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Annelis

Annelis

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
104
Location
Slovakia
I had enough stress in my life already. It just happened that so many things in anxious about are all happening at once. New term is supposed to start next week. That means new timetable. That means difficult bureaucracy around it. That also means I will have to change my schedule at work. That involves difficult dealing with people and it's always very difficult to plan my timetables so that I can manage everything. Also, I'm supposed to do some actual teaching at actual school as a part of my studying. I know it must be part of it as I'm studying to be a teacher, but this is going to be for the first time and I will be assessed and it's just very stressful, and also, going to school and dealing with the teachers whose lessons I'll be taking is way more difficult for me than for other classmates of mine. I was experiencing constant fear few days ago already. And on the top of this, an email comes from school, which doesn't have to mean anything serious, but I already experienced, that a similar email to this meant that there were some problems and we had to change what we study or transfer to a different university. Due to my mental problems, I am unable to study at a different university, because that would mean living in a dormitory and I can't do that. And I don't want to give up school. I also don't want to give up my job. I know it doesn't have to mean anything bad. It might just be that they will inform us that we have some new teachers, or that some classes we are taking won't be taught and that we just have to pick something else. I don't know. But my head is full of what if they close the whole university? What if they close the study program I'm studying? What if I have to transfer and live in dormitory? I can't do that so I will be uneducated and unlikely to ever find a full time job I'd like. What if they tell us that the timetables are changing so that we are at the university every day until evening and I won't have time for my part time job (which is the only reason why I haven't fallen apart completely, because I don't want to lose that, so I'm trying to cope.)
Anyway, whatever it is I need to know as soon as possible to deal with stuff at work, and mainly to calm down by finding out it's nothing serious. However, they will tell us on Monday, what's going on. That is what the email said. So I must wait till Monday. That totally sucks because I can't deal with things that were bothering me before. I can't change the timetables because I don't know yet what will happen. I managed to cope most of yesterday when I found out in the morning - again because I had to go to work. But after work, I didn't have the responsibility ahead of me so I didn't manage and I had anxiety attack, my mom is mad at me because she hates when I have anxiety attacks, she thinks I'm doing it on purpose. I just can't imagine how I'll go on for the next 6 days. This not knowing is just horrible.
 
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MinnieMoo

Active member
Joined
Dec 4, 2019
Messages
44
Location
Preston
Oh gosh, I’ve felt this way, it’s horrendous at the time! Could you have an informal chat to one of the teachers to find out what it relates to, they can put your mind at rest that the uni is not closing.

I’m sure you must be really nervous about the teaching. I’ve suffered so bad with nerves speaking to a room full of people that I felt physically really sick. But as soon as I get started I am fine, the nerves and adrenaline also help us to perform the task well, plus the more you do it the easier it will get. Make sure you know your stuff inside out and have note cards with reminders of important things to remember or something.
 
Annelis

Annelis

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
104
Location
Slovakia
Oh gosh, I’ve felt this way, it’s horrendous at the time! Could you have an informal chat to one of the teachers to find out what it relates to, they can put your mind at rest that the uni is not closing.

I’m sure you must be really nervous about the teaching. I’ve suffered so bad with nerves speaking to a room full of people that I felt physically really sick. But as soon as I get started I am fine, the nerves and adrenaline also help us to perform the task well, plus the more you do it the easier it will get. Make sure you know your stuff inside out and have note cards with reminders of important things to remember or something.
My sister studies there too so after yesterday, mom sent her to go find out.. she didn't find anyone who would give her any real info, just one asistent whom she is rather friendly with told her, that she knows nothing, and her office is right next to the office of the dean, so if it was serious, she would have heard something. So yes, I know the university isn't closing, but still, it doesn't mean everything is ok.
About the teaching, what I'm mainly nervous about is that someone will observe and assess my teaching. My part time job is teaching related, though it's just smaller groups or individuals, not whole class, and I manage that ok. I think I would manage the class ok too, but I'm scared of someone observing me and criticizing what I do. Plus if I get bad assessment, it will influence many things.
 
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MinnieMoo

Active member
Joined
Dec 4, 2019
Messages
44
Location
Preston
No one is perfect, if they give you feedback then it might be useful, but also it might not. If you know you are good at what you do and you are trying your best then that’s all that matters. Try to forget they are there and just focus on the kids (or adults) you are teaching.

Try to keep all other stressors as low as you can until this period has passed. Only spend time with people who relax you, get plenty of sleep etc etc. That’s what works for me anyway.
 
Annelis

Annelis

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
104
Location
Slovakia
No one is perfect, if they give you feedback then it might be useful, but also it might not. If you know you are good at what you do and you are trying your best then that’s all that matters. Try to forget they are there and just focus on the kids (or adults) you are teaching.

Try to keep all other stressors as low as you can until this period has passed. Only spend time with people who relax you, get plenty of sleep etc etc. That’s what works for me anyway.
Today I slept more than 10 hours, meaning I didn't have time to study for an exam I have tomorrow (how funny, in all this, I don't stress about such an ordinary thing as an exam anymore 😂)... And I'm enormously tired anyway.
 
Zig Zag

Zig Zag

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 29, 2019
Messages
395
Location
Milton Keynes
Hi Annelis You seem to be suffering from acute anxiety maybe visit your doctor and get help asap?
 
Zig Zag

Zig Zag

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 29, 2019
Messages
395
Location
Milton Keynes
Hi Annelis You seem to be suffering from acute anxiety maybe visit your doctor and get help asap?
 
Annelis

Annelis

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
104
Location
Slovakia
Hi Annelis You seem to be suffering from acute anxiety maybe visit your doctor and get help asap?
If only I had some doctor to visit. I find it almost impossible to find one. My gp is horrible so he wouldn't help me, most of the specialist where I live seem to be cognitive behavioural and that didn't work on me when I tried this kind of therapy before, and one other I found so far said that don't take new people. :(
 
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MinnieMoo

Active member
Joined
Dec 4, 2019
Messages
44
Location
Preston
Is the tiredness caused by your anxiety? Do you have any ideas what type of therapy or support may help you? Is there any way you could pay for a therapist privately out of your part time wages? Or does the uni have a councellor?

You have a lot going on. As zig zag says you need some support and it doesn’t sound like your immediate family are understanding of how you feel.

good luck with the exam :) x
 
Annelis

Annelis

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
104
Location
Slovakia
Is the tiredness caused by your anxiety? Do you have any ideas what type of therapy or support may help you? Is there any way you could pay for a therapist privately out of your part time wages? Or does the uni have a councellor?

You have a lot going on. As zig zag says you need some support and it doesn’t sound like your immediate family are understanding of how you feel.

good luck with the exam :) x
I don't know what the tiredness is from exactly, but it might be part of the anxiety. I remember when there were troubles at the university last time some 2 year ago, but those were real (not like this that I don't know what's going on), I had an anxiety attack in the evening and my best friend only managed to wake me next day at 4 p.m.

We have some psychologists at school, and I went there before, but as I've said all of those are cbt, and it didn't help me much.
I tried looking elsewhere, but I just have no idea where to go and I don't think I'm in a fit state to handle all the stress around making an appointment somewhere where I don't know it.
 
M

MinnieMoo

Active member
Joined
Dec 4, 2019
Messages
44
Location
Preston
Yes that sounds difficult and you must be worried after how stressful it was last time the uni announced changes :-(
 
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