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Voices?

L

Lab rat

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Feb 6, 2020
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I have read a lot of interesting threads on here about voices and wanted to talk a little about mine.

I have 3 types of voices (and visuals) that have made it through my medical firewall.

Type 1: my father. Cancer took his life 9 years ago, but he came back to me. He was a kind, caring man when alive, and continues to be so following his death. He is the helper, he helps me.

type 2: god. To me god takes the form of a short, plump man with glasses and a red and white striped bobble hat. He always carries an iPad which he uses to run the universe. He appears out of nowhere and disappears the same way (usually through doorways). He is pleasant enough and usually will have a chat, but I always have to start it because he is very busy and can’t talk for long before he has to get back to his work

type 3: the Jeremy Kyle show. Years back, I was lying on the sofa watching jk, and these sound waves came out of the tv at me. Since then, the show including the audience are in my head. This is what the pdoc calls commentary hallucinations. It’s like I am the subject of the show and I can hear them commenting on what I’m thinking/doing/going to do. This can be a problem for me, but over the years ive learned to handle them.

I like hearing my father, and god doesn’t show up much, but he is pretty neutral. I could live without the commentary, that can get pretty annoying.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Thanks for sharing your experiences, that's very interesting.
I have 3 types of voices (and visuals) that have made it through my medical firewall.
Does that mean you're on medication yet you still see visual 'hallucinations' for lack of a better word? Do you see these visuals with your eyes or are these images in your mind?

Type 1: my father. Cancer took his life 9 years ago, but he came back to me.
How long after your father passed did you begin to see and hear him? Was he the first voice you heard it was it another?

type 2: god. To me god takes the form of a short, plump man with glasses and a red and white striped bobble hat.
He sounds like a short and plump 'where's Wally?' lol. My voice (singular) pretended to be God for a while but all he said to me was that he was going to kill me in my sleep because I refused to do it myself. I'm not religious so I didn't really believe him for long and then he changed into something else soon after.

type 3: the Jeremy Kyle show.
I don't know if this is similar to your experience but once the TV spoke to me directly, I was watching a show called Leverage and a character called Hardison said something about a "specialist" and that I was in a "grey zone", my voice could also say what the TV was saying at the exact same time, no delay whatsoever, like he had the script in front of him and was reading from it. All I know is voices can do some pretty weird stuff when it comes to sound waves. My voice also made fans talk to me, like someone was stood behind the fan talking into it, he could seem to do it with any type of vibrations in the air, the washing machine on spin, a tumble dryer and the sound of my footsteps on gravel etc.
 
L

Lab rat

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Thanks for sharing your experiences too! Yes, I see both my dad and god as I do other people. (Where’s wally, except fat and more beady eyes is accurate. He has a tight blonde, receding haircut too)

it started immediately after my dad passed, in fact, to me he didn’t die, just changed locations. No the first voice I heard called himself “Gerry” and he was the devil! He told me certain people were evil and I had to kill them. Fkd with my head big time! I remember leverage, I loved that show.

I only hear Jeremy Kyle berating me and the studio audience the same. I hear it inside my head, through my ears like I hear everyone else. And through anything electronic that has a speaker. My mind is very creative in finding new ways to torture me!
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Well I'm glad at least some of your voices are good and not completely negative like my voice or 'head-mate' as I like to call him. It's interesting you see them as clearly as you would see other people, mine never figured out how to do that thanks goodness, he would have taken his efforts to terrorise me to a whole new level if he could do that.

You said about your dad "He is the helper, he helps me.", how does he help you? I've found voices can be really helpful when they want to be and I've been reading a book about just how helpful they've been to humans over the centuries but at the moment mine is more of a hindrance to me that sticks his nose into my business all to often.
 
L

Lab rat

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Sorry to hear you’ve had such a hard time.

I meant he helps me make good decisions. My dad is the filter that I put all the shit through. Thankfully, since he has been there, I haven’t been locked up once and the “wheels” haven’t come off my sanity. Ironically my dad has done more to help me than all the pills put together.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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I haven’t been locked up once and the “wheels” haven’t come off my sanity. Ironically my dad has done more to help me than all the pills put together.
I believe a psychiatrist would think anyone who hears voices or sees people who aren't there have questionable sanity so it's very ironic that yours keeps you sane, it's quite remarkable in my opinion. I hope he continues to be a force for good in your life and hopefully offsets the bad voices.

