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flowergirl

flowergirl

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2012
Messages
1,499
Location
north east england
I havent posted in a while thats not for good reasons its been tough and things r not getting better i feel bad posting for support but im really struggling. I struggle alot with anxiety and no one can really make it better my anxiety changes alot but i do worry about my house being a mess well im getting visited and its an important one and im terrified cold sweats shaking hands the lot i just wish it was over voices dont help either :/
 
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SpaceTurtle

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 24, 2014
Messages
577
Please don't feel bad for posting for support, I'd love to hope I can offer you some type of support with my comments.

I have had severe anxiety problems in my life also, and still struggle to some degree with it, but its no longer overwhelming. But anxiety is an awful thing when its crippling your life. It makes me unhappy and sad that you are struggling, I hope people here can offer you some positive hope and support.

Oh I can relate to the messy house. Believe me I am a very messy person and I struggle massively with motivation, but I go into "frantic anxiety mode" too when visitors are suddenly coming and I need to clean, because I want them to think good things about me and my house.

I don't understand voices because I don't get them, all I can just suggest immediately is to try and calm down and relax for a few minutes and to not think of cleaning everything in your house just try and do the minimum, only the most important things you must clean. And even if you can't clean very much, I promise you the world will keep on going, even if you have a messy house. Surely if these people are understanding, and decent, if you explain to them you are struggling and your house is messy because of it, any decent person is going to understand and accept that.

You sound really anxious, I've had cold and shaking and sweaty hands, full body shaking, hyperventilation.

Its a positive step that you are starting to talk on here again, but you have complex and severe anxiety problems and the voices problem, you need solid professional support to try and resolve these issues.

There are various therapies and several medications that a professional may wish to try to help you deal with you anxiety and there are other options to try and deal with voices.

If I had a magic wand to help you I promise I would wave it and cure you right now. I really hope things get better and please keep talking to us.

I like your name on here too, "Flower girl", that brings a happy image to my mind.

Take care.
 
flowergirl

flowergirl

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2012
Messages
1,499
Location
north east england
Thankyou so much xxx you brought tears to my eyes with such thoughtful words and taking the time to reply.after its over i will write you a proper reply i wanted you to know i read it and am thankful for your support xxx im glad you have made good progress in your anxiety i would definitely like to learn how you did it if that would be ok xxx
 
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SpaceTurtle

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 24, 2014
Messages
577
Your very welcome. I am about to go to bed, but I will reply again tomorrow!

Anxiety is different from person to person, different types of anxiety and perhaps difference causes.

I increased my fitness a great deal over several months, started by walking a lot. It took a while but this seemed to help (there was a delay between increase and fitness and the reduction in anxiety).

I quit smoking (as I smoked) and went onto nicorette chewing gum. I really feel tobacco smoking can be a big cause of anxiety for some people.

I learned to identify the symptoms of anxiety by reading all about it so that when I started to suffer a "panic attack" type reaction I would know that I am not dying. You see especially with panic attack type anxiety, you get anxiety and this causes unpleasant physical symptoms, then you worry about these physical symptoms being dangerous which causes more anxiety and more physical symptoms, which causes you to worry more etc, its a feedback loop.

If you hyperventilate when anxious, you feel like your suffocating because something to do with the oxygen / carbon dioxide levels in your blood getting out of balance. Its NOT dangerous but VERY unpleasant. Its very hard to do, but you need to be able to force yourself to slow down your breathing if your hyperventilating with your anxiety. If your severely hyperventilating, breathing into a paper bag for a few minutes can help. Do not breath into a plastic bag as that is not safe.

Its hard but try to not tense your muscles. When very anxious I try and lie down so I can focus on trying to stop the anxiety reaction, but I suffered from "panic attack" type anxiety.

To a degree distracting yourself mentally, rather than hyper-focusing on the physical anxiety symptoms can help. I would for example count backwards from 1000 by 7 or do something in my head to try and stop thinking about the anxiety itself because the anxiety itself scared me.

Caffeine can trigger anxiety, so its best to limit your intake.

If you have very specific anxieties towards specific things, psychologists can help desensitize you to specific fears using specific types of therapies. If you AVOID something because you are anxious about it, it tends to REINFORCE the anxiety. Its not pleasant but its best to as much as possibly gradually learn to NOT avoid things that make you anxious.

This may only help you if your anxiety is caused by a similar situation to what caused mine. For some people long term therapy is needed, for some people certain medications can help.

Anxiety is a VERY common mental health problem, but your situation is complex because you hear voices and would seem to have other mental health problems as well.

If you smoke try getting onto the Nicolette chewing gum, the patches or something, gradually. You might need medical help to do this.

And I started walking or exercising 10 minutes a day at first. I was too anxious to go outside so I did it inside. I gradually increased it a few minutes each week, slowly and eventually went outside and started jogging. You may be fit and if you fit, then it won't help but if your not very fit, improving your fitness gradually may help a great deal, but its slow.

Social support, reading up on the symptoms of anxiety to identify them quickly when you get it, that sort of thing. Also coping techniques to maybe help manage certain aspects of your life in a way so as to avoid situations which put too much pressure on you.

I am not an expert, you may wish to see a professional that specializes in anxiety. I really hope you can make progress.

You seem like a really nice person and you do NOT deserve what you are experiencing. There are support groups for people with anxiety, if you can find and join one that may help.

You definitely need help though. For me it took seeing a few different people to find the right one. Sorry I wrote so much I hope at least a little bit of it is useful to you.

Very best wishes to you. Bye for now (bed time for me in 15 minutes!)
 
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Steveco99

Member
Joined
Sep 14, 2014
Messages
17
Hi Flowergirl,
Anxiety sucks the life out of you. My therapist did a lot of initial work on anxiety with me as it was one of my main symptoms, but at the same time we were working on why I have suffered from it for about 36 years.
It's easy to suggest an action plan- clean your house a little bit at a time etc, but when you are gripped with that crippling anxiety monster you can't think.
For me, finding a good psychotherapist has changed my life probably forever.
Like Spaceturtle said, you don't deserve this and you are not alone.
 
flowergirl

flowergirl

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2012
Messages
1,499
Location
north east england
Thank you both for your kind words. Its over thank god i feel a bit relieved but still very on edge i have a terrible headache I'm just living hour to hour atm thank you again though the messages really did help xxx
 
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SpaceTurtle

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 24, 2014
Messages
577
I am glad you feel little better Flower girl.

Please let people know how you are doing today. There are lots of caring people on here and I care.

I would like to hear things improve for you, but its okay if you have bad days. Its okay if you don't feel well or good. Of course we don't want you to feel that may, be we want to listen.

Bye
 
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