• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Ways to overcome fear of talking

B

BornGone

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
106
Location
Germany
I really struggle with small talk and conversations overall. When strangers start talking to me I mostly smile like an idiot and just say 'yes' or nothing at all.
This way I won't ever be able to go on a date or find new friends. But my mind goes blank everytime. I just feel like I bore people or weird them out.
Just what do people talk about? Preparing doesn't help, I already tried that.
My therapist is a bit feed up with me because I don't really engage in small talk or do anything about this problem. But where do I start?When is the right time to start small talk or begin a conversation?
I'm not interesting or funny so...It's a bit hard
Anyone knows a good way to start?
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
54,757
Location
Lancashire
Hiya. I used to be the same so I would go to parties and stand in the corner not talking. So I decided I would observe what others did, come home and practise in front of the mirror. I realised that most people ask the other one about their life. I would prepare ahead of time things that I could answer and work on that. You say you aren't interesting or funny, most people aren't funny. I bet you are more interesting than you think. What do you do for a living?
 
B

BornGone

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
106
Location
Germany
Hiya. I used to be the same so I would go to parties and stand in the corner not talking. So I decided I would observe what others did, come home and practise in front of the mirror. I realised that most people ask the other one about their life. I would prepare ahead of time things that I could answer and work on that. You say you aren't interesting or funny, most people aren't funny. I bet you are more interesting than you think. What do you do for a living?
I'm still a student and just quit my part-time job about a few months back because they started to bully me. I can't defend or stand up for myself and yeah😅 so I worked in retail and watched my coworkers when they were talking with the costumers but it just felt weird when I tried to copy it... and there was just so much I couldn't cover like when costumers made jokes and waited for a follow up joke by me
It was a disaster
 
Okie Cavies

Okie Cavies

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
58
Location
Oklahoma
borngone, I can really identify with this. I'm terrified of interacting with people. It has helped me more than I can say to have someone 'normal' to watch - someone who is generally polite and gets along well with everyone else. I watch this person and imitate their actions in situations where I feel panicked.
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
1,457
Location
North Carolina
Basically asking questions is the key. Just get them to keep talking about themselves and eventually they get around to asking you about yours. Try to get a flow going.
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
774
I really struggle with small talk and conversations overall. When strangers start talking to me I mostly smile like an idiot and just say 'yes' or nothing at all.
This way I won't ever be able to go on a date or find new friends. But my mind goes blank everytime. I just feel like I bore people or weird them out.
Just what do people talk about? Preparing doesn't help, I already tried that.
My therapist is a bit feed up with me because I don't really engage in small talk or do anything about this problem. But where do I start?When is the right time to start small talk or begin a conversation?
I'm not interesting or funny so...It's a bit hard
Anyone knows a good way to start?
you should ask your psychiatrist about social anxiety courses in your country.....im in Ireland and we have a course for socially anxious people.....its run by the local psych hospital
 

Similar threads

Top