I didn't come this far for my mental health providers to get me kicked of my s.s.i. I feel they are pressuring me to say I'm better when I'm not. Seeing them makes me feel worse about myself and my future. It wouldn't help for me to switch psychiatrists because they would make me see a therapist anyway, so I'm back where I started. I don't think I could ever work again. I am too messed up. But I can't let my sister and I be forced to move back in with our parents or be homeless. That would cause friction if I had no income. I would be my mothers slave again. I would lose everything in my apartment. I would be stuck there for the rest of my life. My sister couldn't transition or get her sex change. All because of me. I can't lose my s.s.i. but I can't work either. Should I tell my providers how I feel? I used to be so strong and mentally stable. I'm crying as I type this. I don't know what to do. I really wish I could work! There is most likely no hope for me. Maybe I should just end it.