Uncontrollable fear of dying

[Summer91]

I've always been a worrier even as a kid, I'm now almost 21 and the uncontrollable fear of something happening to me or anyone close is getting unbearable. I havnt booked a doctors appointment because I will feel idiotic explaining it and sometimes I feel fine, usually in the daytime. I find it hard to sleep alot and will be fine then for no reason have the uncontrollable feeling something terrible is going to happen and I have no control. It's like a rising fear which I need to escape but their is no way out of. When driving home at night I can 'see' horrible accidents happening and Im convinced there is something wrong with me health wise..I know I'm being stupid but I cant stop it in my head..does anyone feel or has felt the same?or have any tips for keeping horrible thoughts at bay?thanks

 

[Robbert]

Yeah I've often felt the same in the past.

Thing to do is to just 'feel' it. Let the feeling come over you; the feeling isn't going to harm you. It's about how you react to it.

Do you know much about the practice of 'mindfulness'? It's an eastern practice that's now being adopted somewhat by clinical psychology. Buy a good book on it, it might really help. Personally I find it much more helpful for this sort of stuff than C.B.T.

It's also experience. I've had a few people die on me recently - the fear doesn't feel the same after a while. And I'm 23, so your sort of age.

Eventually you'll just accept it. What can we do anyway? There's nothing we can do. If it happens, it happens.

I hope that's of some help. It probably isn't. But its my perspective on it. I would recommend a good book, it sounds like mindfulness may really help you X

 

[supersweep]

Hye summer 91 and welcome to the forum. I have a dreadful fear of dying
when i go to sleep so i really sympathize with you.
I was seeing a psychologist and she would say to me . Where is your
proof that this is going to happenm has anything actually happened
to you. This seemed a very harsh approach, but I think she was hoping
that over time I start believing that nothing had actually happened
thgat these were just dreadful fears and thoughts i had but they weren't
actually real. Sorry summer 91 i hope this is of some help, i know these fears
are very real to you. Have you got someone to talk to about this.To be totally honest with you i still have my fears aboput dying when i go to sleep, but there is sense on what the psychologist said, which
does help a small bit.
take care,
supersweep

 

[Hippychic]

Hi,

I also have this terrible fear of dying, have had it since I was about 6 years old. Unfortunately I did come extremely close to dying after giving birth to my daughter due to complications. Since then the anxiety has been absolutley immense. It has just fuelled it so much. My husband and I really believed I was going to die, I still can't actually believe I'm here now.

I'm afraid I don't have any answers to how we can stop these awful thoughts. My only technique that works sometimes is that when I get a thought about it, I stop the thought from developing by thinking 'NO!' in my head (some people prefer to say it aloud) it's not exactly that I'm trying to fight it but I'm just trying to give it less importance, like 'NO! I'm not interested in you, go away'. I guess this is different from other advice you might get, you just need to see what works best for you. It doesn't really work if you are in the throes of extreme anxiety though (in my experience) but it's best for stopping it developing once it has calmed down a little.

I know how horrible it is take care

 

[Summer91]

Thank you everyone who has taken the time to write back i really appreciate it! Even knowing there are others who can relate seems like a massive step in the right direction and I will definatly be trying out all your suggestions. Thanks xx

 

[Goalna1985]

hi summer91

My fear of dying started when o was 9 yrs old. Im now 26 its a horrible feeling, it had made my life so miserable since then. Every day I think of death n makes me so anxious. .. have terrible anxiety attacks...
N definitely not enjoying my life..... I tried therapy n didn't work. Its just horrible.

 

[megirl]

Hi there,
I started having this feeling probably 10 months ago, would be just about drifting off to sleep with my quetiapine then bang it was like I woke up terrified It was like someone was jumping on my chest, it didnt help that hubby sleeps in a different bed due to not wanting to disturb my sleep.
Anyway I couldnt yell, scream nothing it was awful.
Just sheer panic.
Well For me my psych doc started me on diazepam with my night time meds and it just seems to take that anxiety away. Funny I always say I arent scared to die guess noone really wants to die. Can you talk to your doc asap? this is something you need to get sorted.

 

[pentagram]

I used to be afraid of dying, but now I think it'll be interesting. Are my senses of my dead loved one all an ideal dream? I am dying to find out,

No reason though to experience it before my time is up.

happy life

 

[MrFozz]

For me, I was never scared of death until recently, when I was a teenager I was quite dangerous, I had no fear of death at that time.

