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Wanting time alone: selfish?

Alone time: is it selfish?

  • No, it’s not.

    Votes: 6 100.0%
  • Yes, it is.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters


New member
May 9, 2021

in the past, my dad met a woman. We will call her Anna. Anna and my father seemed to be spending a lot of time together while I wasn’t at his place. And to clear that up, my parents are divorced . One day, he decided it was a good idea to introduce me to her (without me knowing that we were going to meet that day). I accepted it (which was hard because I wasn’t mentally prepared) and went along with it. She seemed pretty nice, we talked and decided to go for a walk for some casual “get to know each other” time.

My father told me about her before. He said that she has a pretty good job, but she’s spoiled. Her past marriage ended, because her husband died unexplainably. They would go on lots of luxurious trips together during their time as a married couple. After a couple of months of grief, she found my dad. And trust me, I want him to be happy, more than anything.

in the past days, though, she has been a little weird. I noticed at the store that she likes to pick out a lot of stuff to buy, only to toss it in the basket for my dad to later pay for. She wanders of alone and finds the things that are necessary for her.

today, she texted my father with a very unexpected message. My dad had bought a cream for our mosquito bite rashes (because of the walk we were out on) and he texted her “I bought it for you guys”. She got really angry at that, and said “Your daughter’s (me) bites are much more worse than me. As soon as it comes to me, I’m not as important”. I didn’t understand what that meant, but it was shocking. Then she went on saying stuff like “you have a sickening relationship with your daughter, it’s not normal and she always feels bad about you. She’s not standing up for her role as a daughter, she’s more like a mother.” I assume she though this because I often said I wanted what’s best for my dad and I always help him around the house. She always too says that “nothing is too expensive, there’s just not enough money, and men are the ones made to pay”. I do not appreciate the way she talks about my dad.

So anyways, they had a fight about the way she was acting while I was here. It got physical and she started crying. I had only known her for 3 days by this stage, so going through all of this was really not how I anticipated on getting to know her.

And this wasn’t your typical, normal fight. They were really aggressive against one another.

suffering from having to see my dad and real mom fight as a kid has really affected the way I feel now. When Anna and my dad got physically violent, I got taken back to that terrible time of my life. It has marked me.

right in this very moment, after the fight, they’re having makeup s*x. I can’t believe it. Anna and my dad are acting just like how he and my real mom did. It’s really hard having to hear them fight and in the next moment have s*x. I tried closing the door and everything but it’s not working.

my point is; I want to spend two or three days alone for myself. These past days, filled with all this drama, has caused too much stress and anxiety on my behalf. And with all the other nerve wracking stress revolving school, I can’t take this too. My mom is currently not home so I want to spend my alone time at her apartment by myself. I don’t know if this is selfish, but I really didn’t want to get to know her like this. She’s nice, and I’ve given her a chance and I’ve also been quite nice to her. But I just need it. What should I do?

Please help.


Well-known member
Feb 27, 2020
Nashua NH
Please go and spend some time alone to clear your head of this mess! You can get to know your Dads girlfriend more some other time. xo, j

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