• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

want to die die die die

RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
stepdad has had heart bypass, mum was meant to go with him but didnt after she found out about what he has been up to, aka sexually assulting me and sending innappropriate sexual messages.... tenancy is in stepdads name so means mum will have to move out, she lost her home before now she has to all over again, its fucking shit, she is not coping. she is working and telling people he hasnt had his op yet, the car is in his name too, everything is bollox it really is everything is so messed up and why should we be living this hell... he caused this not us yet we are suffering. also in the police video interview i told them mum was at a friends when he sexually assulted me at my own flat but i realised after that mum was home at hers all along and i mixed up the weekends so now i look like a mother fucking liar, i cant see him going to prison which means he will live 3 min walk away from me, fucking great, the restraining order may mean he can keep his home he just cant come near my flat, fuck this shit, im done i cant support myself let alone mum too, this is too hard i wish i was never born, i want to be dead, die forever, whats the point in living an unhappy life i do not understand one bit. unless people have been through this they dont seem to understand they just tell you do this do that, when deep down all you really waant to do is fucking die and give up and fucking die die die
 
TiredTina

TiredTina

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
40,757
Location
West Sussex, England
You're absolutely right, we cant understand how you are feeling because we arent going through it. All we can do is be here for you and we are, Im sure I speak for everyone on that. I hope youre not doubting whether you did the right thing because you had to do it, you couldnt let it go, it wasnt fair on you or your mum.

Yes things will be difficult but that doesnt mean that they wont work out, they will. You and your mum have each other and that is the most important thing.

Please carry on talking on here, dont bottle things up.

Sending lots of hugs

TT xx :hug1: :hug1: :hug1:
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
You're absolutely right, we cant understand how you are feeling because we arent going through it. All we can do is be here for you and we are, Im sure I speak for everyone on that. I hope youre not doubting whether you did the right thing because you had to do it, you couldnt let it go, it wasnt fair on you or your mum.

Yes things will be difficult but that doesnt mean that they wont work out, they will. You and your mum have each other and that is the most important thing.

Please carry on talking on here, dont bottle things up.

Sending lots of hugs

TT xx :hug1: :hug1: :hug1:
thanks TT xxxxxxxxxxxx

:hug1: hugs back at ya

and yes i am doubting myself very muchly, mum was so happy before i told her i didnt realise how happy at all until i told her about all this... idk what to do next apart from die that is a clear thing in my mind of what i wish to do
 
mami5

mami5

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2012
Messages
11,283
Location
North West Wales
Hope both you and your mom can get through this. I know it's hard, and no, I don't understand, but I truly believe things will work out for you. The way to hurt him most is for him to see you sorting your life out. If you were to die, then there would be no justice and he would have won. I'm sure you don't want that. Please try and stay strong through this hard and difficult time. :hug:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,750
Location
Europe
So sorry you and your mum had to go through all that :low:

Sending hugs and lots of strength :hug:

I'm sure you're stronger than you think you know
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
Hope both you and your mom can get through this. I know it's hard, and no, I don't understand, but I truly believe things will work out for you. The way to hurt him most is for him to see you sorting your life out. If you were to die, then there would be no justice and he would have won. I'm sure you don't want that. Please try and stay strong through this hard and difficult time. :hug:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
thanks mami xxxxxxxxxxxx :hug: im trying to stay strong ive had enough and its only just began :(
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
34,906
Location
Mordor
I think you were brave to be honest. Hopefully your future will be better now. :BLAH:
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
So sorry you and your mum had to go through all that :low:

Sending hugs and lots of strength :hug:

I'm sure you're stronger than you think you know
thanks you soooo much :hug: i just dont know anymore
 
Parissa

Parissa

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 22, 2014
Messages
234
Location
Bedford
It is very hard for our mum's to know about our problems and experiences and illnesses. It is very stressful for them, but they would rather know. Your mum would rather know the truth and support you. That is what mum's are for.

