Very dark thoughts anyone?

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Pigsyjug

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#1
I often walk my dog in the woods and can think of nothing other than 'this would be a good murder spot' or 'some is behind me following' the whole walk...amongst lots of other equally disturbing scenarios.
Lets not forget the age old 'smash my car into a tree/wall/pole...etc etc etc its like I am constantly on the watch for the nearest item to hit at full speed whilst driving.
Does anyone else fantasize of anything morbid etc??
 
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George10111

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#2
I get it trust me. You're not alone and you're not a bad person. Everyone has thoughts like that. I have had some really f***ed up thoughts and even reacted to those thoughts in a way I didn't want to but my therapist assured me it wasn't my fault. I'm the king of having these types of intruding thoughts and I could fill up ten pages here right now of different scenarios I've thought of but always knew I'd refuse to act on. Realize in your heart its not you having those thoughts, it could come from fear.
 
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megirl

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#3
I often have dark thoughts. I dont think its actually that unusual.
I sometimes think, better off driving into a huge tree instead of a power pole more chance of hitting the tree.
Jumping off a tall building.
Walking across the road real slow hoping a truck my hit me.
I'm trying to tempt fate. I dont really want to die but..
Its like having fantasies its only a tgought
 
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Pigsyjug

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#4
Yes I agree, I dont think I would act upon these thoughts.
Im going back to my forensic psychology this year so think perhaps these instances are my head preparing I guess.
Very interesting in deedy
 
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megirl

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#5
I have had a situation, I left the ward for a walk, (I wasn't meant to be out on my own-for obvious reasons) and I was crossing a busy road very slowly a truck was getting quite close,and I could tell the driver was starting to turn his truck away from me towards some trees. I felt really bad as he was prepared to drive his truck into a tree rather than hitting me.
It made me think that if I did that, he would have to live with that for the rest of his life.
Its not a pretty way to die. There's the driver,police, ambulance crew, the list goes on.
 
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Pigsyjug

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#6
Yeah I was down by the river few weeks back and was so angry at the sailors and rowers.....then there were kids feeding the ducks....I can't climb in with ppl there to see it.
3 hrs I waited and I decided to just go home.
I couldn't do that to ppl....hanging myself in my double garage on the other hand.
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

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#8
yeah... I get it.
I do all sorts of morbid stuff like that.
I am so familiar with it I have stopped trying to tell myself I am real bad.

the thing is?... and this is the scary thing I suppose.

all that stuff is kinda meaningless to me... after years of bipolar depression.

and mind you!... I would fall over running to offer assistance if someone was ever faced with a human that would carry out my morbid thoughts.

i think it's some kind of dark confidence builder? cos when the depression hits it's like the whole world wants to destroy me...

and I have tears in my eyes knowing just how bad that is...

so why not become Freddy fucking Kruger or who-ever the madness takes shape.

I am nearly 50 and that's alot of mood swings...

sure I consider being a murderer...and it's directed inwards.

I want to kill my mental illness
 
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myjourney2

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#9
I often walk my dog in the woods and can think of nothing other than 'this would be a good murder spot' or 'some is behind me following' the whole walk...amongst lots of other equally disturbing scenarios.
Lets not forget the age old 'smash my car into a tree/wall/pole...etc etc etc its like I am constantly on the watch for the nearest item to hit at full speed whilst driving.
Does anyone else fantasize of anything morbid etc??
Yes, constantly. Think of punching cars (I've done that one), kicking dogs and babies, throwing people myself into traffic, standing in the road to make people have to go around me and probably crash, throwing peple off a ferry, stabbing myself with knife, thinking how to cause an air crash at airports, many others. And planning about how I could get away with murdering my boss, what fun! It's a strong sensation that's hard to overcome and usually I just curse them out or shout or get rid of the energy in some other way. I think I'm possessed by the devil, just pure evil
 
sunset547544

sunset547544

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#10
Try forcing yourself to repeat an intrusive thought 10-20 times each time they pop up in your head, this is how I got rid if mine.