- Dec 12, 2008
I've been diagnosed with bipolar for some time now and have had quite distinct episodes of high and low mood, occasionally with psychotic features. But in the last 2 weeks things have become not very good and I don't recognize myself, i'd go as far as saying that I frighten myself. I have a very agitated depression at the moment and my mind is racing with self loath constantly, I don't think I've slept for days, I don't know because things are becoming very blurred now, can't tell if I'm dreaming or not and I'm very disoriented. My mum came to visit me a week ago because I apparently phoned her at 4 am one night making no sense whatsoever, saying that I had something under my skin and that it hurt so bad. I don't have much recollection of the event but I know I was very frightened. Now my head is spinning and I am a shaking mess. I'm not tired, and anyway I'm too scared to fall asleep because I have weird dreams and get confused with what is a dream and what is not. has anyone had this before? It's new to me and I'd much rather have a full on depression where I can spend my days asleep. I don't know if my head can take it until thursday when I see my Dr- I'm so scared I've got some terrible physical brain malfunction...