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Very suicidal

I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
I didn't come this far for my mental health providers to get me kicked of my s.s.i. I feel they are pressuring me to say I'm better when I'm not. Seeing them makes me feel worse about myself and my future. It wouldn't help for me to switch psychiatrists because they would make me see a therapist anyway, so I'm back where I started. I don't think I could ever work again. I am too messed up. But I can't let my sister and I be forced to move back in with our parents or be homeless. That would cause friction if I had no income. I would be my mothers slave again. I would lose everything in my apartment. I would be stuck there for the rest of my life. My sister couldn't transition or get her sex change. All because of me. I can't lose my s.s.i. but I can't work either. Should I tell my providers how I feel? I used to be so strong and mentally stable. I'm crying as I type this. I don't know what to do. I really wish I could work! There is most likely no hope for me. Maybe I should just end it. :panic::cry2:
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
30,473
Location
Mordor
Maybe you can tell your therapist how you feel. Explain that you feel you need more time.
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
8,319
Location
Another planet
Are you able to say to your mental health providers that you are not well enough to work. Have they said that they think you are?
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
No they never said that. But I told my therapist I wanted to be a veterinary assistant. If they ask I will just have to tell them I can't work. But if they say I'm doing better I will lose my benefits. Why do psychiatrists make their patients see therapists anyway?!
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
8,319
Location
Another planet
Wanting to do something and being able to are very different. Your therapist I wouldn't think should divulge what you say to her anyway. Think it should be confidential?
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
Yeah that's true. I just hope I'm being paranoid for no reason. But I highly doubt it. I need some serious job coaching. I need to start volunteering and not give up. I need to get my license and a car.
 
Groot

Groot

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2017
Messages
198
Location
USA
LORD please save me from this situation. :panic: :cry2:
FUBAR, Your profile states "Hell" as your current location. Does that mean USA? If so, are you not qualified to receive SSDI benefits?
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
FUBAR, Your profile states "Hell" as your current location. Does that mean USA? If so, are you not qualified to receive SSDI benefits?
I am on S.S.I. I just can't risk losing it and being homeless. I need a psychiatrist I can trust for a change. :unsure:
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Look up social security administration. Create an account. Look up and print out your benefits statement.

You will see on the 2nd page that it lists you as "ongoing payments".

Then take a deep breath and talk to your therapist about your fears. If need be write it all down & print it out.
 
C

claude

Guest
Thinking of you iwomh. Sounds like good advice from tiltawhirl. Therapy takes time to work, they will know that, I would think that starting therapy would not mean you are seen as ready to work straight away. You do not sound ready for work. Try to take it easy and take one step at a time. Be kind to yourself, go easy
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
I don't wanna live if there's no GOD what's the point? We are all alone in this cruel sickened depraved world! :cry2::panic:
 
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