Now, I am developing a fear of death, I have getting into my mind that I am destined for something big, I really believe my destiny is towards something I will become famous for and talked about long after my death as part of history, and it scares the shit out of me that I may possibly never get to leave my mark on society

 

[daffy]

I used to get awful thoughts about dying but the worse ones were when i thought something really bad would happen to my children and now grandchildren. These thoughts were beginning to rule my life and i couldnt sleep cos every dream involved something dreadful happening. I talked about this with my p/doc and she said it was called 'catastrophic thought syndrome'. And was a medical condition like any other MH problem. She suggested i had psychotherapy and it really helped me realise why i was having these thoughts and how to cope with them. They are now much under control and only get really bad when i am in a depressive state.
Talk to your GP and see if there is any therapy that you can have to help you come to terms with this awful problem.

Good luck

 

[Matrix]

I used to fear Dying, but for me it may mean I'll see my folks again. I truly hope so

N

 

[angelk01]

Hello Summer91, I feel the same too. The best thing
for me when i feel like that is talk to my family or friends
when i feel down and maybe that might help you or try to
watch t.v. or speak to someone like a counsellor by being referred
by your g.p. All the best. xxx

 

[creamcheese]

Hi

When I was a kid, I had two fears in regards to dying. The first one was being buried alive. After watching the 1990 movie "Buried Alive", it became a fear of mine for years. The second biggest fear was cancer.

I don't have these fears anymore but when I watch that movie, those old feelings come back.

Hope you are able to beat your fear.

 

[nicknick39]

Hi Everyone

I have always had a fear of dying my whole life and never sought help and it eats away at me everyday. I dont think its the dying itself, its the unknown and what happens when you die that totally freaks me out. If it was just the fact that when you die thats its fair enough it wouldnt scare me as much but i do believe and always have done that there is life after death and believe in the spirit world. Like i say its all the if, buts and what ifs, im just so scared. Hope i dont sound crazy. I would love any help or support or just if anyone else has these thoughts. Thank you so much for taking time to read. Please feel free to private message me if you feel uncomfortable about posting so people can see it. Nick

 

[The Duellist]

Just keep telling yourself. "It just doesn't matter", "It just doesn't matter".

 

[Jonro]

I've been battling panic attacks due to fear of death since my early 20's. When my Christian wife and I first started dating about 2 years ago I was an atheist. I was also struggling with drug addiction. She told me that God talked to her sometimes and I thought she was crazy, I didn't like for her to even talk about that because it made me uncomfortable. She had been praying that God would bless us because I was an unbeliever and one night she gets excited and says he said "It is done",of course I thought she was nuts. Over the next few weeks God started revealing himself to me. At first I didn't know what was going on but I knew it couldn't be explained, supernatural things was happening. Then one night during a thunderstorm evil shows up in our room. I could feel it moving around the room, i was so scared I couldn't even move. There was messages coming on the tablet screen, one said "Aren't you even gonna try", one said "You're going to hell", I was holding my stomach in the fetal position and an image comes on the screen of a person holding their stomach. About daylight it appeared to be gone so I get up and grab my phone. Electricity arcs from it to my fingertip, up my arm, into my head. I then hear demonic sounding talking and then at that moment the tablet gets a notification, I look at it and it reads "YOU SEE WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO SEE". I tried to pretend like I it didn't happen because It scared me so bad. Then I started having the worst nightmares you could imagine. After the third one I said I couldn't deny it anymore and I got saved and then baptized a few weeks later. Heaven and Hell is very real, take it from the biggest atheist there was. All you have to do is give your life to Jesus and you have nothing to worry about when you die, in fact you will live FOREVER in heaven with God! I would be happy to talk to anyone further, God bless!

 

[Syub40]

Wow Jonro a really fascinating story I’m afraid of death and the unknown, my mam and partner has seen things and aren’t really scared of dying because of that, it helps me abit as I know they wouldn’t lie to me about things like that but it’s still hard

 

[Jonro]

I wish I could help in someway, but it takes faith. You just have to believe that he is with you, God is omnipresent. He isnt in the sky looking down at us, he exists outside of time, space, and matter. He is everywhere and there is nothing that happens in this world that he doesn't know about. Just know that God loves you, you are precious to him. If you turn to Jesus Christ and surrender to him, you will go to heaven, and you will live forever. God is eternal, he has always existed and he always will, and he has given those who believe to his son. Jesus bought us with his blood. Believers in him now belong to him. We are his children and we will have eternal life.
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all ; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”
John 10:27*-‬30 NIV