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want to get wasted

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TOONAFISH

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Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
2,686
Location
Bonnie Scotland
been drinking all nite, but dont feel drunk. i feel like i want to take stuff. i know i could get out of the house, and head down town, my hubby would prob come with me. i havnt taken any e's or coke (apart from a line here and there) for 7 years. it has been hard sticking to it but i feel like im ready to do it. it would be such a good feeling but what a downer the next day. i just want to feel totally happy. is that so wrong???
 
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TOONAFISH

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Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
2,686
Location
Bonnie Scotland
does this feeling ever go after you have been taking drugs for so long?
 
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skyblue

Guest
Hey Toona,

So glad to hear you made it through the night.

I still get very strong urges to self distruct and infact was feeling just the same as you last night. I wanted to buy some coke, but couldn't tell my partner because I know he wouldn't have been happy with me at all, even just to mention it to him. I managed to keep it quiet dispite being on a high and I didn't buy any.

It's strange isn't it,.. whenever I'm going through an episode, I want drugs, alcohol, anything to smoke, etc. When I'm feeling very well I'm a health freak !
Are you the same ? Or doesn't it matter whether or not you're feeling well ?

I abused drugs from when I was 14yrs old - 24yrs, pretty much everyday. Then dabbled every now and then until I was 28.

I hate the stuff really, because it messes us up in a very big way.

I'm so glad we both managed to get through the night without self medicating.

Take it easy Toona :flowers::flowers:xx
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,626
Well done Toona and Skybluexxxx
I am just the same go on a path of self destruct when I am having an episode - I tend to take more prescrition drugs and drink than anything else though - Just anything to self destruct - self harming ways etc. I am so glad you both made it through.

KS
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

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Nov 2, 2009
Messages
2,275
Location
SCOTLAND
Well done for getting through last night without that stuff (y)
 
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TOONAFISH

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Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
2,686
Location
Bonnie Scotland
thanks guys.

i have just been to the gym so feeling great. just away to start on the booze again tho. well it is sat nite after all x
 
bulbie

bulbie

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Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
18,479
Location
Ayrshire
Yeah, I second that. I have a problem with alcohol, so when I was dumped in 2005, I made a pact with myself never to drink from that point on. Apart from a cheeky vimto last christmas, and a glass of wine a few months ago, I haven't had anything since. Saturday night or not! Still get an overwhelming desire to go into self destruct mode whenever I'm anywhere near alcohol though.
 
Cal

Cal

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Founding Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
341
Location
South West Scotland
i used to always resort to drugs when i was feeling down, these days i still get tempted but i've turned it down even at some really harsh moments. I still have trouble with drinking, last time i got dumped i went to a bar by myself because i had nowhere else to buy drink, i then proceeded to drink through over £60 (and it's a really cheap bar) of shots and doubles. I have no idea how i didn't wake up in hospital, instead i'd just managed to lose most of my memory from that night, throw up in my bin, soak my trousers and shoes (still yet to work out how) and get mud all up the back of a good shirt (i can work that one out though). I keep regretting it when i do stuff like that. i'll usually also start smoking far more at bad times so really if i'm coughing a lot for no apparent reason it's usually a sign i've been in a shit mood.
 
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Chase

Active member
Joined
Feb 28, 2010
Messages
42
Location
The Grim North
IME its all to easy to get wrecked when shit goes sour. round here you can get whatever drugs you want delivered to your house faster than a pizza, be it coke, e's, weed, mdma or whatever. when alls said and done tho it will NOT make you feel better, itll make your mind think that it feels better for the duration that the said drugs in effect but then once it wears off, at best youll be back in the situation you were before you bought it and only a LOT more out of pocket. IME music is key. it can influence your mood more than ANY chemical/substance can, on the most part its free, and it wont make you feel like shit the next day. get some good tunes goin and kick back. the diversity of music enables you to alter you mood in any way possible depending on the music you listen to. you wanna get a good vide going and start buzzin? then guarenteed youll know of a few tracks that personally will get you going, same goes for it you wanna chill out and kick back, youll also know tunes for this. at the same time you can find new tunes by different artists or remixes or whatever that ultimately give you the same effect, plus you get a buzz from discovering a new artist/artists/tunes that really do it for you. the whole music thing is more of a thing that ive found works for me. i know it works for a few of my troubled friends also so whats to say it wont work for you?

p.s. just dont play some stupid happyhardcore tunes that you have to munch half a dozen e' for it to sound good ;)

happy days and good luck with it all.
 
gazza

gazza

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Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
198
Location
England
Music has defo saved my life, it's my religion. It opens its arms to anyone and is truely without prejudice. I have self destruct written all over me from when i wake up to when i sleep and even in my dreams i get toasted and wake up feeling guilty. I've no idea how i stop myself, i guess from knowing that i'll just feel even worse afterwards and the slope is at such an angle now that one more slip and i'm gone for good. Respect for every second that you fight the urge!!!!

Also, before my leg started to give me jip, when ever i thought about getting high i'd make myself do 10 press ups. After a few weeks you can bench press a battleship, turn the negative in to a positive. i know that's easier said than done though.
 
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dib4uk

dib4uk

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Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
2,190
Location
south london,england
I can relate to what the original poster said about alcholic drinks. Im currently on a self destruct and feeling very low and i want to drink untill i proper self harm and for the continual pain to go away, but it never does. Im struggling with the impulses not to drink, although i had one today, i felt like i did last weekend and drinking the whole day away.....


sorry for offloading i dont really do that here that much.
 
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