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want to tell my story from the very first day of my school life to present- dealing with depression

B

Big Boar

Active member
Joined
Feb 11, 2017
Messages
29
want to tell my story from the very first day of my school life to present- dealing with depression

so i look through all my entire life from the very first day of my school- the nursery to the last day of my collage the graduation, to the day i start working, to the day i resign and the present. it was quite a surprising!- my entire school like if actually shit! there's not a single day on my school that is happy, my classmates are treating me like shit, i never had a single friend, the only happy moments i have is my experience on playstation 1 and 2 gaming, that at least makes me feel grateful that i was born to this world. because of this it becomes my habit to become... its like i'm avoiding my classmates like im the only one on the classroom, its like i never talk to my classmates
except to my teacher so if the teacher never called my name im pretty much quiet through the whole time as if i can't talk, and i keep playing playstation 1 and 2 after the
school time its my only "Happy time" this is continued until collage, then i started become depressed on late collage period. im starting to become anxious,worried, when i'm around my classmates. for some reason i suddenly got interested on cartooning and manga and i start practicing, and i got improve much after a year of study
finally i graduated which is surprising. what is more surprising is- i got a job that is not related to my course, i become a book illustrator. my father is bit disappointed for this, it seems like i wasted money on collage tuition.
so i got a job, sadly i have to take the depression with me, so everyday i endure it with help of medicine. my mother told me to hide my illness to my coworkers
becausee i might get fired because of it. sadly not everyone on work are being nice to me.
i become anxious and i feel self loathe or inferior when my superiors and others are being nice to me. im not talkative unless they ask me
then i resign spending the rest of the day on room improving my drawing skills luckily my depression doesn't seem to be that worst. so yeah "reminiscing" and realize my connection to people for 99% of my life is
sucks! never had good social life. just want to voice out thank you
 
K

KaylaJo

Member
Joined
Nov 23, 2017
Messages
6
Hey you!
I just read your thread and I really feel so identified with you. My time in school SUCKED so much haha. I also hated my classmates and I’ve always been the weirdo (just because I’m not a very social person and because I dye my hair of funny colors LOL). I suffered from bullying since I was 7 years old, and I think that is one of the reasons I’m always isolated of society. I refugee myself on games too (a lot of league of legends tho) and on Netflix series. I know what it feels like to suffer from depression, so (as cliché as it sounds), know you’re not alone, and if you ever want to share feelings, ideas, experiences or whatever, I’ll be happy to chat.
Cheers my friend!!!!
 

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