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Unknown Personality Disorder

  • Thread starter AlyssaTheBandDemigoddess
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A

AlyssaTheBandDemigoddess

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I feel broken. Literally, sometimes I feel like my personality is split into multiple parts. This is really apparent when I'm texting on a discord server. I've come into contact with multiple people with OSDD on that server and I feel like what I'm doing is similar to that in the sense of "alters" but not with anything else. Sometimes I genuinely feel like a completely different person, while still being...me?

This isn't just limited to my own sense of identity, but my personality and mood too. To help me cope with this, I've come up with a few "alters" on my own that embody my personalities.

Alyssa: My preferred name (not legal yet as I'm closeted trans)
Me, more or less. Happy, sad, angry, all of them can be Alyssa. However she's mostly classified as a motherly, affectionate, and empathetic.
Oliver: One of my "alters". A demiboy that's mainly just hateful. Disrespectful, and rude. Likes to pick on the others in this "system" by directly insulting them. I also associate him with who I am when I'm playing video games, but not always.
Dawn: A demigirl. She's cheerful, happy, and possibly an age regressor. (Idk i just feel younger when I'm her). She tends to be very carefree and is more or less incapable of thinking about anything that is sad.
Eos: Nonbinary. A mediator kind of? If Oliver is ever attacking someone they step in and force Oliver to stop, either by talking to him or just forcing him out from "fronting". Also tends to be there when anxiety, depression, or stress is making it hard for Alyssa to function. Eos is able to function better under those scenarios.
Ceres: Agender, cold, calculating, and knowledgeable. Doesn't care for anyone or anything. Possibly suicidal, and tends to "want to sleep" rather than "fronting".

Every word I put in quotes is because I don't believe I have DID/OSDD. Therefore I don't like using those terms as if I do. These people are all still "me" in the sense that I don't dissociate when switching between them, and I don't have any memory of major trauma from my childhood. None of those "people" are memory holders either. The only trauma I've experienced was actually relatively recently, I got in my first car crash this past December, which shook me up pretty good.

I just want to reiterate that I don't think I have DID/OSDD. I would just like to know if anyone has any idea what this COULD be, it would be greatly appreciated. I'm also more than willing to give any follow up information.
 
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toto

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And since when have you been with so many personalities? After the accident or before it? Being able to enter skirts is very good. I can't take on the role of a business woman and that's a big problem. : D I would choose one of these characters and I would accept it as my own. Wasn't the accident a reason to think about whether you should change to a more responsible one, but still be a child, entering different roles / characters?
 
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JeanPierre

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I live with pain and I feel my mind has now broken.
On the other hand, I can change into whomever I need to be.
The work me.
The drink after work me.
The parent me.
The grandparent me.
I will kill you if you hurt me me....
Etc.
Is that was you kind of mean?
 
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toto

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"I will kill you if you hurt me me ...." I have no intention of making fun of you. I really have a problem getting into roles. I just wanted to understand this disease and help you.
 
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toto

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When I work with clients or meet with children's teachers / in institutions, I behave like a shy student. Otherwise I am sociable, I have no such worries.
 
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toto

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I decided that you were the author of the topic, I did not pay attention to the name. It's time to go to bed, because I hadn't written for so long and it's obvious that I've gone too far with the phone.:)
 
A

AlyssaTheBandDemigoddess

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And since when have you been with so many personalities? After the accident or before it? Being able to enter skirts is very good. I can't take on the role of a business woman and that's a big problem. : D I would choose one of these characters and I would accept it as my own. Wasn't the accident a reason to think about whether you should change to a more responsible one, but still be a child, entering different roles / characters?
It was after the accident.
 
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AlyssaTheBandDemigoddess

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I live with pain and I feel my mind has now broken.
On the other hand, I can change into whomever I need to be.
The work me.
The drink after work me.
The parent me.
The grandparent me.
I will kill you if you hurt me me....
Etc.
Is that was you kind of mean?
Kind of? But at the same time these "me's" can talk to each other...
 
T

toto

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Well, there are two options - to hurt a part of the brain and to glide slightly (but it's interesting, psychosis seems to be the only variety in my life. :)), the other is to be startled and just need therapy. I'm starting to think that the difference between borderline and schizophrenia depends on whether your voices respond adequately if you talk to them or not. It is good to look for a specialist and hear his opinion.
 
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toto

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That's what I've heard about borderline. That by working with repressed aggression the aim is to create some average character, a combination between all personalities. If you have to be serious, can you ignore them?
 
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AlyssaTheBandDemigoddess

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That's what I've heard about borderline. That by working with repressed aggression the aim is to create some average character, a combination between all personalities. If you have to be serious, can you ignore them?
They don't really affect me, it only really becomes apparent when I'm alone. And that's on top of the depression, anxiety, or stress, so it kind of masks it
 
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