Understanding and accepting diagnosis.

A

Aprilbella

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Hi all. :)
I've been diagnosed as having Bipolar for the last 15 years or so.
I have had an ongoing problem understanding thia in relation to how I see my past, present, and future. I often find myself thinking that the Bipolar diagnosis means that the trauma I suffered in the past is no longer valid in how it affected me since the diagnosis. I think it means that everything ive gone through is just a chemical inbalance in my brain. So then I find myself being very non compassionate towards myself and I can't look at my life clearly. It also makes me repress alot of my feelings towards the people who contributed towards my trauma. I dont want to blame them but I don't want to repress either.
I know all this sounds very child like and distorted but I can't seem to shake off this perspective.
Any advise and help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. :)
 
calypso

calypso

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I would say that your past trauma and the bipolar diagnosis don't necessarily have to be linked. The trauma needs to be dealt with and repression, as you say, is not the way to go with that. It just gets stronger in us trying to gain our attention if we deny it.

I am diagnosed bipolar too and see it as a separate entity to other problems in my life. But where it gets confusing is when the bipolar high or depression mean we dwell on the trauma of the past as part of the illness. Its when it rears its ugly head in us and we have to deal with it.

You aren't child like at all, its valid questions you bring up.
 
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Aprilbella

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Aug 28, 2019
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Calypso, thanks so much for your reply. I kept meaning to thankyou but realised I'd forgotten.
You have explained things better and reaasured me better than any therapist has ever done.
Thanks again. :)
 
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