Ways to overcome fear of talking

[BornGone]

I really struggle with small talk and conversations overall. When strangers start talking to me I mostly smile like an idiot and just say 'yes' or nothing at all.
This way I won't ever be able to go on a date or find new friends. But my mind goes blank everytime. I just feel like I bore people or weird them out.
Just what do people talk about? Preparing doesn't help, I already tried that.
My therapist is a bit feed up with me because I don't really engage in small talk or do anything about this problem. But where do I start?When is the right time to start small talk or begin a conversation?
I'm not interesting or funny so...It's a bit hard
Anyone knows a good way to start?

 

[calypso]

Hiya. I used to be the same so I would go to parties and stand in the corner not talking. So I decided I would observe what others did, come home and practise in front of the mirror. I realised that most people ask the other one about their life. I would prepare ahead of time things that I could answer and work on that. You say you aren't interesting or funny, most people aren't funny. I bet you are more interesting than you think. What do you do for a living?

 

[BornGone]

Hiya. I used to be the same so I would go to parties and stand in the corner not talking. So I decided I would observe what others did, come home and practise in front of the mirror. I realised that most people ask the other one about their life. I would prepare ahead of time things that I could answer and work on that. You say you aren't interesting or funny, most people aren't funny. I bet you are more interesting than you think. What do you do for a living?

I'm still a student and just quit my part-time job about a few months back because they started to bully me. I can't defend or stand up for myself and yeah so I worked in retail and watched my coworkers when they were talking with the costumers but it just felt weird when I tried to copy it... and there was just so much I couldn't cover like when costumers made jokes and waited for a follow up joke by me
It was a disaster

 

[Okie Cavies]

borngone, I can really identify with this. I'm terrified of interacting with people. It has helped me more than I can say to have someone 'normal' to watch - someone who is generally polite and gets along well with everyone else. I watch this person and imitate their actions in situations where I feel panicked.

 

[Zackthemaniac]

Basically asking questions is the key. Just get them to keep talking about themselves and eventually they get around to asking you about yours. Try to get a flow going.

 

[karl7]

I really struggle with small talk and conversations overall. When strangers start talking to me I mostly smile like an idiot and just say 'yes' or nothing at all.
This way I won't ever be able to go on a date or find new friends. But my mind goes blank everytime. I just feel like I bore people or weird them out.
Just what do people talk about? Preparing doesn't help, I already tried that.
My therapist is a bit feed up with me because I don't really engage in small talk or do anything about this problem. But where do I start?When is the right time to start small talk or begin a conversation?
I'm not interesting or funny so...It's a bit hard
Anyone knows a good way to start?

you should ask your psychiatrist about social anxiety courses in your country.....im in Ireland and we have a course for socially anxious people.....its run by the local psych hospital

 

[karl7]

you should ask your psychiatrist about social anxiety courses in your country.....im in Ireland and we have a course for socially anxious people.....its run by the local psych hospital

also there is this website.....www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f12/
I find it helpful