All of the problems your mum is now facing like the tennancy not being in her name, car, it is difficult for her but we all seem to pull through these things. Many people in the world are struggling with such things, my mum also is going through her own stuff. It can feel very unfair and impossible to deal with. The pressure we feel on their behalf as well as how they feel. But we do pull through. Solutions are found. Things come together at the last minute. Things work out. Ideas come. It will sort out, it is just stressful for you both right now and there seem to be lots of obstacles in the way of peace.

The case, you having muddled your story, well i have been told by a police officer friend that if someone's story is dead perfect, then they are usually lying. If they get muddled, they are often telling the truth, so don't think the worst. You might be ok there.

You have a lot going on right now so i am not surprised you are feeling suicidal. When overwhelmed and when things seem impossible without a solution it is automatic for me to want to opt out of life because you just cannot cope, cannot see a way forward. I think at this time you have to trust that somehow it will all work out. You have to believe that you and your mum are strong enough to get through whatever life throws at you. This is life unfortunately. For many of us it is not easy and it can seem like one thing after another sometimes. I feel the same. But moments of peace do come and then we rest, until the next stuff comes along!

Love Parissa

:hug:
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
It is very hard for our mum's to know about our problems and experiences and illnesses. It is very stressful for them, but they would rather know. Your mum would rather know the truth and support you. That is what mum's are for.

All of the problems your mum is now facing like the tennancy not being in her name, car, it is difficult for her but we all seem to pull through these things. Many people in the world are struggling with such things, my mum also is going through her own stuff. It can feel very unfair and impossible to deal with. The pressure we feel on their behalf as well as how they feel. But we do pull through. Solutions are found. Things come together at the last minute. Things work out. Ideas come. It will sort out, it is just stressful for you both right now and there seem to be lots of obstacles in the way of peace.

The case, you having muddled your story, well i have been told by a police officer friend that if someone's story is dead perfect, then they are usually lying. If they get muddled, they are often telling the truth, so don't think the worst. You might be ok there.

You have a lot going on right now so i am not surprised you are feeling suicidal. When overwhelmed and when things seem impossible without a solution it is automatic for me to want to opt out of life because you just cannot cope, cannot see a way forward. I think at this time you have to trust that somehow it will all work out. You have to believe that you and your mum are strong enough to get through whatever life throws at you. This is life unfortunately. For many of us it is not easy and it can seem like one thing after another sometimes. I feel the same. But moments of peace do come and then we rest, until the next stuff comes along!

Love Parissa

:hug:
thanks so much

love judazz xx
 
TiredTina

TiredTina

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
40,757
Location
West Sussex, England
I am a mum to 2 daughters and believe me if something like this was happening to one of them I would definitely want to know. Im sure your mum is extremely upset, thats only natural but there is no way that she would have wanted you to keep this to yourself. I promise you that this is a fact, a mums love for her children is completely different to any other type of love.

TT xx :hug:
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
I am a mum to 2 daughters and believe me if something like this was happening to one of them I would definitely want to know. Im sure your mum is extremely upset, thats only natural but there is no way that she would have wanted you to keep this to yourself. I promise you that this is a fact, a mums love for her children is completely different to any other type of love.

TT xx :hug:
thanks TT i guess your right she did want me to tell her and is glad i told her, but im making her so unhappy. life is crap we been through all this before with my real dad when she found out he had been sexually assulting me too when i was a kid x :hug:
 
TiredTina

TiredTina

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
40,757
Location
West Sussex, England
thanks TT i guess your right she did want me to tell her and is glad i told her, but im making her so unhappy. life is crap we been through all this before with my real dad when she found out he had been sexually assulting me too when i was a kid x :hug:
See bit in bold above - YOU are not making her unhappy, your stepdad did that. Your mum doesnt deserve to be with a man like that so this is the best thing for her as well no matter how unhappy she is feeling at the moment.

xxx
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
8,449
Location
Another planet
Dont know what to say but just felt needed to say something. You are right no one can know what it feels like to be you. Can only say again what others have already said. Really want you to get through this safely. I know you dont know me but i do care. Just sending hugs xxx:hug1:
 
Top