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Way to be a good person again?

H

hey_hey

New member
Joined
Oct 21, 2008
Messages
3
Hello all, I have been feeling down for the past few months, and alot of it stems from guilt. I have done some really stupid stuff in my life. I'm a 25 year old guy. I had a weird childhood, and between the ages of 10 - 14 I think I was a pretty bad kid. The 2 things I feel most guilt about are #1 hurting a couple animals when I was 11. I may have killed a cat for no reason, (hopefully it lived) and I killed a bird. I think I just did it to feel what it was like. I never hurt an animal again after this. And #2 I had a homosexually relationship with a 35 year old man when I was 14. I am and have been totally straight since that age. I think I was just experimenting. I also attempetd suicide when I was 18. I just can't seem to get over the guilt of hurting the animals. I just want to do whatever it takes to make it right, is that possible? If I spend 1 day a week volunteering at animal shelters for the rest of my life, will it make up for it? I just hate myself for doing these things. Although I've never hurt a person, and have been quite kind to people in general my whole life, I just feel like such a bad person. Do I deserve to be happy again? Can I make amends somehow?

thanx for listening,
 
H

hey_hey

New member
Joined
Oct 21, 2008
Messages
3
oh yeah, I forgot to mention another thing I feel like a complete idiot about. Is having an addiction to online porn and masturbation since age 14...I really want to quit for good.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
What you must realise is that you are looking at the actions of a kid who went off the rails for a while with the mind and responsibility of an adult. That tends to put things out of proportion. Helping out at an animal shelter may help, perhaps joining an organization that teaches kids how to care for animals would help you.

As for porn & masturbation it depends on how you define addiction. If it's truly describable as an addiction then a good therapist would help.
 
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