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Unsure on how should I proceed

F

footy_addict45

New member
Joined
Nov 16, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Serbia
So,I'm trynna make it short as possible.
Everything started 2 years ago after my summer trip, when I developed the first symptoms of OCD (Pure-O to be more precise). Before that, due to my rough childhood, as I grew up, my personality and mind-set could be more and more related to the one of an overthinking person and that has left a serious impact on my current life. Pure-O was mainly related to these unwanted and intrusive sexual thoughts related to my sister that have faded right now since I left my parents house and got some kind of semi-self treatment due to the difficulties that COVID-19 has brought. Unfortunately, other types of intrusive thoughts overlapped with the ones related to my sister. The same thing stood for my grandmother when I was living with her (not that heavily though), for little girls that I would randomly see on streets, and also for my male friends/or any other dude (which is the biggest issue right now). I am completely aware of the OCD cycle, how it
works, what I should avoid and how I should perceive it, but honestly I don't think that it is enough, since I previously went through the same thing, and all these solutions haven't proved to be 100% effective, thoughts just fade because
of not seeing that person quite often, mentality and mindset are same. Now for the previous issue, I have visited psychoterapists, but honestly I don't believe them that much, needless to say how much money and time it is required
to have one. I have never been into drugs and that stuff, but I feel like that either some kind of medicine or drug could help me putting this shit on its lowest minimum. It's everyday present and I cannot hope with it anymore, because
it affects all fields of my life and I could say that I already lost a tiny piece of hope that I previously had. For the first time in a while, today I spent the majority of my day thinking about it. Changing of mentality and the way of
thinking is obviously a marathon, not a sprint, but I'm ready to sacrifice anything if someone could promise me that after couple of months I'm gonna be done with this. Someone that went through this himself, not some kind of therapist,
since they follow only the science-related procedures which are proven to be too general in solving each one of issue. I just want to enjoy in the moment and in everyday life like a lot of people do, but are not aware of that.
 
B

basil and oregano

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 9, 2021
Messages
259
Location
Athens, Greece
I've had OCD for quite some time now (about fifteen years) and, basically, all I can say is that there is a specific significance to the intrusive thoughts. That's what I personally believe, though I'm obviously not a professional - what I wrote might be completely wrong. They are there for a reason, it's you trying to tell yourself something important, usually something that is painful, something that frightens you, something you don't really want to look at. Because it's easier, let's say, to wash your hands all the time (something I do) than think back to e.g. your experience at school.

I personally believe that the only thing that can help is, indeed, therapy, and mostly, the psychoanalytical/psychodynamic approach. Other kinds of therapy might help you alleviate the symptoms, but they'll rarely get to the root of the problem. I know how expensive it can be and, believe me, I really understand your scepticism, but analysis has helped me to a certain extent.

You are basically to ask yourself: "Yes, I do have these thoughts, yes, it is the illness, but why? Why these specific thoughts, and not other types of thought? Why do these people in particular trigger the thoughts?" et.c. You must examine yourself this way, that's what I think.

Medication can take away the excess anxiety that fuels the inner OCD, but it doesn't take away the mental structure. That has to be dealt with through talking.

Wish you the best of luck in getting better! And, if you do decide to go to therapy, do your best to find a good therapist to work with. I've had my share of bad experiences and it doesn't help.
 
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