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Unsure if a narcissist

Am I a narcissist


  • Total voters
    6
D

DaveSanta999

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Feb 9, 2020
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7
Location
England
So first off my dad is definitely narcissistic and maybe a sociopath but I’m not sure about that one. But he is annoying to talk to, always brags about the things he has and everything he has is the best and he is the perfect human being. Also he has a criminal past and doesn’t seem to get stressed about doing things that might be risky, such as lying, cheating and so on. Also he does get aggressive and likes to fight people
Well I’m a 22 year old male and I’m wondering if I myself do suffer from NPD however I’m definitely not a sociopath or anything like that. Also I do suffer from bad anxiety.
I daydream a lot about being successful, rich, impressing people, etc. Impressing people is a big thing for me probably I love to make people think I’m cool, rich, successful, etc. However when I know someone is more successful than me or has achieved something I haven’t I don’t like being around them, and if I am then I tend to be quiet. However when I’m around people I know that I have achieved more than them, then I tend to be a lot more talkative. Also when I daydream I often listen to music, yeah I know cringe.

I am very self conscious I guess and I’m asking this question if I do have NPD because I kind of deep down want to have a condition like that. I’m fascinated with psychopaths and sociopaths because they’re different and they’re fearless. People such as Charles Manson, I love to watch videos of him but I am not a sociopath or psychopath that’s for sure. However reading about narcissism I think that fits me possibly. I hate when my friends are successful or achieve something but I thrive when they fail, yeah I know I’m a shit person probably.

Another thing is I am bad with girls, but I did have a girlfriend and I only asked her out because I knew she was into me. I tried to be all good to her, treat her well and impress her until we became official. When we became official she’d be very clingy, and I became very distant and uninterested in her and always came up with excuses not to meet her. It just felt pointless to me because it’s as if I achieved getting her and after that I became very unmotivated to pursue her. Obviously in the end the relationship ended and I felt great because I felt free, however, I heard she was depressed for 6 months after the relationship ended.
Also my ego is very unstable sometimes I feel ugly, sometimes I feel like the most good looking guy ever. One I’m feeling depressed and ugly I tend to be very low energy. But when I’m in good mood and feeling good looking I’m a lot higher in energy. However, I do love any sort of compliments thar definitely make my mood better.
The only thing I’m confused about is that I can’t think of any childhood trauma I had. Like yeah my parents would argue a lot and as a kid that was a very scary thing but that doesn’t make someone a narcissist. My dad never had time for me but my mum was a good parent even a bit strict I’d say.

So could I possibly be a narcissist or am I just a shit fucked up person lol
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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sounds like your dad has brainwashed you into his delusion lol

when aliens came to earth in war of the words movie a homeless man sneezed on them and they all got sick and died. a worthless bum who has achieved nothing saved the whole planet. and what did all the narcissists do? they ran and hid haha
 
Bipolarbear808

Bipolarbear808

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Hi Dave,

Carl Jung believed that narcissism exist on a continuum, so we are all narcissistic to some degree. It just depends on how mild or extreme someone's narcissism is. As far as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) goes, based on the information you've given, doesn't sound like you have it. One reason I say that is because when you meet someone more successful than yourself you realize it, and it sounds like you might actually feel intimidated by them. Someone with NPD has an inflated sense of superiority and wouldn't feel intimidated by them, at most they would view that person as an equal. Another reason is that your self image seems to fluctuate and someone with NPD would be confident is their superiority. It sounds like you're a very self aware person and I think that you exhibit fairly normal behavior for a 22 year old. Anyway thats just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.
 
