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Urges and eccentricity

shaky

shaky

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 2, 2009
Messages
7,600
Location
Warwickshire
My mind gives me sort of 'urges' or 'suggestions' - but I don't mean like a voice telling me, more a feeling. It makes me behave strangely, I suppose.
E.g. If I put on a shirt and button it up to the neck (leaving 1 button undone) like most men, I feel restricted, closed in. It is uncomfortable. If I undo a few buttons so that the heart is exposed I feel better, comfortable. There is something 'wrong' with having the heart covered up.
Now I know that very few men go around with their shirt unbuttoned as low as that. I suppose that people think I am odd, or that I fancy myself, or what - I don't know. Maybe I appear arrogant and possibly aggressive (although I don't have any tattoos) because I refuse to conform to the normal dress code, or maybe showing the chest in humans is like a gorilla beating its chest - I don't know, I'm guessing.
I don't understand clothes the way other peope do anyway - I just want to (a) be comfortable and (b) look good.

But where does this 'urge' come from to dress so? It just FEELS uncomfortable to cover up. I don't understand it. Why would the mind DO that?
 
R

Respect-to-all

Guest
It is just a convention of society I guess Shaky.

Most people do whatever others do.

I do know when I worked in the corporate world many years ago, we all had to wear ties.

I hated wearing ties. It actually really felt uncomfortable and tight around the neck which I didn't like at all.

In some environments, even having your top button undone whilst wearing a tie was seen as a bit rebelious. With regards that I am talking about my school days where this was clamped down on by teachers.

Certain things like boys wearing white socks was also frowned upon. I do remember my sister was sent home because the colour of her coat was seen as too bright.

Seems blatantly ridiculous really but guess that was how it was.

I know so called hard nuts who follow football are often seen bare chested on the terraces in the depths of winter.

I don't think you are in anyway aggressive in your thinking behind your clothing. You have always come across on here as a sensitive man. I guess maybe you feel slightly awkward with regards to how you feel about clothing is not considered the social norm.

I know from your posts this viewpoint is important to you.

Have you ever been on a holiday where the resort or area is actually designed as a naturist resort. Maybe having others who have this urge too, which seems natural to you may help you not feel so different with regards to this.

My guess is there are probably forums on the internet too, if you googled it, where you would get a variety of views who are also inclined to have these kinds of beliefs and ideals.

It is a very PC world these days, I have to admit, but everyone has the right to be an individual and have their own ideals and beliefs and I feel as long as it does not harm others is fine. Definitely live and let live in my eyes, but do understand sometimes society can possibly make us feel bad about things which in our own eyes are just perfectly natural.

It is not something that I myself am inclined towards shaky but I myself don't have any qualms about this and totally respect and understand that this is a natural feeling for you.

Definitely would recommend though googling for forums around this subject. I am sure having others opinions around this subject that others can relate to, would help you feel less alone in the way perhaps you may currently feel around this.

No problems for me though shaky with you feeling this way about this.

Take it easy yourself.

Ranger:)
 
Tropical

Tropical

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 3, 2013
Messages
339
Location
Essex
My mind gives me sort of 'urges' or 'suggestions' - but I don't mean like a voice telling me, more a feeling. It makes me behave strangely, I suppose.
E.g. If I put on a shirt and button it up to the neck (leaving 1 button undone) like most men, I feel restricted, closed in. It is uncomfortable. If I undo a few buttons so that the heart is exposed I feel better, comfortable. There is something 'wrong' with having the heart covered up.
Now I know that very few men go around with their shirt unbuttoned as low as that. I suppose that people think I am odd, or that I fancy myself, or what - I don't know. Maybe I appear arrogant and possibly aggressive (although I don't have any tattoos) because I refuse to conform to the normal dress code, or maybe showing the chest in humans is like a gorilla beating its chest - I don't know, I'm guessing.
I don't understand clothes the way other peope do anyway - I just want to (a) be comfortable and (b) look good.

But where does this 'urge' come from to dress so? It just FEELS uncomfortable to cover up. I don't understand it. Why would the mind DO that?
Is it a claustrophobic sort of thing? I can't wear nail varnish because i feel that my nails cannot breathe. They feel tight and uncomfortable.

I must admit i don't like seeing a bare chest. I can't stand it when men walk around with their tops off in the summer. I'm just not comfortable with it. It is a bit too sexual, and also could be seen as a cocky display. It depends where you do it.
 
shaky

shaky

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 2, 2009
Messages
7,600
Location
Warwickshire
Is it a claustrophobic sort of thing? I can't wear nail varnish because i feel that my nails cannot breathe. They feel tight and uncomfortable.
Yes. Similar I suppose - that my heart cannot breathe sounds about right.
Why would our minds put these feelings into our consciousness? It's so random and absurd.
Is there anything that it is saying to me?
I don't mind having funny feelings but I like toknow what they mean

I must admit i don't like seeing a bare chest. I can't stand it when men walk around with their tops off in the summer. I'm just not comfortable with it. It is a bit too sexual, and also could be seen as a cocky display. It depends where you do it.
This is what worries me, that people think I'm a narcissist or something - but it's just me being comfortable.

Why do we know so little about what goes on in our own minds?
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,276
I think everybody should decide how and what to wear it makes us unique, I prefer long sleeves and completely covered up, others like dresses, or skirts, or tank tops, or shorts but I prefer jeans, I guess we dress how we feel..
 
V

venomous vernon

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
4
Location
Leeds
Is there a name for this urge? I certainly feel that I need to open my buttons to feel free. There are no dirty thoughts, and although I may look rediculous, it does feel great. I certainly would never want to offend anyone, or make anyone feel awkward.
 
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BlueBerry

BlueBerry

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 13, 2014
Messages
1,261
Location
Edinburgh
I don't see anything wrong with it at all. If unbuttoning your shirt across the heart makes you feel more comfortable then go for it. Its just a dress preference, not necessarily a weird compulsion to be concerned about.
I used to never bother tying the laces on my shoes, that would just make my shoes feel tighter and constricting on my feet, so I just tucked the laces in instead. It was also part laziness!

Don't worry about looking show-offy or anything, especially if its a warm day. The guys that bother me are the ones who walk around town centre completely topless on warm days, that just looks show offy and I get a face-full of stinky sweat smell if I walk too close past them on the street. Yuck! :yuck:
 
Electric

Electric

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 24, 2014
Messages
113
When my oldest son was about three years old, he decided only to wear long sleeves and long trousers eventhough we lived in the tropics. This caused a lot of confusion with other people, they all told him to dress differently due to the hot weather. But he wasn't sweating. I even had harsh discussions with his father who was ashamed about his son's dress code. I protected my son by telling every one, including his father, that he had the right to feel comfortable. We are not there to judge and force our own opinion upon another. We must support each other when it becomes an issue about personal development and carrying out what you want to be.

But hey, I would say come to the Caribbean! Many men wear their shirts almost completely open. Here the women find that sexy, and gay men too. It is a symbol of freedom.

There is nothing wrong with you. There is something wrong with the enviroment you are in, there is no complete match. The world is big, there are so many countries with so many different kinds of people from so many cultures... The thing that you are experiencing now is not the whole truth because there are a lot of diffrent kinds of truths out there.

Electric
 
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