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urge to OD

calypso

calypso

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Victoria, just see it as an urge, not a reality. Hold on and don't let it wash you away with a momentum.

Feeling very depressed is so painful, and so exhausting, I really do know. But, keep talking to all of us and let the members support you. Make it through each hour. Hugs honey. xxx
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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Hi honey, I'm so sorry :hug1: How are you feeling now? :hug: Better? Worse? The same?
 
V

Viktoria

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Thanks for the replies, it means a lot.
I'm trying to leave it at thoughts and get through each hour but it's hard.
I feel the same, I've felt like this for a week.

I told my dad yesterday. He said a penny for your thoughts, I said you don't want to know but he did so I told him. He's hidden the meds. It's enough to kill of at least 10 people. There's so much. I'm home alone now and searching for them but he's done a good job at it.

I feel worthless and alone and like no one cares about me :low:
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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I feel worthless and alone and like no one cares about me :low:
That's what sucks so much about depression.. I know this feeling, and I am so sorry you're experiencing it :hug1:

How is your daily schedule? Are you a student/working/unemployed/something else? (I'm only asking to understand better, but you don't have to reply of course)

I'm glad you trusted your dad enough to tell him :hug1:
 
V

Viktoria

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Thanks again for replying :hug:

I'm unemployed. I help my dad out with work and I'm working on my uni application. I have an interview in a couple of weeks. I want to study in September for which I'll be moving to the UK (I live in the Netherlands at the moment).

I've suffered with depression since I was twelve and was first sectioned at thirteen and many times since. That does scare me, I don't want it to happen again.

How are you? X
 
V

Viktoria

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I found another bag
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

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Please keep safe Viktoria x are you still home alone? Could you flush those pills down the toilet or throw them out or smash them into little pieces if your angry????
I'm here to talk x
 
V

Viktoria

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Thank you sparkly
I'm home alone for another hour or so
I really want to I'm useless I can't think of anything else to do I think now is the right time x
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

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Mmmmm an hour, you could try breaking it down into smaller time slots - I have a list of distraction methods I use and I go through the list and at least try to do each one for five minutes, sometimes I don't manage 5 minutes, some I manage longer. Here's some from my list ;
Have a bath
Write a letter
Play some pointless online games
Come on the forum and chat
Call a friend
Go for a walk, even if just around the house
Listen to music through headphones
Pat my pets
Make a comforting drink / food
Tidy out a messy drawer
Watch some comedy
Do my nails/hair (I know when I'm getting desperate doing this one!)

Just break up that hour, focus on getting through small chunks x
I'm here for you hunny x
 
V

Viktoria

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It's too late, I feel sick :low: but thanks for your kind post...
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

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Ok well now you need to take care of yourself xxxx can you phone your dad? A friend, or get yourself to hospital?
 
M

MYTIMEHASCOME

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I
Mmmmm an hour, you could try breaking it down into smaller time slots - I have a list of distraction methods I use and I go through the list and at least try to do each one for five minutes, sometimes I don't manage 5 minutes, some I manage longer. Here's some from my list ;
Have a bath
Write a letter
Play some pointless online games
Come on the forum and chat
Call a friend
Go for a walk, even if just around the house
Listen to music through headphones
Pat my pets
Make a comforting drink / food
Tidy out a messy drawer
Watch some comedy
Do my nails/hair (I know when I'm getting desperate doing this one!)

Just break up that hour, focus on getting through small chunks x
I'm here for you hunny x
Hey lovely girl

I told u in a message how I wanted to end my life and your response was to tell me not to do it - which is really heartwarming as you clearly are in a bad place yourself - so I'd just like to say - although I don't know you really well at the moment I learnt enough in that one message to know your a lovely person and a caring person - so please don't do it - and feel free to message me if you want xxx
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

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Viktoria, I imagine you're no longer alone at house? Hope you're safe and I'm sorry my replies have been a bit scarce :hug:

It's nice seeing here someone who lives in the Netherlands :) I wish you the best of luck with the uni application! I remember how nervous I felt when I was making mine, but also excited at the same time.

I understand you're scared, it makes sense; but you'll get through this, even if it doesn't feel this way right now. :hug:

I am a little bit better than the other night; I have my ups and downs, I'm trying to take it as it comes now, if that makes sense. Please, know you can PM if you want a chat or support. I'm thinking of you :hug:
 
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