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Understanding the Borderline Mother book question

  • Thread starter Concerned Parent in NJ 2
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C

Concerned Parent in NJ 2

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Hi!

I'm thinking of getting the book Understanding the Borderline Mother. I am looking for understanding and empowerment to end my relationship with my mother. She is not as severe as some other cases but is ruining my life, marriage, and I want her away from my kids. Do others have experience with this book? Does it encourage ending or staying in relationships with BPD mothers? I don't want to pretend that this relationship can go on and am hoping for help in leaving...
Thanks so much!
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I think the most important person here is you. Maybe your mum needs you but there are other people, maybe only professionals, but there are people who can help her IF you are not able to.

The point is, can you cope with her? Can you cope with her, if you see her less than currently?

It is better you are in one anothers life, i personally believe, but she needs to be at a safe enough distance mentally, for you both to be happy.

If you cannot cope with her at the moment, you can tell her to get some counselling or have a rest and try to help herself feel better, happier and calmer. In the meantime, you can exchange a letter. Social media may not be as calm as a letter in the post, photographs, kids paintings.

I have not read the book but i have a mum with a mental illness and her behaviour can be very trying now, in the past it had me in tears and so upset i would call in sick to work, it was that bad at time. I don't live with her now, i do see her but i have set very firm ground rules for her.
 
C

Concerned Parent in NJ 2

New member
Joined
Oct 21, 2020
Messages
3
Location
New Jersey
I think the most important person here is you. Maybe your mum needs you but there are other people, maybe only professionals, but there are people who can help her IF you are not able to.

The point is, can you cope with her? Can you cope with her, if you see her less than currently?

It is better you are in one anothers life, i personally believe, but she needs to be at a safe enough distance mentally, for you both to be happy.

If you cannot cope with her at the moment, you can tell her to get some counselling or have a rest and try to help herself feel better, happier and calmer. In the meantime, you can exchange a letter. Social media may not be as calm as a letter in the post, photographs, kids paintings.

I have not read the book but i have a mum with a mental illness and her behaviour can be very trying now, in the past it had me in tears and so upset i would call in sick to work, it was that bad at time. I don't live with her now, i do see her but i have set very firm ground rules for her.
Thank you very much! Hugs and best wishes to you as well.
 
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