A
AlyssaTheBandDemigoddess
Member
I feel broken. Literally, sometimes I feel like my personality is split into multiple parts. This is really apparent when I'm texting on a discord server. I've come into contact with multiple people with OSDD on that server and I feel like what I'm doing is similar to that in the sense of "alters" but not with anything else. Sometimes I genuinely feel like a completely different person, while still being...me?
This isn't just limited to my own sense of identity, but my personality and mood too. To help me cope with this, I've come up with a few "alters" on my own that embody my personalities.
Alyssa: My preferred name (not legal yet as I'm closeted trans)
Me, more or less. Happy, sad, angry, all of them can be Alyssa. However she's mostly classified as a motherly, affectionate, and empathetic.
Oliver: One of my "alters". A demiboy that's mainly just hateful. Disrespectful, and rude. Likes to pick on the others in this "system" by directly insulting them. I also associate him with who I am when I'm playing video games, but not always.
Dawn: A demigirl. She's cheerful, happy, and possibly an age regressor. (Idk i just feel younger when I'm her). She tends to be very carefree and is more or less incapable of thinking about anything that is sad.
Eos: Nonbinary. A mediator kind of? If Oliver is ever attacking someone they step in and force Oliver to stop, either by talking to him or just forcing him out from "fronting". Also tends to be there when anxiety, depression, or stress is making it hard for Alyssa to function. Eos is able to function better under those scenarios.
Ceres: Agender, cold, calculating, and knowledgeable. Doesn't care for anyone or anything. Possibly suicidal, and tends to "want to sleep" rather than "fronting".
Every word I put in quotes is because I don't believe I have DID/OSDD. Therefore I don't like using those terms as if I do. These people are all still "me" in the sense that I don't dissociate when switching between them, and I don't have any memory of major trauma from my childhood. None of those "people" are memory holders either. The only trauma I've experienced was actually relatively recently, I got in my first car crash this past December, which shook me up pretty good.
I just want to reiterate that I don't think I have DID/OSDD. I would just like to know if anyone has any idea what this COULD be, it would be greatly appreciated. I'm also more than willing to give any follow up information.
This isn't just limited to my own sense of identity, but my personality and mood too. To help me cope with this, I've come up with a few "alters" on my own that embody my personalities.
Alyssa: My preferred name (not legal yet as I'm closeted trans)
Me, more or less. Happy, sad, angry, all of them can be Alyssa. However she's mostly classified as a motherly, affectionate, and empathetic.
Oliver: One of my "alters". A demiboy that's mainly just hateful. Disrespectful, and rude. Likes to pick on the others in this "system" by directly insulting them. I also associate him with who I am when I'm playing video games, but not always.
Dawn: A demigirl. She's cheerful, happy, and possibly an age regressor. (Idk i just feel younger when I'm her). She tends to be very carefree and is more or less incapable of thinking about anything that is sad.
Eos: Nonbinary. A mediator kind of? If Oliver is ever attacking someone they step in and force Oliver to stop, either by talking to him or just forcing him out from "fronting". Also tends to be there when anxiety, depression, or stress is making it hard for Alyssa to function. Eos is able to function better under those scenarios.
Ceres: Agender, cold, calculating, and knowledgeable. Doesn't care for anyone or anything. Possibly suicidal, and tends to "want to sleep" rather than "fronting".
Every word I put in quotes is because I don't believe I have DID/OSDD. Therefore I don't like using those terms as if I do. These people are all still "me" in the sense that I don't dissociate when switching between them, and I don't have any memory of major trauma from my childhood. None of those "people" are memory holders either. The only trauma I've experienced was actually relatively recently, I got in my first car crash this past December, which shook me up pretty good.
I just want to reiterate that I don't think I have DID/OSDD. I would just like to know if anyone has any idea what this COULD be, it would be greatly appreciated. I'm also more than willing to give any follow up information.