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Virginity

R

Richter

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So the issue is this, I'm in my 20s and have yet to lose my virginity.

It really brings me down that I haven't lost it. I'm not even looking for relationships anymore, I just want to get rid of it. I tried a dating site but it feels pointless, I'm definitely not going to meet the women that have contacted me, and most will not even take a second look at me.

I've started to consider an escort. I don't know why I'm posting this, maybe I'm feeling like I need validation I'm making the right choice. I understand the risks but being a virgin is driving me crazy. I've already predicted the kind of responses I will get here "You might meet someone", "Being a virgin is not a big deal", well I find it highly unlikely I will meet someone and being a virgin is a big deal to me.

What do I do? Is this the right choice for me?
 
calypso

calypso

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I don't want to be one of those who say its not a big deal, as it clearly is to you. I suspect there are far more men like you than you realise. What is your social life like? Can you go to parties? One of my brothers once asked me to look through his wardrobe and go to a party with him and watch what he was doing and report back. I was able to tell him some good pointers about how he came over. He (surprisingly) took it on board and didn't shout at me - which is unusual as we normally did shout at each other LOL.

Do you have a good friend who could help here? I wonder if you are not picking up on cues from girls who are interested. Many women are also shy and may give just looks but be afraid to come forward. It is not nice not being able to meet people who can open up sexually to you. xxx
 
R

Richter

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I don't want to be one of those who say its not a big deal, as it clearly is to you. I suspect there are far more men like you than you realise. What is your social life like? Can you go to parties? One of my brothers once asked me to look through his wardrobe and go to a party with him and watch what he was doing and report back. I was able to tell him some good pointers about how he came over. He (surprisingly) took it on board and didn't shout at me - which is unusual as we normally did shout at each other LOL.

Do you have a good friend who could help here? I wonder if you are not picking up on cues from girls who are interested. Many women are also shy and may give just looks but be afraid to come forward. It is not nice not being able to meet people who can open up sexually to you. xxx
I am very much alone. I have guys I know but none who are close enough to share these kind of problems with. As for parties, no I don't really get the opportunity. I guess I could go to a club but I'm below average here, so I can't see me getting lucky.

I'm definitely not missing cues from girls, they just aren't interested, I don't get looks, I don't get random conversations.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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I do have my own opinions about escorts and sex workers, but am going to leave that out of this because I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes and so I don't think it's for me to say what you should do.

I can see how this might be bothering you. I would say though that from what you've written, it sounds like you don't have an active social life which may be why you're still a virgin.
It could also be that you just aren't going to the right places to meet girls who would appreciate you.
What are your interests and hobbies? What kind of girl would you like to meet?

I really think the question about using an escort is only one that you can answer.
If you did opt for something like that, just be safe (use contraception).
 
R

Richter

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I do have my own opinions about escorts and sex workers, but am going to leave that out of this because I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes and so I don't think it's for me to say what you should do.

I can see how this might be bothering you. I would say though that from what you've written, it sounds like you don't have an active social life which may be why you're still a virgin.
It could also be that you just aren't going to the right places to meet girls who would appreciate you.
What are your interests and hobbies? What kind of girl would you like to meet?

I really think the question about using an escort is only one that you can answer.
If you did opt for something like that, just be safe (use contraception).
You're right, I don't have an active social life. It's not just a matter of being in the right place, it's also a matter of finding a girl who deems me worthy of her time, judging by online reactions these are few and far between. Not to mention adult virgins are seen as lepers by most men and women.

It looks to me like I have few options which all involve humiliating myself or an escort. It's hard not to feel bitter about this. It feels like if you're male and not good looking you have to struggle and fight ten times harder just to get a chance ...

Anyway, what is your opinion on escorts and sex workers, Somerset?
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Generally dating can be horrid. If you are good looking women think you are vain. If you are quiet women will ignore you. If you are fat they will laugh. LOL.

I think I use the same internet as everyone else, and my one is filled to the brim with naked ladies? Why bother?
 
rubyrose

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Sorry this is bothering you so much. For what it's worth, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin at any age. Seriously. I wouldn't necessarily encourage you to lose it to an escort but that's because of my own personal views, and I don't want to push them on you in any way. At the end of the day, it's up to you. Just be safe, whatever you decide. :)
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Just better off avoiding women Richter. On a few times women have told me they find virgins disgusting and creepy. Just avoid them.
 
D

Dottyone

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I am a virgin and I think people can judge virgins as unusual which is upsetting, I think its because society is more doggy and loose shagging around is very common.:nod1:

At least Virgins dont have gross spots and std's errr, now that is discusting and creapy as fuk.

Dating is too upsetting for some of us, me including.

Good luck to all shaggers and non shaggers, be good if not be safe ;)

Signed Virginia
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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I think sex takes far too much of a role in the human psyche these days. You do not need another person to do it - a kitchen implement or your hand will do the job.

It is largely a weapon to make people feel inferior. Over-rated and as Teddy says - it is inherently dirty and there is usually always a consequence.
 
R

Richter

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Just better off avoiding women Richter. On a few times women have told me they find virgins disgusting and creepy. Just avoid them.
I'm sure many do. I've found both men and women largely deride people who are virgins. Like I said before it's far too easy to be bitter and think, 'everyone hates me, they all suck and I'm better off without'. In the end, if nobody is interested me then I just find it logical to get it over with with an escort.
 
D

Dottyone

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I'm sure many do. I've found both men and women largely deride people who are virgins. Like I said before it's far too easy to be bitter and think, 'everyone hates me, they all suck and I'm better off without'. In the end, if nobody is interested me then I just find it logical to get it over with with an escort.
I am sure someone is interested in you Richter, maybe you've just not bumped into them yet. :hug:
 
D

Dottyone

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I think sex takes far too much of a role in the human psyche these days. You do not need another person to do it - a kitchen implement or your hand will do the job.
Ive been looking in my kitchen Draw toninght Brat and I cant find anything that will do the job for me :LOL:

Ive got a choice of a whisk or a Tin Opener lol
 
R

Richter

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Sorry this is bothering you so much. For what it's worth, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin at any age. Seriously. I wouldn't necessarily encourage you to lose it to an escort but that's because of my own personal views, and I don't want to push them on you in any way. At the end of the day, it's up to you. Just be safe, whatever you decide. :)
Thanks for the response. Is there anything wrong with it? maybe, maybe not, but it has a lot to do with self-worth. To be a guy who is unloved, who hasn't experienced these things ... I can tell you, it sucks to be that guy. It's not like I'm making a choice between a relationship and an escort here, because I don't get interest from women, at all.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Sometimes you eat a burger because you are hungry and sometimes you go out to dinner because it is an occasion.
 
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