venting

[apple2003]

i keep venting to people when they say it’s ok to talk and it never is ok to actually talk they’re lying and it hurts them and i don’t want to hurt them. i feel like i deserve pain and it hurts. my mistakes are too bad and i don’t feel like i can recover. i will journal instead of telling someone who knows the situation but i feel so so alone. i guess i have here but i’m not sure, i still feel like i’m evil.

 

[sam999]

you are not evil for venting. your Feelings are valid and you dont make the People you talk to feel bad. i promise you that youre just ''imagining'' things. they want to help u

 

[MeAndMyDepression]

Why are you putting yourself down so mercilessly:
"I feel like i deserve pain."
"My mistakes are too bad and i don’t feel like i can recover."
"i still feel like i’m evil."

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

i keep venting to people when they say it’s ok to talk and it never is ok to actually talk they’re lying and it hurts them and i don’t want to hurt them. i feel like i deserve pain and it hurts. my mistakes are too bad and i don’t feel like i can recover. i will journal instead of telling someone who knows the situation but i feel so so alone. i guess i have here but i’m not sure, i still feel like i’m evil.

all of your thoughts and emotions come from your subconscious mind. which is a genetic reaction to your sense data built up over time. once your subconscious mind realizes it can improve itself by subjecting itself to new better environments and information then you will "choose" to do that and begin to get better. until that happens you will have to wait for externals to do it for you by chance.

 

[apple2003]

you are not evil for venting. your Feelings are valid and you dont make the People you talk to feel bad. i promise you that youre just ''imagining'' things. they want to help u

they told me that it is too much for them and that means i already hurt them by sending this though right?

 

[apple2003]

Why are you putting yourself down so mercilessly:
"I feel like i deserve pain."
"My mistakes are too bad and i don’t feel like i can recover."
"i still feel like i’m evil."

i feel like i deserve it : (

 

[sam999]

they told me that it is too much for them and that means i already hurt them by sending this though right?

if they told you, Maybe you should give them a break. ist not your fault. they OFFERED it to you. and you dont deserve pain or anything like that. noone does.

 

[apple2003]

if they told you, Maybe you should give them a break. ist not your fault. they OFFERED it to you. and you dont deserve pain or anything like that. noone does.

thank you i hope so , i just don’t want people to be hurt by my pain and it’s happened twice now

 

[Louizard]

apple, the fact that you feel guilt and that you're afraid and possibly aware of hurting someone really shows that you are not a bad person, let alone an evil one.
Of course most people will allow you to vent, and if they do they either want you to, or simply don't want to see you hurt. If they're lying, it still means they want to offer you support regardless, or else they would've straight up refused- and it still is not your responsibility.
Journaling usually helps, keeping a journal of little accomplishments (eating, getting out of bed, feeding your pets,...) and things you're grateful for (having glasses that fix your eyesight, being able to buy certain things, having a bed to sleep in, and so on) feel healthy to me, other than venting.
But nobody can bear difficulties alone, not me and not you- are you seeing a therapist? If you are not, I highly advise it. If you can't, believe in your friends, a family member, a professor or teacher if you're a student, but remember there is ALWAYS someone that knows you deserve happiness.