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Voices, shame and paranoia

I

Iamastar

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2020
Messages
23
Location
London
Today I realised the long term impact that voices have had on my life. Chronic auditory hallucination mean your sense of shame becomes completely warped. What would have shamed you no longer matters. I can't remember the last time i felt ashamed that my neighbours would hear or see something embarassing. I'm so used to laughing at my self over everything. I just only know read up about what shame really is. It something people see visually and notice when the audience around them may perceive their action in a negative way. But, my audience is always inside my own mind. I don't think I really rationalise that people outside my head do see as well. So, today I realised i've forgotten what shame is really like. I keep on ignoring it. Anything i may hear, could be a voice. I'm it's like that for most of us! I feel really sad about this. I thought the voices even though there barely there and i pleasantly let them reside in the back of my mind where not really causing harm. Seams it's still there, being a pest and a curse!
 
S

SugarMountain

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jun 15, 2020
Messages
117
Location
Europe
I felt shame about it a long time. Lately I get to just deal with the fact my life is like that. But there are those rare times when there is complete silence and no tought of mine triggers it. That is so beautiful.
I Dont know how to see it as it is. It is loud, tricky and like a constant companion you did not choose ☺
There is that shame of what would people think if they knew what was in my head.
But the worst shame is about things that voices actually say. Brutal sometimes.
I guess we Dont always get to have peace, but that does not mean we should t live a good life. I hope I find just a little bit of that which you are staying. No shame. Sounds great.
Stay strong and take care!
 
I

Iamastar

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2020
Messages
23
Location
London
I felt shame about it a long time. Lately I get to just deal with the fact my life is like that. But there are those rare times when there is complete silence and no tought of mine triggers it. That is so beautiful.
I Dont know how to see it as it is. It is loud, tricky and like a constant companion you did not choose ☺
There is that shame of what would people think if they knew what was in my head.
But the worst shame is about things that voices actually say. Brutal sometimes.
I guess we Dont always get to have peace, but that does not mean we should t live a good life. I hope I find just a little bit of that which you are staying. No shame. Sounds great.
Stay strong and take care!
I can see where your coming from. You see I don’t actually hear anything in the daytime to feel ashamed of. But, whatever I can still see what you mean. We all have different things to work on. As long as we can see something needs changing it can be changed.
 
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