Want to help my partner

T

Thormundo

New member
Joined
Aug 16, 2018
Messages
2
#1
My partner has a huge history with mental illness.

He was officially diagnosed over 10 years ago with depression/anxiety.

Since then, he's displaying signs that suggest this isn't the case. He's been to numerous psychiatrists and counsellors with a range of possible illnesses from bipolar with mania to borderline personality disorder.

Although, as the person who sees his behaviour the most and reading so much into these illnesses, I don't feel they match him and neither does he.

He experiences severe highs and lows. When he's high, I struggle to understand him, he talks so quickly. When he's low, suicide can be a consideration for him. He has racing, obsessive thoughts to the point he cannot sleep. He loves building Pcs and playing games on them, but everytime he changes something, he has to change the whole system.

He struggles to explain why, only that the previous equipment may "link" back to him. He is in no way a conspiracy theorist, and he knows how crazy he is being but he can't help it. It's got to the point he wants to change his name to have a clean slate in his mind.

In terms of his day to day behaviour, he is quite anti-social. He can cut close people out without a second thought. He struggles with any emotion, it's like he only thinks with logic. The only thing that seems to have helped is us getting a dog.

This is spiralling quite quickly and I don't know how to help or even where to start. He's currently on a waiting list for help but has been for over 2 years and I feel like there's nowhere for us to turn.
 
Deadheading

Deadheading

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
152
#2
He is really lucky to have found you. I have not officially been diagnosed with BPD, but I think I meet the criteria. Like many people with BPD, I have great difficulty maintaining relationships, and like your partner, I don't hesitate to remove people from my life. I have no tolerance for the stupidity of others.

All I can suggest is hang in there because he is in a personal hell. People with BPD have abandonment issues. With me, I interpret abandonment as betrayal, and I get very angry when I believe someone is betraying me.
 
T

Thormundo

New member
Joined
Aug 16, 2018
Messages
2
#3
Thank you. We've been together almost 5 years now but it's not been without it's difficulties. I just wish there was something we can do to make things easier for him.
He is exactly the same, cannot stand stupidity in the slightest.
Yes, his dad left when he was young. He says it doesn't bother him and for the most part I believe him, I just think this has affected him subconsciously.
Thank you for giving me your insight, it can be difficult for him to explain how he feels so I appreciate hearing how others feel.
 
bellaruby208

bellaruby208

New member
Joined
Aug 18, 2018
Messages
3
#4
My partner has a huge history with mental illness.

He was officially diagnosed over 10 years ago with depression/anxiety.

Since then, he's displaying signs that suggest this isn't the case. He's been to numerous psychiatrists and counsellors with a range of possible illnesses from bipolar with mania to borderline personality disorder.

Although, as the person who sees his behaviour the most and reading so much into these illnesses, I don't feel they match him and neither does he.

He experiences severe highs and lows. When he's high, I struggle to understand him, he talks so quickly. When he's low, suicide can be a consideration for him. He has racing, obsessive thoughts to the point he cannot sleep. He loves building Pcs and playing games on them, but everytime he changes something, he has to change the whole system.

He struggles to explain why, only that the previous equipment may "link" back to him. He is in no way a conspiracy theorist, and he knows how crazy he is being but he can't help it. It's got to the point he wants to change his name to have a clean slate in his mind.

In terms of his day to day behaviour, he is quite anti-social. He can cut close people out without a second thought. He struggles with any emotion, it's like he only thinks with logic. The only thing that seems to have helped is us getting a dog.

This is spiralling quite quickly and I don't know how to help or even where to start. He's currently on a waiting list for help but has been for over 2 years and I feel like there's nowhere for us to turn.
Thank God he has you. You hear the stories of people who were left to struggle with their mental illness on their own, and it just breaks your heart. So how wonderful of you to be there to support him and help him through this time. I think it's great you're working so diligently to find him the RIGHT help, too. But I think along the way, you have to be kind to yourself, and make sure YOU'RE getting the right support too. You can only give him so much guidance, maybe seeing a counselor yourself might provide you with some insight on how to continue helping him.
 

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