root of the problem and try to combat it. I often try telling myself that the fear is very irrational, which calms me down for a moment, but it's only short-lived. Just know that you're not alone in this, I think it's just a form of anxiety some of us have, nothing more. I truly hope you start to feel better and that this post has helped in some way xx
Thank you so much for this, I'm sorry to hear of your experience, but genuinely appreciate you sharing it. I have mentioned it at times, it was mainly thought that I fear or believe I'm being judged. But I think you're right in that getting more to the root of this specific fear would help me a great deal, as a lot of my current isolation issues also stem from this fear. Thank you again for your insight and for helping me feel less alone 💛
 
Y

YellowButterfly

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
19
Location
Marseilles, IL
Hi there,

I've definitely had this feeling before, but normally I worry that there are cameras in inanimate objects and sometimes I even feel the need to turn them around. I'm the same with photographs on my bedroom wall. I think the fear of being watched exists in a lot of people, especially if they've had a bad experience. I think mine probably relate back to childhood, having pictures taken of me and being shared around without my knowledge etc. Believe it or not, a teacher even took a picture of me sleeping while away on a school trip and then proceeded to share it around the whole class. So needless to say I've always been a bit paranoid.

Have you spoken to your GP or a counsellor before about this? It might be worth bringing up to figure out the root of the problem and try to combat it. I often try telling myself that the fear is very irrational, which calms me down for a moment, but it's only short-lived. Just know that you're not alone in this, I think it's just a form of anxiety some of us have, nothing more. I truly hope you start to feel better and that this post has helped in some way xx
Also I genuinely hope the teacher was reprimanded in some way for doing that to you!
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
556
Location
Plymouth
It's called dissociation, google it, is scary, but it does go, experienced similar, but nothing quite like that. I would feel scared, but remind yourself, it's just a feeling, not a nice one, but won't harm you.
 
Y

YellowButterfly

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
19
Location
Marseilles, IL
It's called dissociation, google it, is scary, but it does go, experienced similar, but nothing quite like that. I would feel scared, but remind yourself, it's just a feeling, not a nice one, but won't harm you.
Thank you so much for the tip, I will definitely look it up, and for the reassurance. 💛
 
elliepaige20

elliepaige20

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
153
Location
Kent
Also I genuinely hope the teacher was reprimanded in some way for doing that to you!
Hi again! I'm glad I could help in some way :) Unfortunately nothing ever happened with the teacher, but I think that's mainly because it was intended to be funny rather than creepy if that makes sense. Then again, you never know someones true intentions. Paranoia is something that has affected both myself and others all over the world so you're definitely not alone here. Feel free to speak openly on the forums and I'm sure everybody will be understanding and kind. This is a safe space where we can all chat and get along :) Best of luck xx
 
Top