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Unwanted thoughts and images

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Deano84

Member
Joined
May 22, 2019
Messages
12
Location
South Yorkshire
Hi I suffer with numerous mental health issues from health anxiety to pure OCD. I suffer with obsessive thoughts all the time but with these thoughts i have these crazy images in my mind that play out to the thoughts thats in my head. It's like iam dreaming awake, my partner might ask me to carve the meat for the Sunday roast shes made for everyone, carving the meat is probley the only job I have regards helping with the dinner and for me its probley the hardest job to do mentally. As I walk up to the carving knife display and pull out the biggest butcher knife youve seen and as I pull it from the rack and it makes that evil noice as you pull it out that metal on metal noice the shing noice, my mind goes mental I get these crazy thoughts and images in my mind like a full scene from a movie ive just created to go and kill every one in the room and then dispose of there bodys but it's so vivid and real in my mind what it would look like if I did it.... All this just from carving meat for Sunday roast, it drains me, but it does it all the time from driving my car to putting a picture up on the wall any object that could cause harm as soon as I hold it i get possessed and get mental images in my mind.... just wanted to share this and see if anyone else suffers with this it would be great to hear other peoples stories if anyone does have this thanks for reading my thread x
 
Sorry state

Sorry state

Well-known member
Joined
May 18, 2019
Messages
129
Location
Hampshire
Yes I can relate, although my experience is not anywhere near as intense as yours sounds.
I've always assumed it was about being aware of choices that normal people aren't aware they're making and also about my desire to make a change or have an impact, to make me feel like I have some control over my world. Strangely (maybe worryingly) it's always negative actions. When I used to travel in London a lot I was always aware that I could really easily just push someone in front of a train on the underground. Just that small act of a quick shove would send ripples out into the world and other people's lives. I was never actually tempted to do these things, just aware that I having the choice and power.
Don't know if any of this makes sense.
 
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