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weed/addictions/mh

L

lilacmoon

New member
Joined
Aug 17, 2021
Messages
2
Location
UK
hi, last year I was smoking around 3.5g of weed a day. I cut down a lot, to barely half a gram a day and was so proud (although I struggled and wasn't able to fully quit or have a day off).

A year later and its as bad. Not smoking as much, but through the day just trying to get through another day where I don't wish to be here. Waking up at night, not able to sleep without it. Needing more and more to get high. and finally, in the last few months this has been getting worse, all my savings are now gone. for the first time ever, nil.

I'm so sad. i struggle to communicate how bad it is now to my mh team, they do know, last time they shrugged it off as it "helped" despite me saying i want to quit. now they say reduce, but I NEED to quit. I dont want to smoke it anymore. I haven't for a while. Its not helping me in the long run, and I realise its just another addiction type thing I use to escape. It was self harm as a teen, then excessive blackout drinking when i was 17/18/19/20 and the last two years (now 22) ive smoked a lot every day. scavanged to find money for it. sold photos for it. borrowed money off friends and family.

but how do i communicate this and they take me seriously? now i am facing debt and im so scared, ive never been in this position before. i risk loosing my flat i worked hard to get and my dog. i now don't have the money for his healthcheck. I feel like the worse dog mum ever and hes the only thing thats kept me alive and ive let him down so so much.

I am so embarrassed weed is my poision. no one takes me seriously because of it. ive used other drugs a lot in the past, i know i cant drink without high risk factors so i dont, or take mdma. i sometimes wake up craving coke even though ive only ever used it recreationally. i just dont know what to do anymore.

im sorry this is long and messy

--

edit: i try to smoke less but then i smoke tobacco more, or sometimes i want a line of ket or a drink. when i tried to quit fully i couldn't bear the nights. my life is honestly just such a mess. i barely even go out anymore, i start to panic just crossing someone in the street.
 
Racer

Racer

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
200
Location
Florida
I really would like to offer advice, but I am not good at dealing with addictions. Or really any other aspect of my life right now. I hope you can get the help you need. I'm sure you are not the worst dog mom ! My dogs are great therapy for me. spending time with them makes everything better. It wasn't easy for me to stop smoking weed, I quit 4 years ago after smoking daily for close to 30 years. I drink more now that I don't smoke which seems to make things worse for me. I know it isn't the answer to replace 1 addiction with another. I am just trying to go 1 day at a time. I hope you can too !!
 
mischief

mischief

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Hi

This NHS web page may assist you to find the support you need:


Using this link you may find more specialised support than your mental health team can provide.
 
Bod

Bod

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Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
3,104
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Planet Zod
hi, last year I was smoking around 3.5g of weed a day. I cut down a lot, to barely half a gram a day and was so proud (although I struggled and wasn't able to fully quit or have a day off).

A year later and its as bad. Not smoking as much, but through the day just trying to get through another day where I don't wish to be here. Waking up at night, not able to sleep without it. Needing more and more to get high. and finally, in the last few months this has been getting worse, all my savings are now gone. for the first time ever, nil.

I'm so sad. i struggle to communicate how bad it is now to my mh team, they do know, last time they shrugged it off as it "helped" despite me saying i want to quit. now they say reduce, but I NEED to quit. I dont want to smoke it anymore. I haven't for a while. Its not helping me in the long run, and I realise its just another addiction type thing I use to escape. It was self harm as a teen, then excessive blackout drinking when i was 17/18/19/20 and the last two years (now 22) ive smoked a lot every day. scavanged to find money for it. sold photos for it. borrowed money off friends and family.

but how do i communicate this and they take me seriously? now i am facing debt and im so scared, ive never been in this position before. i risk loosing my flat i worked hard to get and my dog. i now don't have the money for his healthcheck. I feel like the worse dog mum ever and hes the only thing thats kept me alive and ive let him down so so much.

I am so embarrassed weed is my poision. no one takes me seriously because of it. ive used other drugs a lot in the past, i know i cant drink without high risk factors so i dont, or take mdma. i sometimes wake up craving coke even though ive only ever used it recreationally. i just dont know what to do anymore.

im sorry this is long and messy

--

edit: i try to smoke less but then i smoke tobacco more, or sometimes i want a line of ket or a drink. when i tried to quit fully i couldn't bear the nights. my life is honestly just such a mess. i barely even go out anymore, i start to panic just crossing someone in the street.


