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very very unpleasant

Z

zeropolar wannabe

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Joined
Dec 12, 2008
Messages
12
I've been diagnosed with bipolar for some time now and have had quite distinct episodes of high and low mood, occasionally with psychotic features. But in the last 2 weeks things have become not very good and I don't recognize myself, i'd go as far as saying that I frighten myself. I have a very agitated depression at the moment and my mind is racing with self loath constantly, I don't think I've slept for days, I don't know because things are becoming very blurred now, can't tell if I'm dreaming or not and I'm very disoriented. My mum came to visit me a week ago because I apparently phoned her at 4 am one night making no sense whatsoever, saying that I had something under my skin and that it hurt so bad. I don't have much recollection of the event but I know I was very frightened. Now my head is spinning and I am a shaking mess. I'm not tired, and anyway I'm too scared to fall asleep because I have weird dreams and get confused with what is a dream and what is not. has anyone had this before? It's new to me and I'd much rather have a full on depression where I can spend my days asleep. I don't know if my head can take it until thursday when I see my Dr- I'm so scared I've got some terrible physical brain malfunction... :(
 
jax

jax

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Nov 23, 2008
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Belfast, N.Ireland
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. I do hope you can hold off till tomorrow and that your Dr can help you. I too have had problems where I have trouble distinguishing what is real from dreaming or fantasy. It is very, very frightening. I'm also having problems where I am thinking I'm having a serious problem with my Brian atm. It is doing strange things.
Let us know how your appointment goes. I hope you feel better soon.
Jacqui
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Jun 28, 2008
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Yorkshire, UK
I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it alately Zero. Just hang in there until tomorrow until you can see your doc and maybe they can do something to help.
I, too, know the feeling of never knowing whether something is real or fantasy and it is a scary time but I doubt it's anything to do with a brain malfunction, it could just be to do with the bipolar/psychosis :hug:
Try not to worry and focus on seeing your doctor tomorrow.

Sending big :hug:s to you
:flowers:
 
jax

jax

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Joined
Nov 23, 2008
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Location
Belfast, N.Ireland
Hi Zero,
Just wondering how you got on with your appointment today? I do hope it went well.
Jacqui
 
Z

zeropolar wannabe

Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2008
Messages
12
Bit better, one day at a time!

Thanks for your replies, it's great to be able to get support when it's needed the most!
I went to see my psychiatrist today and she was very understanding, she thought I was in some sort of a mixed state with dysphoric mania, so it's nice to hear that it has a name and that it's fairly common, I was so worried I had some horrible organic illness!
She lowered my lamotrigin a bit, apparently you can get a little agitated by it (I'm in Sweden and the maximum dose of lamotrigin for bipolar here is 300mg, whereas in UK it's 200mg I think) and she increased my quitiepine to 600mg depot tablets to take the psychotic experiences away. She also gave me some zopiclone sleeping tablets to try for a couple of nights, sleep is of the essence at the moment! She said I should be feeling better tomorrow already, so fingers crossed!
So I went and bought myself some really comfy pj's and some nice silk bedsheets, and I'm going to bed at 10 tonight, so we'll see! I'll keep you updated, wish me luck, lol!
This is me = :sleep:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
jax

jax

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Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
868
Location
Belfast, N.Ireland
That's great that you got some medicine adjustments. Hope like the pdoc said- you'll soon notice a difference. :)

Enjoy those silk sheets and new PJ's tonight. I'm sure you'll have a lovely sleep!
Jacqui x
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Jun 28, 2008
Messages
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Location
Yorkshire, UK
oOoOo I hope the new med doses do soo much for you :). Enjoy the silk sheets & new pj's :D
xx
 
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