Don't your voices ever push you to come off medication? Mine tries all the time, he says it's not fair and I should just let him run wild and do whatever he pleases, like that's ever going to happen. I have the upper hand in the relationship now and I'm not giving it up for anything, certainly not for his empty promises that he won't torture and terrorise me again, he can't even shut up for five minutes at his current low volume so I'm not going to let him have his old volume back which was way too high.
 
L

Lab rat

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I have a habit of coming off my meds all by myself. The majority I’m happy to stay with on my current regime. The majority! I’m already off the chlorpromazine (hence my not being sure what the dose should be)

they make me mentally slow and make me slur my words, put another way, I can’t work on chlorpromazine. I hated the pills and I am non compliant with them.

the hallucinations I get, I am used to and can control (up to a point) I guess I have had years to get used to it and my coping strategies work.

besides, the chlorpromazine “waters down” dad, and I don’t want that! God pops in to see me, usually only for a few seconds, he is so busy with his own stuff on the iPad that if I don’t say hi, he will just be on his way!

Jeremy Kyle and his studio audience are probably the most disturbing of all my symptoms. It makes it difficult to concentrate and hard to think. At work sometimes I have to deal with people and sometimes in groups. It can be a very bad distraction! But I have learned to cope. If I am working in the lab building a prototype or fault finding, I can put earphones in and blast music. Kills the problem dead.
 
J

jed

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Lived with voices that I didn't mind for years.Then they started getting nastier and nastier.Then they shouted 24 hours a day.Had a breakdown and medicated,no voices since.Keep trying different medication till you find the one that suits you.Wouldn't want anyone to go through what I did.
 
L

Lab rat

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Hi Jed, greetings from midlands UK to wherever you are! :) sorry to hear what you went through, but glad you found a way.
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

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@Lab rat found your post to be rather interesting

So I have voices which are devils,
So I wanted to know if you get one that's god do you hear devils at all?
 
L

Lab rat

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@Lab rat found your post to be rather interesting

So I have voices which are devils,
So I wanted to know if you get one that's god do you hear devils at all?
I used to. Not for a long time now. When he finally appeared to me (I had the voice for years before that came about) it was my ex boss! A tall, slender man, blonde hair, bald on top, round spectacles. He wore all black, shoes , trousers, a black polo necked sweatshirt and a black Nehru jacket.

I was completely utterly fooled. I went to confront the real person (not realising I was dealing with a hallucination) I was locked up for a long time.

nowadays I am very suspicious of people and if something they say or do is unexpected, I take a step back and think hard before I act.
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

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I used to. Not for a long time now. When he finally appeared to me (I had the voice for years before that came about) it was my ex boss! A tall, slender man, blonde hair, bald on top, round spectacles. He wore all black, shoes , trousers, a black polo necked sweatshirt and a black Nehru jacket.

I was completely utterly fooled. I went to confront the real person (not realising I was dealing with a hallucination) I was locked up for a long time.

nowadays I am very suspicious of people and if something they say or do is unexpected, I take a step back and think hard before I act.
Cool I appreciate where you're coming from

Thanks for sharing your experiences
 
L

Lab rat

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Cool I appreciate where you're coming from

Thanks for sharing your experiences
it’s good to have somebody to talk to about things. I find myself living in a “psychotic bubble” I keep it all inside my aura, and all anyone sees is a normal well functioning person, but inside I’m jumping up and down screaming.

I’m like a swan swimming across a lake. Above the water it looks like a statue, below the water, it’s little webbed feet are paddling frantically!

thank you for listening
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

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it’s good to have somebody to talk to about things. I find myself living in a “psychotic bubble” I keep it all inside my aura, and all anyone sees is a normal well functioning person, but inside I’m jumping up and down screaming.

I’m like a swan swimming across a lake. Above the water it looks like a statue, below the water, it’s little webbed feet are paddling frantically!

thank you for listening
I know exactly how you feel
 
Not_here

Not_here

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They're all liars!! Don't listen to 'um

You tell them who runs the show up there

Or else
 
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