Want to kill myself

[Micky]

NO BODY UNDERSTAND. THE DOCTORS ARE NOT HELPING ANYMORE AND I AM SICK OF FIGHTING THIS DEPRESSION AND ALL THESE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.

I OVERDOSED A MONTH OR SO AGO AND ENDED UP IN HOSPITAL THEN GOT DETAINED FOR WEEKS.

AND IM NOT AFRAID TO TRY A SUICIDE AGAIN BUT ONE THAT ACTUALLY WORKS.

I WANT TO DIE.

I HATE LIFE AND HAVE NO REASON TO BE HERE. WHAT IS THE POINT IN LIFE ITS SUCH A WASTE OF TIME AND PAIN.

 

[Lady Summer Isles]

Hi Micky
I'm so sorry you feel this bad. I too am battling at the moment and have been suicidal for the last 6 weeks or so. Had a failed attempt about then. The only thing i can say is that i'm just taking each day slowly and i mean literally half an hour at a time. I'm trying to distract myself as much as possible. I know the docs and cpn's don't help - i'm in the same position. There must be something or someone in your life to hold onto. When i broke down in front of my husband a few nights ago he said that if i killed myself then he would too. He's not the sort of person who would say that and it quite scared me to hear him talk like that. In my head i just thought that in time he would get over my death, but now i don't feel that i can take the risk that he may do what he said. I don't think he was saying it casually. My suicidal thoughts are still with me every day at the moment.
PLEASE TRY AND FIND SOMETHING WORTH HOLDING ONTO. I spent all day posting on here last week just to get me through that day and i've started a private journal of my own just to get stuff out of my head.
I have not been on the site that long but i have seen that many people on here care about you. Will check in later in the day to see how you are.
Tannith

 

[JETBOY]

poor micky

dearest micky ,you talk of wanting to die ,as if you think it may be some great place ,you cannot know of death and what it holds ,in my youth i
tryed to die 3 times ,and indeed if my life were mine to forfit ,i would die
today ,without fear of who or what awaited me ,but if you were looking for
peace and a restful place for your soul to dwell in ,think again ,it could
be a place far worse than you are now ,the nightmare of our chosen
existance here may be a cakewalk compared to what the viscious darkness
of volintary death may hold for us ,if you were to die even though i dont know you ,i would feel a pain so great i would fall to my knees knowing
i had lost a freind ,and that another warrior had stumbled in its fight against
these terrible things we carry ,stay alive micky and show the foul stinking demons that you are stronger than they are ,you are typing here they are not ,if on your journey you come across a warrior ,slaying demons as he walks on into his future ,he may stand with his arm outstrecthed in freindship
,shake that hand and walk on ,as you pass by he will protect you from harm
and the urge to harm yourself will pass,,,that warrior will be me ,in my quest
to destroys the very demons that try to take our souls ,
STAND UP MICKY ,TAKE MY HAND I HAVE NO FEAR ,STAY SAFE ,,,,JETBOY

 

[TOONAFISH]

Micky, please dont do it. I like many others know what it feels like to feel there is no alternative. I remember being where you are. I remember thinging fuck this. no one is helping me. Please hang on. we can help by talking on here. i know it is so painful, you have to continue being brave. you are brave. it is hard work. we know how you feel.

do you want to chat?

 

[telemetry9]

I see you love cats Micky - judging from your profile image.

They are great wee animals and I wonder if you have a cat? I find that my feline friend helps me enormously and seems to know when I'm particularly bad.

I've been struggling (as usual) but he reminds me that he needs me. Please think about those you would leave behind Micky. And remember too - life is short. We aren't here for long so we might as well see it through to the end and not let the depression decide when it is our time.

There are lots of people *(feline ones included) who could really use your love and company in the future.

Hold on....You are not alone - even if it seems that way.

robert.

 

[Lady Summer Isles]

Hi Micky
Just wanted to see how you are this evening and send you lots of hugs
Tannith

 

[keepsafe]

Micky

 

[JETBOY]

Cant do email

hi mickey ,in responce to your pm ,i dont know how to send emails ,sorry
the pm i sent back would not work ,if you wanted to message me it would have to be by pm ,anytime if it helps ,,,,,,JETBOY

 

[Micky]

PM problems

Thanks for caring guys...

nearly killed myself today had 3horus or intense suicide thoughts but as soon as the train nearly passed I chickend out so I guess something is keeping me here, not sure what.

I'm trying to hold onto something just cannot seem to find it how to I let people PM me for some reason people cannot PM me please help!!

 

[keepsafe]

So glad you didn;t Micky, glad you are still here.

Can you talk to someone, please get some professional help

KS

 

[unlucky]

You probably need to delete some of your pms, if you have too many in your inbox you can't receive any more.

 

[Lady Summer Isles]

Hi Micky
Yes I tried to pm you just as well. Hopefully one of the mods may help sort this out.
Was thinking of you in the night, so glad your'e still here.
Stay safe
Tannith

 

[telemetry9]

Micky.

I'm not arrogant enough to say what is happening in your heart and mind. It sounds like the pain of the depression is looking for something to alleviate it. I know we just want it to go away. You're not alone in feeling that pain. We can find ways through it together and help each other in return. So you see - there are reasons to continue living this life.

My friend gave me the SafeTalk phone number. For when we are feeling suicidal. Lifeline: 0808 8088000. I'm giving it to you. Please talk to them.

The pain WILL pass but you've got to talk to someone - don't do it on your own. This time might seem pointless but you are learning and gaining something. Don't erase yourself - you are more valuable than you might think you are.

Lifeline: 0808 8088000
you're not alone
robert.

 

[JETBOY]

Hey mickey

ive got your pm again today ,im not good on computers ,this is just a life line for me ,my daughter set this up with her email address so any mail i recieved
could be seen by her ,and hiding my pain from my family is of the utmost importance to me ,if you want to pm me anytime ,thats great ,i would help you all i could ,but ive tryed to pm you twice ,and it says you dont want or cant recieve pm,s for some reason ,im glad my words were helpful to you
stay safe ,you have all the weapons within yourself to carry on this fight
but you will not see them ,whilst you let the darkness make you blind ,you
must close your eyes and see with your mind ,i wont let you fall if the demon
strikeS at you i will take the blow ,so you may carry on ,,,,JETBOY

 

[DELATEXT]

it is very sad you feel so bad but please accept that life is worth living and hope abides you are a unique person hope you get help