- Nov 24, 2019
- London, UK
Hello all. This is my first post. I am really struggling at the moment, well, the last few weeks. I've had anxiety for years, but not as bad as this. Basically, my mind keeps attempting to convince me I have convicted the most heinous acts, which of course, I haven't. It festers and tries militantly to make me try to believe it. I mentioned one of the thoughts to one of my family members and whilst I adamantly said it didn't happen, they didn't quite understand. This has gone on for a few weeks now, from the moment I open my eyes, I worry about it and I don't know what to do. The main thing I worry about is rape, I am not capable of hurting anyone sexually or otherwise! But my brain keeps thinking, "what if you did though, then what?" It's horrible and I don't know what to do about it. Does anyone else have similar thoughts and perhaps some advice? I try to distract myself and tell myself over and over again "it didn't happen!" There's no actual sustenance to these delusions/thoughts. But yet, they keep coming back. I am hoping one day, I'll just forget about them and move-on. But the way things are going, I don't know. I have arranged to see my psychiatrist again next week and I'll try to ask him what he thinks. Hopefully he can put me on meds just to calm me down a while. I gave-up drinking again, which kind of helps. But I keep thinking maybe a few drinks will stop it, but I know that's not the case...Anyway that's a different story. Many thanks. For reading.