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Very depressed and need advice

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Ellen46

Member
Joined
May 9, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Cambridge
Hi everyone. I would like to keep this as short as possible so as not to ramble on. I have suffered with depression my entire life, and no amount of medication has helped other than opiates. I lost my job in September and have had no luck since then and feel like it’s rejection after rejection. I basically have no friends now, and nothing to live for. I keep thinking about wanting to die daily, and hoping it will happen soon. Anyone ever felt this way? I just feel like nobody would care if I died other than my husband. Any response is appreciated. Also I was just diagnosed with adhd and started medication today. I just hope it doesn’t make it worse.
 
J

jamraspberry

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 11, 2020
Messages
235
Location
World
I keep thinking about wanting to die daily, and hoping it will happen soon. Anyone ever felt this way?
I have always had anxiety and I feel like that too, you are not alone. I phone Samaritans on 116 123. Have you phoned them?
 
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Ellen46

Member
Joined
May 9, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Cambridge
No I have never heard of them. I am afraid to call a crisis line or to be honest about how I really feel because I’m afraid they will call ems and hospitalize me. I do not want that during this time. How do you cope with the overwhelming feeling of wanting to die?
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
3,723
Location
Sheffiield
I'm sorry you're feeling so low, I hope things improve for you soon. It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

As jamraspberry said if you are in the UK or ROI the Samaritans can be called for free on 116 123.

In other countries you can find similar services by looking at the Befrienders Worldwide Website at Befrienders Worldwide | Emotional support to prevent suicide worldwide

I wish you all the best.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
18,525
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Hi everyone. I would like to keep this as short as possible so as not to ramble on. I have suffered with depression my entire life, and no amount of medication has helped other than opiates. I lost my job in September and have had no luck since then and feel like it’s rejection after rejection. I basically have no friends now, and nothing to live for. I keep thinking about wanting to die daily, and hoping it will happen soon. Anyone ever felt this way? I just feel like nobody would care if I died other than my husband. Any response is appreciated. Also I was just diagnosed with adhd and started medication today. I just hope it doesn’t make it worse.
i been suicidial and unemployed before so i know how it feels :hug:

the links that NWiddi posted are good, i hope they help :hug:

keep talking to us here :hug:

and heres a extra :hug:
 
DistantOcean

DistantOcean

Well-known member
Joined
May 4, 2020
Messages
105
Location
Netherlands
Firstly I want to say I know how you feel. I have been depressed for the past 2.5 years, without any recovery whatsoever in the past 1.5 years. My study was halted 1.5 years as well after my fourth psychotic break and I feel like I have little capacity to work at the moment. I am however looking at volunteer work at an animal shelter for a few days per week. It is good to try and stay busy, preferably doing activities where you meet other people. If you ever feel alone there are many forums on which you can share your experiences. There are many people interested in your story.

For me reasons not to end it all are that I don't want to hurt the people around me, I still enjoy progressing at different skills, and somehow the thought of everlasting nothingness seems to make life ever so precious. A line which comes to mind regarding this last reason to live is 'I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all' from the song 'Pain' by Three Days Grace. I know it can be hard to hold on but things can get better, even if its marginally. You could also look into TMS treatment, it is a bit expensive but it was found to relieve depression for a considerable amount of people who try it.
 
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Ellen46

Member
Joined
May 9, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Cambridge
Firstly I want to say I know how you feel. I have been depressed for the past 2.5 years, without any recovery whatsoever in the past 1.5 years. My study was halted 1.5 years as well after my fourth psychotic break and I feel like I have little capacity to work at the moment. I am however looking at volunteer work at an animal shelter for a few days per week. It is good to try and stay busy, preferably doing activities where you meet other people. If you ever feel alone there are many forums on which you can share your experiences. There are many people interested in your story.