D

DaveSanta999

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England
sounds like your dad has brainwashed you into his delusion lol

when aliens came to earth in war of the words movie a homeless man sneezed on them and they all got sick and died. a worthless bum who has achieved nothing saved the whole planet. and what did all the narcissists do? they ran and hid haha
well he couldn’t have brainwashed me as I never had a close relationship with him or anything so I doubt that
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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well he couldn’t have brainwashed me as I never had a close relationship with him or anything so I doubt that
brain evolved in 3 stages:

1609553373108.jpeg

the emotions are in the middle mammal brain. if the emotions are reduced then the lower reptile brain runs too strongly and doesnt get tempered by the emotions. so then poeple are more driven by their reptile brain to seek power over others which increases their serotonin

with the emotions running properly we will just seek power by trying to gain more friends and cooperate more with larger groups etc... so the drive for power gets tempered and intergrated by the social emotional level.
 
D

DaveSanta999

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brain evolved in 3 stages:

View attachment 40790

the emotions are in the middle, mid brain mammal. if the emotions are reduced then the lower reptile brain runs too strongly and doesnt get tempered by the emotions. so then poeple are more driven by their reptile brain to seek power over others.

with the emotions running properly they will just seek power by trying to gain more friends and cooperate more with larger groups etc... so the drive for power gets tempered and intergrated by the social emotional level.
okay but I asked if I could possibly be narcissistic
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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okay but I asked if I could possibly be narcissistic
everyone is. we are driven to increase power by our reptile brain which controls the serotonin.

question is if its being integrated by your emotions enough. if so then you would not be willing to sacrifice social emotional rewards for superiority over others. if the emotions are diminished then the person will choose the superiority over others for the serotonin. instead of increasing the social bonding and cooperation to raise the power/serotonin.
 
Prozac1984

Prozac1984

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Narcissism exist on a continuum, with that in mind, it seems to me that you have the thoughts of a vulnerable narcissist.

I've read that the "Schadenfreude" feeling is strongest in them.

The bright side is that they are more self aware, which it seems you are.

It is better to take advantage of the fact that you are still young and begin treatment, as this way of thinking tends to bring temporary pleasure, but it deteriorates life over time.



My childhood ex-friend has this condition (abusive mother, absent father ...) as long as I can remember.
Despite coming from a wealthy and good-looking family, today at 37, he only had one girlfriend, 2 or 3 "friends" ( that i bet he hates), has serious problems with depression, anxiety, uses drugs, and has suicidal ideas.

I know that each case is a case, and that it is a spectrum, but excesive narcissism always brings problems in the long run.
 
M

MHFPokeplantz

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I voted No but not expecting thered be only 'no' votes

In MY VIEW it seems you have MILD chances of having NPD, its not very likely (by same reasons the other ppl mentioned here. NPDs tend to have insecurities but overall twy have grandiosity, UNREALISTIC, in your case you are aware of a lot, even in the behaviors), but I still think it could be good to make sure, going deeper into it to know, because there are some characteristics anyway, so its TOO CLOSE to the disorder
 
P

Purpleplum

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I would say that you have some narcissistic traits but not NPD. I have known those with NPD as well as those with just some narcissistic traits. You do not want NPD. They are sad, shattered people with no conscience.

Those with NPD do not wonder if they are a narcissist.
 
M

Mary26

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Feb 28, 2018
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No, it sounds like you don't have a lot of self esteem and you're trying to prove to yourself (and I think to your dad) that you're good enough. I'm sorry, I know I sound like an armchair psychologist but wanting approval from our parents is just a basic human thing and if he was so wrapped up in himself did he even know you were there? Cause it's tough to grow up like that.
 
Empish

Empish

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Messages
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So first off my dad is definitely narcissistic and maybe a sociopath but I’m not sure about that one. But he is annoying to talk to, always brags about the things he has and everything he has is the best and he is the perfect human being. Also he has a criminal past and doesn’t seem to get stressed about doing things that might be risky, such as lying, cheating and so on. Also he does get aggressive and likes to fight people
Well I’m a 22 year old male and I’m wondering if I myself do suffer from NPD however I’m definitely not a sociopath or anything like that. Also I do suffer from bad anxiety.
I daydream a lot about being successful, rich, impressing people, etc. Impressing people is a big thing for me probably I love to make people think I’m cool, rich, successful, etc. However when I know someone is more successful than me or has achieved something I haven’t I don’t like being around them, and if I am then I tend to be quiet. However when I’m around people I know that I have achieved more than them, then I tend to be a lot more talkative. Also when I daydream I often listen to music, yeah I know cringe.

