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update to old problem

H

Hope2727

Member
Joined
Apr 8, 2014
Messages
7
So my ex hasn't come back to my work in a long time. His mom comes sometimes but does not bother me. The last two times they came And went through my lane I bagged their groceries, I didn't ask for help. he used to tell me he thought it was funny when I tried to ignore him ( we went to the same special school of only 18 kids, it was torture) so I thought what's better than just going through the shakes and bagging his crap as fast as I can without backing down?? It worked!! He doesn't step foot in my store anymore!! I still get bad memories of him played in my head sometimes though, I'm not sure if that's normal, it's been 5 years. People have told me that it doesn't matter what he did to me and it could've been worse and that it's just my bpd making things big. I don't see how what he did Is ok, I never will. I feel like telling myself that someone who I'm not sure what to call it rape? Sexually harassed? Sexually assaulted? Me And brainwashed and told me I was ugly everyday is ok is like I'm lying to myself...that would be telling myself thats normal and anyone can do that to me. Thats holding me back alot. But I don't see him so that's good....
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
I don't recall reading any old threads from you, so sorry if I miss something.

I just want to say, it's really not for other people to say if what he did matters or whether or not your BPD plays any part in the way you feel.
If you feel deeply affected by something, then it was bad. It doesn't matter who has had it worse - that doesn't make your pain any less important.
Basically, it sounds to me as if you've really had your experiences invalidated by others and i'm really sorry that that happened. :hug1:

I'm relieved to hear that your ex no longer comes into your store. You say you didn't ask for help when his mother last came - does that mean that in the past, you'd asked a colleague to serve them?

I wondered also if you'd spoken to anybody "in real life" about the bad experiences you've had? I'm thinking more along the lines of a counsellor.
 
H

HospitalForSouls

Active member
Joined
Feb 5, 2015
Messages
28
Location
Birmingham, UK
As SomersetScorpio says, if your experience was that you felt sexually harassed in some way, then that is your experience and should be respected and valued as such. Often people with BPD are made to feel like they're overreacting. It happens often to me with someone I'm living with, but as a result of the forum I've come to see that a lot of things are often as serious as you think and you're being somewhat invalidated as a result of mh problems. It's positive, however, that you are not in contact with this individual as he sounds like a bit of a sociopath imo. It's probably best to move on and try and take your mind off it, as hard as that is. Go out with friends, treat yourself...whatever you enjoy, just make sure you have distractions so that this isn't an issue that will be constantly trawling through your mind, as I find, if I have ongoing issues running through my head, it can make an episode ten times worse

Stay Safe xx :hug:
 
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