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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Very lonely once again!

JackieBlue

JackieBlue

Member
Joined
May 18, 2020
Messages
12
Location
New York
I am a lonely 52yr old female who's never been married, never had children. I've been mistreated most of my life especially by my family. I recently lost my boyfriend, he committed suicide. before I met him I was very lonely been backstabbed by friends and suffering from depression for 5 years. He's been suffering from cancer for 4 years he's been very depressed ever since this past fall and now with this pandemic it got him even more depressed which lead him to suicide. He was my life the only person that keeps me from being depressed only recently we've been drifting apart because he's been making promises he doesn't intend to keep. Now that he's gone I'm very much alone again. My family doesn't care about me. I'm having suicidal thoughts now. I'm in deep depression.. I pray that one day I'll wake up dead! I'll just pray that I die in my sleep and my boyfriend's soul will wake me up and escort me to heaven. I don't want to live in this pathetic world anymore. If I had the courage I would have committed suicide and join my boyfriend already!
 
Mario82

Mario82

Taking a break
Joined
Apr 4, 2020
Messages
3,781
Location
UK
Hi JackieBlue

I am really sorry you feel that way, people on here will do what we can to support you. I wish you felt better, maybe speaking to someone or seeing a doctor for medication would help. You have done a brave thing registering on the forum and letting it all out, you should stay around and let us support you.
 
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