- Feb 26, 2021
- Puerto Rico
I am concerned. Very, very concerned. For some reason, I am having doubts. What if it doesn't bring me euphoria, creativity and motivation and instead just... I don't even know. I forgot how being under the influence felt like, it's been a while. Heavy? Relaxed? More optimistic about life than usual? That's all fine and dandy, but I want more--need more. I need what I've lost; the ability to feel. Just feel, like a normal person. I want to feel motivated, uplifted, satisfied, content, happy. I want to have a purpose, something that I look forward to. I want to not dread waking up everyday and suffering through the slow and boring passing of time because there is nothing that I enjoy doing and the very few things that I did enjoy hardly entertain me anymore thus leaving me without a distraction and wishing for nightfall so that the day can finally end. Only to repeat itself all over again in the morning.