Like you I know just how bad addiction is was as I drunk to get drunk and I smoked weed and took coke as I did not want to live my life of pain anymore and this went on for many years until I hit my rock bottom and I got the help I needed to rebuild my life from the bottom to the top. It was hard as hell to do but for me I had to do it, I don't touch drugs now and never will but I have one bottle of beer every night as I can't drink to forget now. Please keep talking as we all care, and if you really need to talk then feel free to PM and we can talk about anything you want, or I will just listen.
 
TDCI1994

TDCI1994

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2021
Messages
99
Location
Essex
hi, last year I was smoking around 3.5g of weed a day. I cut down a lot, to barely half a gram a day and was so proud (although I struggled and wasn't able to fully quit or have a day off).

A year later and its as bad. Not smoking as much, but through the day just trying to get through another day where I don't wish to be here. Waking up at night, not able to sleep without it. Needing more and more to get high. and finally, in the last few months this has been getting worse, all my savings are now gone. for the first time ever, nil.

I'm so sad. i struggle to communicate how bad it is now to my mh team, they do know, last time they shrugged it off as it "helped" despite me saying i want to quit. now they say reduce, but I NEED to quit. I dont want to smoke it anymore. I haven't for a while. Its not helping me in the long run, and I realise its just another addiction type thing I use to escape. It was self harm as a teen, then excessive blackout drinking when i was 17/18/19/20 and the last two years (now 22) ive smoked a lot every day. scavanged to find money for it. sold photos for it. borrowed money off friends and family.

but how do i communicate this and they take me seriously? now i am facing debt and im so scared, ive never been in this position before. i risk loosing my flat i worked hard to get and my dog. i now don't have the money for his healthcheck. I feel like the worse dog mum ever and hes the only thing thats kept me alive and ive let him down so so much.

I am so embarrassed weed is my poision. no one takes me seriously because of it. ive used other drugs a lot in the past, i know i cant drink without high risk factors so i dont, or take mdma. i sometimes wake up craving coke even though ive only ever used it recreationally. i just dont know what to do anymore.

im sorry this is long and messy

--

edit: i try to smoke less but then i smoke tobacco more, or sometimes i want a line of ket or a drink. when i tried to quit fully i couldn't bear the nights. my life is honestly just such a mess. i barely even go out anymore, i start to panic just crossing someone in the street.
Hey I'm currently in a similar situation I alot people think cannbis is a soft drug but once your brain has grown up a resistance and no longer feels like when you first started in which we take more to overdrive this problem. I'm currently using an ounce every 2 weeks along with some pretty heavy meds at the moment. I would not come off the smoke straight away baby steps by maybe use in the evening and night to start with then go from there if you want a chat pm me keep save buddy
 
ht46

ht46

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Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
3,662
Location
Pluto
I smoke cab mostly but a bit of weed to and drink and my mind state just switches from depression to paranoia don't feel good often, cutting back on booze helps the antidepressants do their thing and weed makes me paranoid so I guess I also need to cut back, it's tough though when I had a sever weed habit it wasn't until my life turned to chaos that I decided to cut down I don't think I'll reach that point again as I've learned from my mistakes now drinking is the biggest issue I don't know how I'll cut back all the time my psychiatrist is trying to give me diazepam and make me go cold turkey but I'm not to keen on that. I guess at the end of the if you can reduce to a moderate amount and deal with the side effects and live life might be the best shot we have, idk.
 
Novastars

Novastars

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2021
Messages
556
Location
Scotland
I know it isn't the answer to replace 1 addiction with another
Very true. I've seen it in a friend who stopped smoking and then started to exercise excessively. And although exercising to a point is much healthier than smoking, he had just replaced one addiction with another one.

Key is to go to the source, the reason for the addiction, and work on that.

Its not helping me in the long run, and I realise its just another addiction type thing I use to escape.
You've already got this insight, @lilacmoon, that's a great start. I bet you know the reason for your self harming too. Are you able to work through the cause of your addiction with your mental health team?
If you don't know how to communicate how bad your situation is, could you let them read your post? Reading your post I find it pretty clear how desperate you are.

Wishing you all the best and a hug for your dog. They are the kindest therapists on earth.
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