voices with tactical hallucinations?

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Notaround713

Member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
14
Location
Houston
#1
Ok so the voices for me are like a force i guess you could say and the hallucinations have lasted close to two years..I really wish i fell into the category of it only lasting a few days.. and its weird, its like a presence or something, i really think i agitated something in my mind at one point and i cant seem to shake it off..tried discontinuing medication, tested feeling anxiety or depression to see if that brings it out so i can figure out ways to avoid/ignore this...i think voices may be different for some people. mine dont do much talking. i get messages or feelings of wanting to harm me and it continously does that - this can effect me on work days. i had to switch to a job where im contracted and work the days i want. i now dictate my life to the voice. its definitely turned into psychosis.

how do people even work out at the gym? i had to run three miles having tactical hallucinations where my eyes were not under my control and i was hearing things. it completely ruins the workout and the music i was trying to listen to. socializing sucks at parties because i hide all this and will stare off for a second (trying to stop that)

the tactical hallucinations consist of my eyes being pulled out, my senses feeling absolute pain, burning sensations, my memories being removed to create dark hallucinations....how is that even a thing, some of it is silly.
im in my early 30's, and this hit me out of the blue 2 years ago. i never had any kind of mental issue and my personal traumas or life really hasnt been to bad. I'm wondering what gives and has anyone experienced this? As i write this i have tactical hallucinations and in pain. the scary thing is this thing has ahold of my senses, if i think im going to take avian..it eases up immediatly. even before i take it..how does it know im really going to take it? just a mess.
 
F

freyjafiore

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2018
Messages
2
#2
First off, I feel for you. The tactile hallucinations are hard to deal with to begin with let alone if you are feeling physical pain with them. My tactile hallucinations were very pleasurable at times and I conditioned myself into feeling a certain way about them - which probably added some shitty feedback loop where I could bring them on by feeling. Seroquel helped immensely. Even when I experience them now (11 years, 2-3 months shy of 7 years sobriety, ~14 months anti-psychotic free) it's still hard to centre myself absolute physical reality. Meditation, tapping along to a song, mindlessly wiggling fingers, art and music, and a really long sleep help me to feel less susceptible to falling prey to my own trap.
Good luck
May you be happy and well :)
 
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Notaround713

Member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
14
Location
Houston
#3
Thank you for the response freyjafiore and definitely inspiring story! Im praying habitual meditation and exercise help ease some of this. I pray the hallucinations turn into something positive instead of something dark but i dont know if that something i can just order.
 
Sammyjames97

Sammyjames97

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2018
Messages
18
#4
I know what you mean, i was on way to doing a boxing fight before I got Ill. I started to recover and then tried to do another one and ended up quitting again, it's hard to do stuff like exercise at times and even watching the tv is hard when hearing voices, i hid my voices from my family and friends and it kinda sucks when you want to focus and talk and they believe your just not interested when its very hard to speak when feeling like this. I used to believe my voices were intelligent beings like aliens or demons or something I know what you mean about a presence.
I'm suffering memory loss real bad 19 months into being ill, although overall better i find it real shit how this stuff has delayed me.
The best thing I can advise is ignore the feeling of them wanting to harm you as it will just scare you out of doing shit. I decided to not fear these feelings of people hurting me at raves and nothing ever happened to me. Just try to stay positive its what im trying even if its hard at times 👍
 
N

Notaround713

Member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
14
Location
Houston
#5
I know what you mean, i was on way to doing a boxing fight before I got Ill. I started to recover and then tried to do another one and ended up quitting again, it's hard to do stuff like exercise at times and even watching the tv is hard when hearing voices, i hid my voices from my family and friends and it kinda sucks when you want to focus and talk and they believe your just not interested when its very hard to speak when feeling like this. I used to believe my voices were intelligent beings like aliens or demons or something I know what you mean about a presence.
I'm suffering memory loss real bad 19 months into being ill, although overall better i find it real shit how this stuff has delayed me.
The best thing I can advise is ignore the feeling of them wanting to harm you as it will just scare you out of doing shit. I decided to not fear these feelings of people hurting me at raves and nothing ever happened to me. Just try to stay positive its what im trying even if its hard at times 👍
Thanks for your response and story, I’m trying to stay positive. I definitely feel you on the memory loss I’ve experienced some of that feeling as well.. I don’t feel 100 percent like I used to. I’m actually doing a little bit worse then when I first wrote but I’m trying to keep to my same routine to try and get better. Medicines don’t seem to be working much this day. Good luck to you!
 
Sammyjames97

Sammyjames97

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2018
Messages
18
#6
You'll be okay in the long run i reckon, even if its hard to explain memory loss to doctors and people can't explain its cause easily its highly unlikely its anything serious. I've had many times I've feel I've got worse but I've eventually got better overall. Good luck to u too