- Apr 24, 2020
Hello. I am new here and I need some clarity. I've had severe anxiety issues for years, but I always felt like something else was wrong. I come from a broken home. I was around the age of 8 when I first self mutilated. I fell into a horrible depression at 13 years old and told all of my friends that I was grounded. Through the years, I had issues with substance abuse and even got arrested a few times (DUIs and all). I have always seemed to get myself into toxic relationships with every intention of leaving. I feel guilty about things that I did in the past (even as a kid) and feel anxious most of the time. I just feel like emotions are always imbalanced and lost. I do not want to kill myself, but I feel like I would not mind if a tsunami came and wiped me out. I know that this is not healthy thinking or feeling. I have been through a lot in my life and overcome a lot of obstacles. I feel like my psychiatrist is helpful, but she does not understand like other people who are going through the same issues as me. Can anyone relate to what I am going through? I feel like I have borderline personality disorder.