I am very self conscious I guess and I’m asking this question if I do have NPD because I kind of deep down want to have a condition like that. I’m fascinated with psychopaths and sociopaths because they’re different and they’re fearless. People such as Charles Manson, I love to watch videos of him but I am not a sociopath or psychopath that’s for sure. However reading about narcissism I think that fits me possibly. I hate when my friends are successful or achieve something but I thrive when they fail, yeah I know I’m a shit person probably.

Another thing is I am bad with girls, but I did have a girlfriend and I only asked her out because I knew she was into me. I tried to be all good to her, treat her well and impress her until we became official. When we became official she’d be very clingy, and I became very distant and uninterested in her and always came up with excuses not to meet her. It just felt pointless to me because it’s as if I achieved getting her and after that I became very unmotivated to pursue her. Obviously in the end the relationship ended and I felt great because I felt free, however, I heard she was depressed for 6 months after the relationship ended.
Also my ego is very unstable sometimes I feel ugly, sometimes I feel like the most good looking guy ever. One I’m feeling depressed and ugly I tend to be very low energy. But when I’m in good mood and feeling good looking I’m a lot higher in energy. However, I do love any sort of compliments thar definitely make my mood better.
The only thing I’m confused about is that I can’t think of any childhood trauma I had. Like yeah my parents would argue a lot and as a kid that was a very scary thing but that doesn’t make someone a narcissist. My dad never had time for me but my mum was a good parent even a bit strict I’d say.

So could I possibly be a narcissist or am I just a shit fucked up person lol
You might just have low self esteem and a big ego. The reason I say that is because I don't think narcissists suffer from anxiety...they are too full of themselves (correct me if I'm wrong). Or you might be a low spectrum narcissist.
 
Empish

Empish

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You might just have low self esteem and a big ego. The reason I say that is because I don't think narcissists suffer from anxiety...they are too full of themselves (correct me if I'm wrong). Or you might be a low spectrum narcissist.
Also I think for a narcissist to be open to discussing whether or not he might be one is very rare.
 
C

Charliedragonfly

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To me, you sound insecure & like you have low self esteem. Maybe you have grown up only being properly noticed when you achieve something, which is why you are so goal oriented & why compliments boost your self esteem so much.

It sounds like a therapist could really help you live a more emotionally stable & happy life, but you’d have to be open to what they say or it wouldn’t work.

I don’t think you’re narcissistic, narcissists are always self absorbed etc like others say.

It’s also important to note that it is traumatic for a child to witness several familial arguments during childhood - a lack of stability can be very traumatising. My parents used to shout at me and argue a lot and it was traumatic.

Whether you do or don’t have NPD, it sounds like you have a lot of work to do regarding how you view others, we are all equal and that was a hard lesson for myself to learn at one point. Once you stop using others achievements and failures as something to validate yourself, the better off you’ll be, although admittedly it does take time & hard work to change those habits.

I wish you luck :)
 
Empish

Empish

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Whether you do or don’t have NPD, it sounds like you have a lot of work to do regarding how you view others, we are all equal and that was a hard lesson for myself to learn at one point. Once you stop using others achievements and failures as something to validate yourself, the better off you’ll be, although admittedly it does take time & hard work to change those habits.
I agree and see people around me all the time who are constantly comparing themselves to others and wondering where they are in the pecking order. It looks so weird from my perspective..I just look at them and think..'why are you doing that?' it's so unnecessary, and you would be so much happier if you didn't. It's like they have some kind of software in their heads and I just want to lift the lid and pluck it out. Wayne Dyer, a well known self help author touched on this in one of his talks. I would highly recommend anyone who has this kind of problem look him up. One of his most famous books is called 'Know your Erroneous Zones'. I believe it was a massive best seller decades ago.
 

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