apple, the fact that you feel guilt and that you're afraid and possibly aware of hurting someone really shows that you are not a bad person, let alone an evil one.
Of course most people will allow you to vent, and if they do they either want you to, or simply don't want to see you hurt. If they're lying, it still means they want to offer you support regardless, or else they would've straight up refused- and it still is not your responsibility.
Journaling usually helps, keeping a journal of little accomplishments (eating, getting out of bed, feeding your pets,...) and things you're grateful for (having glasses that fix your eyesight, being able to buy certain things, having a bed to sleep in, and so on) feel healthy to me, other than venting.
But nobody can bear difficulties alone, not me and not you- are you seeing a therapist? If you are not, I highly advise it. If you can't, believe in your friends, a family member, a professor or teacher if you're a student, but remember there is ALWAYS someone that knows you deserve happiness.