Unusual what if

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Southerngirl88

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
1
Location
NC
#1
I have been diagnosed with OCD and see a counselor regularly. My OCD manifests itself in various ways. I have 2 young boys, ages 2 years and 5 months old. When I became pregnant with my older son, I had this thought- “do boys love their moms?” I have sisters, no brothers, and since I am a woman (and I know I love my mom), I can never know how a man or boy feels about his mom. I am constantly triggered when people say things like “a daughter is a daughter for life, a son until he finds a wife”

My counselor said I shouldn’t seek reassurance. I know little boys love their mom, but I fear they won’t care about me or be close to me when they grow up, like a daughter would. I fear that this is a “thing”- that men don’t love their mothers, that they can’t, they never have, and everyone knows it. I am subtly but constantly seeking reassurance on the topic. Googling, asking men about their relationship with their mom, etc etc. I feel satisfied temporarily, only to forget or doubt all that reassurance soon after.

It just makes me sad to think my boys won’t love me or have a relationship with me when they grow up. I know it’s selfish, because it’s not all about me. I love them unconditionally. But family is important to me. It also makes me said to think I may never have a daughter, who I think might stay closer to her family when she’s an adult.

My counselor would tell me to say - “it might be true. Men may not love their mothers.” It makes me sad.

Another fear is that I said the wrong thing, offended someone, or embarrassed myself. I’m constantly replaying conversations and thinking about how I might have said the wrong thing. It terrifies me.

Does anyone have similar fears?
 
ReverieAnxiety

ReverieAnxiety

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
321
Location
California, USA
#2
Hi Southerngirl88!

So sorry to hear about what you're going through and it's definitely anxiety! Anxiety can make you think some far fetched things. It seems like your mind is pretty much in the future. I know one thing for sure; I'm terrible at predicting the future. In fact, it's gotten me into trouble because I create such clumsy plans for myself. When you constantly think about the future or get stuck in the past, you miss out on living in the present. I hope you feel better! Please lemme know how you're doing sometimes!

-Reverie
 
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herbcookie

Member
Joined
Feb 17, 2019
Messages
9
Location
Scotland
#3
This is ROCD/Relationship OCD, it's not unusual! Now that you know the name of it, maybe you can find resources on how to deal with it :)
 
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Ramson bangers

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
1,394
Location
England
#4
Hi southerngirl,
I think your counselor is full of shit. I have no idea where that idea springs from but boys DO love thier mothers. Dont worry about saying the wrong things its a very common fear most people have.