For me reasons not to end it all are that I don't want to hurt the people around me, I still enjoy progressing at different skills, and somehow the thought of everlasting nothingness seems to make life ever so precious. A line which comes to mind regarding this last reason to live is 'I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all' from the song 'Pain' by Three Days Grace. I know it can be hard to hold on but things can get better, even if its marginally. You could also look into TMS treatment, it is a bit expensive but it was found to relieve depression for a considerable amount of people who try it.
Actually TMS was suggested by camh last year. I may look into it again. I’ll check that song out. It sounds familiar. My reasons are my family and especially my dogs. They would be lost without me. It’s the only thing that is keeping me here. I also have thought about volunteering at an animal shelter, but I’m not sure you can right now. I’ll look into that too. Thank you for your message:)
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
3,407
Location
Nashua NH
No I have never heard of them. I am afraid to call a crisis line or to be honest about how I really feel because I’m afraid they will call ems and hospitalize me. I do not want that during this time. How do you cope with the overwhelming feeling of wanting to die?
Hello Ellen, I have called crisis lines numerous times in the past when I have been suicidal and on the whole they have been very helpful and pleasant to talk to. I have called about a dozen times and they have never once called an ambulance for me or tried to have me committed. I think with the number of people who call in each day it would be hard to do that for every one. These days I push myself through my low points by trying to focus on family. I have had so many attempts, none have worked and it always upsets them. I hate to upset them any longer unnecessarily. It’s an uncomfortable feeling to sit with but know that you are not alone here. Many of us have been where you are and understand that the struggle is real.
 
C

ctbo

Active member
Joined
May 4, 2020
Messages
25
Location
usa
I to suffer from anxiety its really bad i shake i take paxil 20 mg but need somthing stronger i hope you get the help you need as i need help to.its hard for me daliy buy im hanging on.day by day one step at a time.
 
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Ellen46

Member
Joined
May 9, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Cambridge
Hello Ellen, I have called crisis lines numerous times in the past when I have been suicidal and on the whole they have been very helpful and pleasant to talk to. I have called about a dozen times and they have never once called an ambulance for me or tried to have me committed. I think with the number of people who call in each day it would be hard to do that for every one. These days I push myself through my low points by trying to focus on family. I have had so many attempts, none have worked and it always upsets them. I hate to upset them any longer unnecessarily. It’s an uncomfortable feeling to sit with but know that you are not alone here. Many of us have been where you are and understand that the struggle is real.
Thank you for reaching out. That makes me feel much better about calling! I just need someone to talk to, and tell this too other than my psychiatrist who will actually talk me through it, and understand. There is a reason you survived, I hope you know that. You have family and people that care about you, so that makes you very fortunate.
 
B

bazza

Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2020
Messages
15
Location
nottinghamshire
I too have severe depression and have tried TMS it is expensive I had it twice but it didn't work for me at all im sorry to say I built my hopes up thinking it would work and was let down with such a bump.perhaps it may work for others but I don't think it works for severe depression.so im back on the meds they don't appear to be working very well either.just wish there was a magic potion that did work for all of us.x
 
M

Mary on the hill

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2020
Messages
60
Location
Batavia NY
Actually TMS was suggested by camh last year. I may look into it again. I’ll check that song out. It sounds familiar. My reasons are my family and especially my dogs. They would be lost without me. It’s the only thing that is keeping me here. I also have thought about volunteering at an animal shelter, but I’m not sure you can right now. I’ll look into that too. Thank you for your message:)
If the shelter is a kill shelter then it would not be a good place to work in. You will get attached to some dogs and then find out that they were put to sleep. I could never do it. A non kill shelter would be better.
 
S

Shay94

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
311
Location
Balga. Perth
Working with animals is so much better for your mental health than it is with humans. I have severe depression/anxiety for years, last 3 have been particularly brutal but am trying to push thru it. I have my partner, my family and couple of mates I still have to thank, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them. And honestly, try volunteering at a shelter like RSPCA where its no-kill, they do everything possible to help animals & try re-homing them
 
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