T
TearyEyedx
Well-known member
My support worker called me today which I wasn’t expecting him to. I woke up feeling a bit okay and then he phoned.
I asked him about seeing a psychologist, I’ve never seen one since being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
He told me that there is two psychologists available in the area, however it would be a year or more waiting on the list and he said I’m not guaranteed a psychologist even if I get a referral.
These two psychologists he was talking about has a past with someone in my family and one of them is highly rude, I had met her at a group setting and I never wanted to hear her name again but he kept saying it, he kept asking me what happened and I was not gonna go into detail about it because it’s really upsetting.
I asked him if I could see someone further away from me, and he said probably not. There was literally no hole in this man’s voice. I was getting upset obviously and he kept asking about the past. I finally broke and told him to stop.
he also went on to tell me that it’s up to the psychologist to take my case. He said he’s away to talk to the team and see what other options I have but he made it clear to me that there wasn’t.
it would be highly unlikely for someone to take my case as it would be challenging for them.. he told me there is no cure for borderline which I already know, but I was the one who brought up the fact that there are medication that can help with the side effects such as anxiety and panic, and he said talking therapy would be in-fact very traumatic at the start which I knew about, but he was soooooo eager to tell me how traumatic it would be. He didn’t say anything positive at all, and this is the guy who’s my support worker!!
I honestly think the universe is trying to tell me I’m not going to get help. Ever. I’ve fought for it for eight years and he’s so negative I feel like crap, I told him I was upset but he didn’t try anything. He kept saying “I’m here to regulate your emotions” and I’m so tired of hearing that stupid words. What does that mean?? I feel worse than I ever did, and I’ve had lots of experiences with the mental health team, and they sometimes have went horribly wrong, but this guy? I can’t believe he’s in charge as he’s one of the most negative people I’ve ever met, by the end of the phone call, I honestly was just saying nothing staring at my mom who was shaking her head as she was frustrated too. I have asked and asked for someone else, but no matter what, that’s not happening. He’s made another appointment with me for next Wednesday, they are so bad, I’m going to record every single one now because I know it’s not normal to feel suicidal after speaking to YOUR support worker, he’s called me four times now and “I’m here to regulate your emotions” is one of his favourite things to say.
I cannot win in this case!! then to put the nail in the coffin as to speak, he told me that it would be those two psychologists who would handle my referral. I would rather die than tell them about my life.... he brings things up over and over which is upsetting to me which I’ve told him to stop. He’s shouted at me in the second phone call which my mom overheard.
I just think I can’t be helped or they don’t want to... but I have no more words because this person who I’ve never met is making me feel worse than anyone else has in my life..
I asked him about seeing a psychologist, I’ve never seen one since being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
He told me that there is two psychologists available in the area, however it would be a year or more waiting on the list and he said I’m not guaranteed a psychologist even if I get a referral.
These two psychologists he was talking about has a past with someone in my family and one of them is highly rude, I had met her at a group setting and I never wanted to hear her name again but he kept saying it, he kept asking me what happened and I was not gonna go into detail about it because it’s really upsetting.
I asked him if I could see someone further away from me, and he said probably not. There was literally no hole in this man’s voice. I was getting upset obviously and he kept asking about the past. I finally broke and told him to stop.
he also went on to tell me that it’s up to the psychologist to take my case. He said he’s away to talk to the team and see what other options I have but he made it clear to me that there wasn’t.
it would be highly unlikely for someone to take my case as it would be challenging for them.. he told me there is no cure for borderline which I already know, but I was the one who brought up the fact that there are medication that can help with the side effects such as anxiety and panic, and he said talking therapy would be in-fact very traumatic at the start which I knew about, but he was soooooo eager to tell me how traumatic it would be. He didn’t say anything positive at all, and this is the guy who’s my support worker!!
I honestly think the universe is trying to tell me I’m not going to get help. Ever. I’ve fought for it for eight years and he’s so negative I feel like crap, I told him I was upset but he didn’t try anything. He kept saying “I’m here to regulate your emotions” and I’m so tired of hearing that stupid words. What does that mean?? I feel worse than I ever did, and I’ve had lots of experiences with the mental health team, and they sometimes have went horribly wrong, but this guy? I can’t believe he’s in charge as he’s one of the most negative people I’ve ever met, by the end of the phone call, I honestly was just saying nothing staring at my mom who was shaking her head as she was frustrated too. I have asked and asked for someone else, but no matter what, that’s not happening. He’s made another appointment with me for next Wednesday, they are so bad, I’m going to record every single one now because I know it’s not normal to feel suicidal after speaking to YOUR support worker, he’s called me four times now and “I’m here to regulate your emotions” is one of his favourite things to say.
I cannot win in this case!! then to put the nail in the coffin as to speak, he told me that it would be those two psychologists who would handle my referral. I would rather die than tell them about my life.... he brings things up over and over which is upsetting to me which I’ve told him to stop. He’s shouted at me in the second phone call which my mom overheard.
I just think I can’t be helped or they don’t want to... but I have no more words because this person who I’ve never met is making me feel worse than anyone else has in my life..