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Weird thoughts and actions

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onenightonly

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Mar 13, 2021
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6
Location
Greater Manchester
Hello.
First of all I'm male and 65 years of age. I have been married for forty three years. I'm quite an out going type of person who still believes he's young at heart. My wife isn't a person that comes and hugs me, it's I that has always done the chasing.
I recently decided to sort out a few old items, including photographs. I came across some from a holiday I had in Majorca with two pals in 1974. I met a young girl who really thought a lot of me, she even wrote her address on the rear of a picture taken at a BBQ. She left after a week but I never followed her up when I returned home despite her only living some 20 miles away. I was young and very naive.
Some 15 years later whilst working in her neck of the woods I decided to find her address and give her a call but, she had moved from the address she gave. I just wanted to say I was sorry for never contacting her. I completely forgot about her until recently.
With the power of social media I decided to put out an sos for her. I received a message from her sister and was upset that I had placed her name and old address on her Towns social page. She also had been married for over forty years and didn't want to engage in conversation

I now regret my actions and realise what a stupid thing to do. I was still upset by my actions in 74 by never contacting her when I returned from holiday. This hurt me at the time and I actually regretted my actions back then.

Why am I looking up people like this, I am happily married myself, even though my wife isn't a hugging type of person.
 
crybaby11

crybaby11

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Mar 14, 2021
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32
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USA
i don’t know about you, but sometimes reaching out to old acquaintances doesn’t stem from anything serious. sometimes i feel nostalgic, or maybe even a little lonely, and just think, “man, i wonder how that person is doing nowadays.” i sometimes will go on facebook and search for friends i had in middle or high school that i don’t talk to anymore, just to see how they’re doing. you do mention that your wife isn’t the hugging type, and perhaps there’s some subconscious issue you have with that, and could be why you wanted to reach out to the woman, but it also could just be what i mentioned before. curiosity maybe?

regarding the actions you took to try to find her, it might seem dumb to you because of the outcome. maybe a good way of seeing it is now you know she’s alive and well! you might still have the regret of never reaching out back then, but you won’t have the regret of never reaching out at all and spend years wondering how she is
 
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onenightonly

Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2021
Messages
6
Location
Greater Manchester
i don’t know about you, but sometimes reaching out to old acquaintances doesn’t stem from anything serious. sometimes i feel nostalgic, or maybe even a little lonely, and just think, “man, i wonder how that person is doing nowadays.” i sometimes will go on facebook and search for friends i had in middle or high school that i don’t talk to anymore, just to see how they’re doing. you do mention that your wife isn’t the hugging type, and perhaps there’s some subconscious issue you have with that, and could be why you wanted to reach out to the woman, but it also could just be what i mentioned before. curiosity maybe?

regarding the actions you took to try to find her, it might seem dumb to you because of the outcome. maybe a good way of seeing it is now you know she’s alive and well! you might still have the regret of never reaching out back then, but you won’t have the regret of never reaching out at all and spend years wondering how she is
 
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onenightonly

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Mar 13, 2021
Messages
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Location
Greater Manchester
Whether it's an age thing, I'm uncertain. I do have nostalgic feeling many times in recent years. I spend many hours with the headset listening to old songs on youtube. I'ts a strange one because each time I hear a certain tune I am transported back to that era and I know exactly where i was and what I was doing. I listened music from the 70s last night, tears rolled down my cheeks when I heard Seasons in the sun by Terry Jacks, maybe I'm just a softy or scared of getting old.

Despite not getting the opportunity to say sorry for not following up her invite all those years ago, maybe as you say, intrigue arises and you do wonder how a certain person is doing.
Thank you very much for your response, it was appreciated.
 
crybaby11

crybaby11

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Messages
32
Location
USA
ahhh, i’m much younger than you are and i feel nostalgic sometimes too! listening to music i used to listen to makes me sad, but it’s sort of bittersweet. maybe it’s what you said about being scared of getting old, maybe it’s wishing we were back in those simpler times :cry:
 
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onenightonly

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Joined
Mar 13, 2021
Messages
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Location
Greater Manchester
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I still cannot get this girl out from my mind. I was very young and wasn't really interested in girls to a degree, I do look back and realise, and without blowing my own trumpet that I wasn't a bad looking lad. This girl was really keen on me and she cried hard when she left for home. I was there for another week. I just wanted to explain to her that I was so young, she was two years older than me and I hadn't really had a relationship with someone that showed so much interest in me. Maybe I didn't realise how much she meant. She must have thought a lot to write her phone number and address on the back of a picture taken at a BBQ. I have been happily married for forty years and love my wife to bits but, she seldom hugs me or even tells me she loves me. Maybe my mind is is all over everywhere and doesn't know how to pacify me. I dunno. Hopefully I will overcome this silly phase I'm goiung through.
 
crybaby11

crybaby11

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Messages
32
Location
USA
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I still cannot get this girl out from my mind. I was very young and wasn't really interested in girls to a degree, I do look back and realise, and without blowing my own trumpet that I wasn't a bad looking lad. This girl was really keen on me and she cried hard when she left for home. I was there for another week. I just wanted to explain to her that I was so young, she was two years older than me and I hadn't really had a relationship with someone that showed so much interest in me. Maybe I didn't realise how much she meant. She must have thought a lot to write her phone number and address on the back of a picture taken at a BBQ. I have been happily married for forty years and love my wife to bits but, she seldom hugs me or even tells me she loves me. Maybe my mind is is all over everywhere and doesn't know how to pacify me. I dunno. Hopefully I will overcome this silly phase I'm goiung through.
have you ever talked to your wife about that? it might be taking a toll on you subconsciously even if it’s been 40 years. maybe especially since it’s been 40 years
 
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onenightonly

Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2021
Messages
6
Location
Greater Manchester
Hello again.
No. I haven't told her but, she has noticed a big change in my personality, I'm normally a bubbly type character but recently i have been quiet. She put this down to lockdown and restrictions. I did ask for a hug because I told her I am feeling very low, she said I can have a hug anytime. I just told her of thoughts running through my mind but not of what I have done regarding this girl. If I did tell her she'd just go off in a huff, it probably isn't worth it.
Thanks again for taking the time to reply.
 
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